A woman’s true power and fulfillment begin with acknowledging her own worth, her own greatness.
When you truly value yourself, you handle any problems and life’s challenges with ease; your desires come true as if by magic; people love and respect you, reflecting your inner state.
By the way, the amount of money in your life is also just a reflection of the magnitude of your inner self-worth.
The more you value yourself – the more money comes to you.
Of course, truly recognizing your own worth doesn’t happen overnight; it’s a whole process.
After all, our “unworthiness” and insignificance were drilled into us for years: “I am the last letter of the alphabet,” “If you want too much, you’ll get too little,” “You’re not old enough to have your own opinion,” “You don’t deserve it…,” “You need to be more modest,” and so on.
See also “Good Girl” or the Woman Who Creates. Which one do you choose to be?
The “Good Girl” takes care of others, not herself. “Others” here means not only loved ones, but also unknown “everyone.” She must be kind (Oh-oh-oh!… What a field day this gives manipulators who use your kindness for their own ends).
For years and decades, we were taught not to value ourselves, to sacrifice ourselves for others’ goals, were judged for minor mistakes, or had our achievements go unrecognized.
To clear away all this “debris” and free the flow of your energy and happiness requires a certain determination and inner work.
That’s what we’ll talk about today.
How to Find Your Feminine Worth
1. Praise and thank yourself
Find something you can thank yourself for right now.
What did you do well? What good thing did you do for yourself or others, what brought you joy or did you bring joy to someone?
Write a list of your strengths and skills that you can praise yourself for – at least 10 items. It’s better to use concrete examples: gorgeous hair, well-groomed hands, I make a delicious borscht, I embroider, I gave birth to two children, I bought myself a new dress.
You can update the list every day.
See also How to Learn to Accept Yourself
From this article you will learn why it’s so hard to accept yourself, the difference between acceptance and rejection, and get 6 practices to help you know yourself better and learn to accept.
2. Forgive yourself, stop judging yourself for the past
Every woman can find something to blame herself for (and “kind people” will help her with that).
Some scold themselves for knowingly or unknowingly causing pain to others; for making a “wrong” decision at some point in their lives.
Others even manage to judge themselves for allowing themselves to be treated badly in the past – for not protecting themselves from an abuser, for not leaving a tyrannical man in time.
Forgiving myself was the hardest point for me. One phrase helped me rethink everything: “At every moment in time, a person acts in the optimal way, based on their mental strength, capabilities, and knowledge.”
Simply put, any action we take is the best and most correct one. We can only do this at that moment. It’s only later, from the perspective of the future, when we see the consequences or have gained more strength, that we think, “it’s obvious what should have been done.”
But at the moment of the action, we didn’t have that future knowledge or the necessary amount of energy. Perhaps we were scared, confused, or emotionally wounded back then.
And instead of judging, simply have compassion for that woman – your past self. Without her, there would be no you – the person you are today.
See also The Pyramid of Self-Worth. How to Move from Judging Yourself to Unconditional Value
3. Forgive Those Who Wronged You
The principle here is the same – the person who hurt and wounded you simply couldn’t have acted differently. Let’s not dig into psychological reasons (for example, from their or your childhood) or the context of your relationship.
The main thing is they acted as they could back then. Perhaps they regretted it, perhaps not. You cannot influence that.
But it is within your power to break these negative connections of guilt and resentment that stretch into your past and are likely hindering both you and the person who wronged you right now.
Free yourself and them from this unnecessary and destructive burden. You are far too valuable, and you have greater tasks on Earth than nurturing a grudge for years.
See also The Three Components of Your Value Test Yourself.
4. Protect Your Boundaries
But, if you have forgiven those who wronged you, it doesn’t mean you now have to let them deep into your life or open yourself up to them completely.
Yes, we all have a Higher part (soul, Spirit), and in that space we forgive and understand the people who caused us pain.
But there is also the physical world – our personality, body, home, family, emotional values, material possessions – which are dear and important to us. And our task is to protect all of this from encroachment.
In this physical space, it is important to establish clear boundaries (first and foremost, define them within yourself): who I let into my home, what I do and don’t do for whom, at what time and regarding what matters I can be disturbed.
Emotional boundaries are no less important. You have the right to protect your inner emotional sphere:
- to not listen to judgment and insults directed at you, or other conversations unpleasant to you
- to explain to people who hurt you what about their behavior towards you doesn’t work for you
- if they continue – to end the communication
Read more about how to define and protect personal boundaries in the article Personal Boundaries — How Not to Lose Yourself
How to properly set boundaries with loved ones, acquaintances, and colleagues, explains Svetlana Dobrovolskaya:
5. Know the true value of your time and labor
Don’t take on just any work just to earn “at least a little more” money. As a rule, that amount ultimately doesn’t even cover your physical and emotional costs.
Each of you is surely a specialist in one or several areas. You can look online to see the price range for services similar to yours – the difference can be tenfold.
If these people ask that price for similar work (and get it!) – why can’t you?
See also: Reprogramming the Money Paradigm
6. Surround yourself with people – “loving mirrors”
You have the right not only to limit communication that is traumatic for you, but also to build a resourceful environment.
This is a circle of like-minded people who understand you and support your value. You enjoy spending time with these people, and your best qualities shine when you’re around them.
Finding such people might take some effort. But they exist, and they are surely looking for you too.
For example, a community of like-minded people has formed at “Keys to Mastery,” where you can always get friendly support or advice.
We’ve identified 15 signs to help you determine how much you love yourself. Read about how to show yourself love in everyday life.
7. Show love and respect for your body
Your body is the vessel of the Spirit; it is beautiful and valuable by definition. Love it, care for it, treat it gently.
Provide yourself with physical comfort and pleasure, buy beautiful and comfortable clothes.
Take care of your health (from a medical point of view), ensure you get enough physical activity.
See also The Paradoxical Cause of Excess Weight, and How to Deal with It
To continue your spiritual development and maintain your health, we need sports. Choose a training system that suits you best (dance, swimming pool, yoga), at least 1 hour a day and several times a week.
Eat what you truly enjoy. Even “healthy” eating, if the food doesn’t taste good to you, won’t bring any benefit.
8. Allow yourself to receive what delights and inspires you
Buy beautiful things, give yourself vivid experiences: travel, entertainment. Surround yourself with beautiful images and music.
Start with something small, but something that “warms” you and supports your feminine worth.
For me, it was a set of new cosmetics and a gorgeous powder brush with rhinestones. Every time I pick it up, I feel joy.
While walking through cold streets, you can step into any restaurant, even the most expensive one, and have a coffee or tea. Even in the most luxurious establishment, you can definitely afford a cup of coffee.
After all, in truth, you deserve the best.
See also What It Means to Be a Woman. From Roles to Purpose
9. Pamper your inner child
You are a woman, and you can allow yourself to be sensitive and spontaneous. Even if someone calls it being capricious.
You can do unusual things, fulfill strange desires, create whimsical items.
You have the right to try anything you want in your life. Create and explore the world without looking back at anyone.
Be playful and curious. By the way, this fascinates and excites men.
10. Take concrete actions to accept your own worth
You’ve read this article, daydreamed a little, and felt a sense of your own worth. But you won’t stop there, right?
The effect of just talking about it is short-lived. But you want to be a worthy and happy woman for your whole life, don’t you?
For that, concrete actions are needed. Do something from this list, or come up with your own – but do it right now.
And share it in the comments, I think it will be interesting not only for me!
See also The Autumn of Life or How to Transition to a New Level of Maturity
Read about how to accept your age and yourself in it.
Please share in the comments, what helps or hinders you from finding your feminine worth?
Ulyana Radnaya,
specially for “Keys of Mastery”