“When you need to make a choice, and you don’t make it — that is also a choice.”
William James
Every day a person has to make decisions, make choices from several possible options. And this is not an easy task.
A person constantly faces choices — what to wear, what to eat, how to spend the day, and so on. Such choices are made easily.
But what about more global decisions:
- When and where to go on vacation?
- Where to live? Buy a house or an apartment?
- Which educational institution to enroll in?
- Stay at the current job or accept a tempting offer?
- Who to tie your destiny to?
There are many such questions, and each person has their own. And as soon as one question is resolved, a new one arises.
And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries, and putting off making a decision until later.
Which option for solving the issue should you choose, and which one should you reject? Who should you ask for advice, and which advice should you listen to? The more complex the essence of the question, the harder it is to make a choice.
In this article, you will learn how to learn to make the right choice and what will help you not waver and confidently make wise decisions.
Your Life Is a Reflection of Your Choices
A person’s life is shaped by their values, actions, decisions, and deeds.
Look at where you are now, at what point on your life’s path. What you have, and what is absent in your life. This is all the result of your choices.
This is the law of consequence, through which your reality is changed and built.
Everything that exists in your life, everything that happens in it — you once created it all with your actions and choices.
One Step at a Time
On the path to a goal, a person constantly makes many different choices. And in every step of the journey, the final result depends on these small options and choices.
For example: On life’s path, a person encounters an obstacle, let’s call it figuratively — a “big stone — a boulder.” And this obstacle needs to be removed.
A person simply needs to make a choice about how to move forward. And they have at least three options — to climb over this boulder, to go around it, or to remove it from the path.
The person decides to remove the boulder from the path. And here again, options for solving the issue arise.
You can try to move the boulder yourself. You can call a group of people for help to apply more physical strength. Or you can use machinery.
The person thought it over and decided that using machinery was the best option for them.
Then new options open up again.
The necessary machinery can be bought, rented, or simply used for free or through barter by agreement. And so on.
In each option, there are its own possibilities for solving the issue that has arisen. And at every stage, you can turn in any direction that is necessary for the person.
There is also always the opportunity to turn back and not overcome the obstacles. That is also a choice.
Why Is It So Hard to Make a Choice
Making a decision is usually hindered by fears and doubts. Such fears are born from past experiences and from the uncertainty of the future.
From past experience, a person fears repeating past mistakes because they remember the pain they felt. In such a situation, it is difficult for a person to let go of the past, and they get stuck there.
For a detailed guide on how to let go of the past and start a new life, see this article: How and Why You Need to Let Go of the Past.
A person fears the future because they don’t know what lies ahead. The unknown scares them.
As a result, a person rejects opportunities due to fears and insecurity, because they expect some kind of trouble.
And only by being in the state of “Here and Now” can a person calmly make a choice.
Try the “Stone of Life” Meditation, it will help you stop running away with your thoughts into the past and stop worrying about an imagined future.
Don’t be afraid to take risks
When a person loses something, space is freed up in their life for something new. Be ready to accept this new thing.
While a person is thinking, they are standing still and not moving. They are wasting time.
Make any choice that seems most likely to you. Otherwise, you will keep walking in doubt and never get anywhere.
Results and success are achieved by those who take action.
Start taking small steps in the direction of your decision.
If you have several options, take small steps towards each of them, and you will understand which one is best for you.
Know that you can always return to another decision.
See also: Why You Choose Between Bad and Worse and How to Move to Multi-Option Choice
How to Make a Choice That Completely Satisfies You
Don’t try to make a decision based on emotions
The first thing to do is to calm down. Disconnect from the problem, do something pleasant, and then make your decision with a clear head.
When making a choice, rely on options that align with your values. Otherwise, the result of your choice will greatly disappoint you.
By going along with someone or something, a person makes a decision to their own detriment.
It is important to understand that every time you make choices, you gain knowledge, experience, and a better understanding of how to make future choices for your own benefit.
You always have the chances and opportunities to change your life.
Remember that at any stage you can make a choice that will turn you in the opposite direction if that is the necessary decision for you.
If you change your mind or suddenly realize that your desire to possess something was not truly yours or was unnecessary, but you didn’t understand that at the moment of your decision, you always have the opportunity to change everything.
See also: How to Make a Higher Choice and Focus on It
Think about what questions you need to find answers to in order to make a decision
Answer these questions honestly to yourself—much will become clear, and the decision will come on its own.
Here are a few question options you can ask yourself to clarify the situation.
- What will happen if you act in a certain way?
- How would you act if there were no fear?
- What do you do if your choice turns out not to be what you wanted as an outcome?
- Does your choice align with your values?
- What does your intuition tell you?
- How do you feel after making a particular decision?
- Which decision will move you up a notch in the quality of your life?
- What would you advise your loved ones?
Think through all possible consequences and make decisions based on these results.
Download the free booklet “How to Learn to Trust Yourself” to gain personal power and confidence. It will help you easily make the best decisions for yourself and confidently create your new reality.
Practices for working with the problem of choice
Get a hint in your sleep
There’s a good saying: “Morning is wiser than evening.”
Before bed, think about your situation, run through all possible scenarios based on what you know.
Ask the Higher Powers to give you a hint about your question in your sleep. Don’t forget to specify that you remember your dream in the morning.
In the morning, right after waking up, write down your dream, otherwise you might forget it. While you’re writing it down, a solution may come to you.
If you still have doubts in the morning, observe events throughout the day—you will definitely receive hints.
List the pros and cons of all choices
Based on your current situation, see how many possible solutions you have.
Take a sheet of paper for each option and write down one option on each sheet. Now consider all the options separately.
Divide the sheet into two parts. In the right column, write down all the pros of this choice, and in the left column, all the cons, point by point. Do this for each option in this situation.
This way of looking at the situation will allow you to clearly see and compare all the options. It will become clear which choice is more beneficial for you.
Use your intuition
Practice by Natalia Prokofieva.
A tip for those who don’t know how to listen to their intuition: apply this practice as often as possible, training on simple situations.
I recommend doing this practice in a meditative state. This way, the mind won’t interfere and suggest what it thinks is the best option.
Recall a time when you were faced with a choice about something important, you listened to your intuition, and it didn’t let you down. As time passed, you realized you had made the right choice.
Remember that feeling you had when you were making the decision. Let it be your benchmark.
It’s best if you recall several such instances and practice with them first.
Are the feelings the same or different?
The feelings might be different, but you’ll notice that one thing unites them. Capture and remember that moment, that feeling.
When you’re faced with another choice, immerse yourself in your feelings. What do you feel when you think about each option?
Compare those feelings with your benchmark. Is there a similarity with one of the options?
If there is, choose the option whose feeling resembles the benchmark. If none of the feelings are similar, then neither option is right.
These exercises will allow you to delve deeper into the situation, expand your consciousness, and help you make a balanced decision.
I recommend watching a movie on the theme of choice, which is aptly called “The Choice.” It’s a film about the difficult and fateful decisions the characters have to make and how their lives change as a result.
P.S. You can find the movie online on your own (the film was released in 2016). We do not post links to third-party resources.