Every girl has been taught from childhood to be good.
Any one of us can list a whole set of rules, functions, and requirements that an ideal daughter, student, wife, employee, mother must meet…
We won’t dwell on the details; you can make your own list. But, looking at it generally, it boils down to a few points.
What a convenient, “good girl” SHOULD do
1. Obey your elders
There is always someone who knows what is “right.”
First – parents, grandparents. Then – teachers, bosses, husbands…
Even if a woman has already become a mother and, it would seem, can teach children the “rules” herself, she is not exempt from “obeying elders.” After all, there is her own mother, and also her mother-in-law.
It turns out there will always be someone “more authoritative” than you, and there seems to be no end to this cycle.
2. Don’t ask unnecessary questions, especially “Why does it have to be this way?”
Just because. Our grandfathers lived this way, and so will we.
You need to walk the comfortable, well-trodden paths of “generations of ancestors.”
3. Perform the accepted list of actions for a given social role
Which one? Well, you wrote it above, for example, for a “good mother” or a “good wife.”
Clean every day, make 50 liters of jam, don’t argue with the boss, go to the factory, force the children to study well…
Who determines this list – see the point above.
See also: Dedicated to the Vicious Critic
Try sitting down and writing down all the qualities that distinguish a good mother, in your understanding, from a bad one. Then re-read this list, and you will see for yourself that, TRY AS YOU MIGHT, you cannot live up to this role.
4. Take care of others, not yourself
You were convenient for scoundrels, because you are so kind…
Y. Yevtushenko
First think about others, about yourself – last (if time and energy remain). Yes, “others” means not only loved ones, but also the vague “everyone.”
Be kind (Oh-h-h!… What a field day this opens up for manipulators who use your kindness for their own purposes).
Don’t upset anyone. But, no matter what you do, someone will inevitably get upset or offended… They can pull your strings with this for a long time.
In short, a good girl is called that because she is good and convenient for everyone. Except herself. And everyone happily takes advantage of this…
5. Pass this experience on to other girls (daughters, students)
Because otherwise she will be called a “bad mother” or a “bad teacher.”
A joyless picture… It’s a vicious circle of “universal goodness.” Some women, who don’t love themselves, teach growing girls to live the same way they do, and those girls teach their daughters, and so on…
But there is one colossal thing in all this that really delights me. THE FREEDOM OF CHOICE.
And it is from this that the Creative Woman is born.
She creates her own reality. The word “should” disappears from her vocabulary. It kills the lightness and freedom of creation. Such a woman uses the words “I want” and “I choose.”
Of course, she is conscious and grounded; for her, freedom does not mean completely neglecting social rules.
She simply thinks and chooses, each time, how she will act in every next moment of her life.
See also: 6 steps of a woman to her true freedom
An internally free woman will be happy, find resources and a way out of any difficult circumstances. An internally unfree woman will suffer even in a favorable situation.
What a Woman Who Creates CHOOSES to Do
1. Listen to herself
Listen to her body, her heart, ask for advice from her Higher Self. Be guided by her own wisdom and intuition.
No one knows your life, circumstances, and the motives behind your choices better than you. There is not a single person in the world who knows “the right way” for you to act in your life, except you.
2. Constantly ask questions and seek new paths
Of course, the Creating Woman has a list of familiar and clear behavioral patterns that are pleasant for her and work well in her life (for example, going to bed at a certain time).
But she discovered them herself, by listening to herself and studying her body and psyche.
She is familiar with the experience of previous generations, but she doesn’t accept it all “on faith”; she only takes what is truly comfortable and valuable for her.
Her feminine energy is very high. She creates every moment, looking for unconventional options. She sees and creates beauty and magic even in the simplest, most mundane things. A dance, a painting, playing with a child, or cooking dinner — everything in her hands becomes a miracle.
See also: The Autumn of Life or How to Move to a New Level of Maturity
How to understand and accept your age and remain in awareness.
3. Strive to be as happy as possible, regardless of the social role she is currently playing
The beauty of a woman is not in her clothes, figure, or hairstyle. It shines in her happy eyes. For the eyes are the gateway to the heart, where love lives.
Audrey Hepburn
A good daughter, wife, mother, employee – first and foremost, in every case, the Creating Woman is happy. She chooses joy and pleasure, and does not do what contradicts this. Even if someone thinks she “should do it.”
Next to a happy woman, her husband, children, and colleagues are happy. Her feelings are sincere and light, and every family member feels inspired next to her.
And various household or professional tasks in this flow get done as if by themselves. And yes, those around her are very happy to help with them.
Find out which 15 steps will help unlock your inner source of love.
4. Love and value herself
Take care of her physical health and psychological comfort.
Rest, relax, engage in enjoyable physical activities, get massages and spa treatments.
Find time and solitude for self-development and meditation. Communicate with pleasant people (you can find a more extensive list of activities that boost feminine energy here).
A woman who loves herself and is happy fills the surrounding space, her family, and her work team with warmth and light.
See also: Selfishness and Self-Love. What’s the Difference
5. Support the value and freedom of choice in others
You should always tell girls that they are beautiful and that everyone loves them. If I have a daughter, I will always tell her she is beautiful, I will brush her hair, and I will not leave her alone for a single minute.
Marilyn Monroe
The Creative Woman does not impose her lifestyle on anyone and does not judge others’ ways of life.
But everyone who communicates with her is filled with a sense of lightness and their own worth. She has accepted her own beauty and strength, and now she sees it in others.
The Creative Woman is truly inspiring for her friends, daughters, students…
How wonderful that in every moment of our lives there is freedom of choice!
Every woman can choose for herself whether to remain a good and convenient girl until retirement, or to take her life into her own hands and create it with pleasure…
And I have made my choice. Which is what I wish for you too, dear friends.
Ulyana Radnaya,
specially for Keys of Mastery
P.S. I invite you to go through Alena Starovoitova’s amazing meditation “On the Mountain Top” to connect with yourself as a Creative Woman: