Only your ability to consciously overcome difficulties, not how
long you can sit with your eyes closed and observe
beautiful images, will show how developed your Consciousness is.
Eckhart Tolle
Everyone wants to be happy. There are hardly any people in the world who don’t wish for this.
But most people feel unhappy because their consciousness is dominated by the victim role.
It’s impossible to be a victim and achieve success at the same time.
If a person cultivates a victim consciousness and projects it to those around them, they thereby push away success, love, and happiness. This hinders them in life.
So what exactly is the victim state? How can you identify it?
Signs of a Victim
The victim state can be identified by the following signs:
- A person believes that their life is controlled by someone else. The victim feels like a puppet. They don’t take responsibility for their own life and for what happens to them.
- The victim complains, asks for help, but does nothing themselves to resolve the problem, takes no action to get out of the unpleasant situation.
- The victim doesn’t want to do anything; they just want to complain.
All people periodically find themselves in this state. Some more, some less. Everyone has areas of life where they feel like a victim.
If thoughts like “I’m so fed up with everything, everything is bad and wrong for me” visit you, you’ve fallen into the victim state. The main thing is not to get stuck in it.
The victim state is a non-resourceful state.
Read about how to return to a resourceful state after an emotional crash in the article “Algorithm for Returning to a Resourceful State [For Practitioners Only]”.
No one becomes a victim without their own consent. A person themselves allows the victim consciousness to take up residence within them.
Benefits of the Victim State
Although a person feels unhappy, the victim state has hidden benefits that they are unaware of.
The Victim Doesn’t Take Responsibility for Their Life
A person sincerely believes that all the sorrows in their life happen not because of them, but due to external circumstances. This way, the victim relieves themselves of responsibility.
The victim is convinced that their life is influenced by any circumstance: the opinions of others, the past, the environment and family they were born into.
Everything influences it, except for the choices and actions of the victim themselves.
Read about how to learn to make the right choice and confidently make wise decisions in the article “How to Make a Choice and Change Your Life for the Better”.
This position gives them the right to do nothing.
After all, if the circumstances that arise don’t depend on the person, and they are not the creator of their own life, then any attempt to improve their life is pointless.
The victim won’t take any action to change the situation. They always find justifications for their inaction.
She is desperately convinced that nothing will work out for her, so why bother doing anything.
See also: The Creator’s Level of Responsibility. How to deal with triggers and how to keep your focus on the higher reality
The victim needs attention
A person mistakenly believes that by feeling sorry for themselves, they can attract attention, sympathy, and love from others.
When they fail to create relationships, they mistake the feeling of self-pity for love.
That’s why the victim will whine, complain about life, and tell everyone how bad things are for them.
The victim, as a rule, always finds a reason for this: not enough money or too many debts, a bad husband (or wife), disobedient children, a hard job, something that hurts somewhere, etc.
Such a person believes that no one understands them, and that everyone around them is bad.
The victim always whines and thus dumps part of their negativity onto others. But at the same time, they are not ready and will not do anything to change their life.
If you give a victim good advice, they will find excuses and justifications for why that advice doesn’t suit them.
Because their goal is not to solve the situation, but to get a dose of attention.
See also: Dissatisfaction with life. How to change it
If the feeling of dissatisfaction is your frequent companion in life, then we recommend reading this article.
Through suffering, the victim emphasizes their own importance
By suffering, the victim becomes aware of their chosenness, even if they might not admit it.
The victim revels in mental torment; they are a great martyr. This is precisely where the “importance” and uniqueness of the victim manifest.
Women often try to increase their importance by sacrificing themselves for love. At the same time, they don’t understand that this self-sacrifice makes them unhappy.
Because a person will not be happy if they sacrifice themselves for someone or something.
As a result, they will only end up hating those for whom they made the sacrifice.
Self-sacrifice for the sake of a child’s happiness or a husband’s career most often leads to thoughts like: “How can he treat me this way? I did so much for him, I lived for him!”
Sacrificing yourself for others will push love and the joy of life out of a person’s life.
An unhappy person will not bring benefit to anyone, no matter how much they wish to. If they themselves are unhappy, no one around them will be happy either.
Sacrificing yourself for others is a mistake. Just as it is also wrong to force other people to sacrifice themselves for you.
The victim does not realize the benefits of their position.
Therefore, if you try to explain to them that it’s time to move from whining to action, that they should stop reveling in their suffering, the victim will be deeply offended by you.
See also: Stages of Consciousness Development: Victim — Warrior — Creator
The victim state has potential
Most people begin their development by going through troubles, starting from the victim state.
A dead-end moment arrives when a person realizes that they can no longer remain in such a situation.
It’s too painful and heavy, you’ve had it all up to here, you urgently need to change your lifestyle and your environment.
The victim position is necessary so that a person starts to take action.
Any unpleasant situations in a person’s life happen not so that they give in to circumstances, but so they can overcome the next stage of development and reach a new level.
The article “Evolution of the Human Soul: Integration and Attunement” will help you determine what level of spiritual development you are at.
The fear of illness or of losing a loved one, when relationships fall apart, can become a driving force and push a person to leave the victim state and move toward development.
When close people create difficult situations and provoke conflicts, it happens so that the person pays attention to what in their life no longer serves them.
Loved ones shine a light on what no longer fits into a person’s life.
Why people don’t want to give up the victim role
People feel fear at the thought that they will have to change something in their life: their lifestyle, their circle of acquaintances, their job.
After all, a happy person thinks differently, lives in a different environment, in a different circle, and people are not ready for such changes.
A person can’t imagine what it’s like to live without their familiar illnesses, troubles, without such dear suffering and lamentation.
As a result, the victim-person prefers to stay in their comfortable environment and refuses pleasant changes.
They find justifications for themselves that any changes are unattainable for them, so they don’t have to act. Instead of doing something, taking some steps, the person sits and suffers endlessly.
By clinging to the victim state, a person only harms themselves. The choices they make determine their future.
And while in a victim state, a person commits actions that push happiness, love, and joy away from them.
When unpleasant events happen in life, a person feels unhappy, like a victim.
And in that state, they only attract negative events. A new portion in the form of painful situations plunges them even deeper into a victim state.
The events that happen in their life seem to become stuck on negativity. It becomes a vicious circle.
See also Why you avoid your experience
Read about what the reluctance to live your true life is connected with and how to start valuing your experience.
How to get out of this cycle?
Until a person understands that they themselves attract certain circumstances into their life, that everything bad or good that happens to them is their own creation, any efforts to help them from those around them will be futile.
By leaving the victim state and taking full responsibility, a person is able to cope with any of life’s troubles, improve relationships with those around them, heal their physical body, and climb out of the deepest financial pit.
We’ll talk about how to part with the familiar image of a sufferer in our next article.