Spring is a time of freedom. Rivers break free from ice, sprouts break free from the tight prison of the seed, the sky breaks free from the endless gray veil…
We women are cyclical beings, and, together with all of nature, we too want freedom. Freedom of soul and body. That’s what we’ll talk about today.
What is feminine freedom and unfreedom?
Generally, in what case can you say about yourself “I am a free woman”?
We’re not sitting in prison, we’re not chained to work, to the kitchen, to exhausting relationships… Physically – it seems not.
But, as you know yourself, emotional and mental (i.e., thought-based, intellectual) bonds are often stronger than physical ones. And they can limit our freedom much more…
Let me clarify. I’m not talking about external freedom now, but about internal freedom.
An internally free woman will be happy, find resources and a way out of any difficult circumstances. An internally unfree woman will suffer even in a favorable situation.
See also A Woman’s Happiness and the Negative Programs That Prevent Her from Finding It
Our society has not yet gotten rid of outdated programs regarding women’s purpose and self-realization. Read about the 4 programs that, to one degree or another, guide women’s thoughts and actions.
And now, more specifically about the steps to a woman’s inner freedom.
Let’s highlight a few main stumbling blocks that need to be removed from your life in order to free the flow of your inner freedom.
1. Free yourself from the need to be good. Act according to your own choice
We were all taught to be “good,” which essentially means convenient girls (more on this in the article “Good Girl or Woman Who Creates. Which Do You Choose to Be?”).
We grew up long ago, but the set of criteria for “goodness” got imprinted in our consciousness.
- “Don’t stand out, keep quiet, you’ll pass for smart” (but then how do you build a career?);
- “Don’t ask for toys or candy, if offered – refuse” (later the woman doesn’t know how to accept gifts even from her beloved man, killing his desire to do anything for her);
- and the all-time hit: “Sex is shameful, good girls are embarrassed by it, only loose women love IT” (and then again, they ask – why aren’t you married or don’t you have children)…
With all these beliefs, I believe, we need to say goodbye.
Yes, it’s not easy and requires inner work. But how wonderful that there are methods and courses that allow you to get rid of such “mental garbage”!
It’s clear that chaos doesn’t reign in the soul of a free woman. She has her own principles and rules. But she formulated and chose them herself.
And yes, someone might not like them. A free woman stops being convenient. But she usually becomes happy and sincerely loved.
See also How to Unlock Your Inner Source of Love
15 steps that will help you fill yourself with love from within and change your life.
2. Free yourself from the need to always be right. Know that your opinion is valuable, but it’s just your opinion 🙂
Another major unfreedom is the ironclad feeling of being right and the desire to convey it to everyone around you.
Remember the discomfort you feel when someone tries to impose their “holy truth” on you (“unshakable traditions,” “life experience,” “expert opinion,” “ancestral foundations”).
Well, it’s much harder for the person who lives within all these “foundations” and broadcasts them. Because all their energy goes into maintaining these bulky structures in our flexible and changing world.
Think about whether you have such beliefs and how you handle them.
I’m not calling for a complete abandonment of describing the world. Of course, you will have your own opinion on various issues.
But I believe you need to revisit it from time to time and, certainly, not impose it on others. That’s just extra pain and unfreedom for you yourself.
Yes, everything I write here is, of course, just my opinion 😉
See also Unconditional Love as a Healing Tool
How to feel unconditional love and the difference between unconditional love and conditional love.
3. Free yourself from the need to control everything. Trust yourself and the world
In reality, the idea that we can control anything at all is an illusion. 98% of incoming information passes right by our consciousness.
The attempts to hold onto everything and everyone and keep track of it all consume a lion’s share of our energy, which could go toward creativity, restoring health, and self-realization.
And, as a rule, the biggest unfreedom lies in the desire to control those around us. This is a 100% losing game.
We so badly want people (especially loved ones) to behave in a certain way. We demand, ask, double-check. And usually, time and again, we suffer and burn through our resources.
We live on a planet of free choice, and each person is responsible for their own life.
You don’t need to control loved ones or the world. Usually, it’s enough to simply ask sincerely.
If you don’t get what you want – no big deal. It means you asked for the wrong thing or the wrong person. Or the person simply isn’t able to fulfill it.
But, as a rule, people hear and fulfill requests – unlike orders.
Living in an “uncontrollable” world is actually more interesting.
After all, the Universe usually has something much better in store for us than we could ever imagine!
See also How to Learn to Trust. 8 Recommendations for Developing Trust
4. Free yourself from the need to take everything personally. Separate yourself from other people’s perception of you
All your loved ones and acquaintances, of course, have some kind of image of you. This is not the real You. It’s just their picture, an illusion – a cocktail of their memories, perceptions, and fantasies about you, generously seasoned with their own attitude toward the world.
Every person has the right to think and say whatever comes into their head. They can also judge and criticize you, and there’s nothing you can do about it (we’ve already talked about control).
What can you do? Choose how to react to it, as well as who you spend time with and when.
And remember that other people’s opinions of you, your appearance, and your actions are just their opinions.
And if it hurts you, you can reflect on why it hurts and work through that issue; or consider whether you’ve let someone destructive get too close to you.
See also What It Means to Be a Woman. From Roles to Purpose
5. Free yourself from the need to sacrifice yourself. Perform every action with joy
Sacrifice, meaning giving up something meaningful to you for the sake of another person or an idea, is always painful.
If an idea or concept forces you to sacrifice, ask yourself if it’s really that good.
And why sacrifice yourself, for example, for loved ones, when you can simply help them according to your desire and ability.
Maybe you won’t give as much as they want—you’ll give what you can. But it will be done sincerely, with joy.
Trust me, it will be a blessing for both them and you.
Any energy you invest multiplies. Sacrifice sets off a cycle of more sacrifice, joy increases joy.
Also useful: How to Stop Sacrificing Yourself Without Being Selfish
6. Don’t force yourself to follow a strict schedule. Listen to your own cycles and nature’s rhythms
A woman is deeply connected to nature. Our lives are filled with rhythms—breathing, heartbeats, daily activity, the monthly hormonal cycle, and so on.
We are influenced by the cycles of the Moon and Sun, as well as other celestial bodies.
And this isn’t just “energy work”—it’s basic physics. If the Moon moves the waters of the world’s oceans, and we are 70% water, how could it not affect us?
That’s why sometimes a “causeless” melancholy washes over you or your well-being dips slightly—your body is suggesting you restore your strength. At other moments, your mood and productivity sharply rise, and so on.
Forcing yourself to always be an efficient and resilient “iron lady” is not only a lack of freedom but also a path to illness.
Listening to yourself and living in tune with natural cycles is a tremendous blessing for a woman. Perhaps one of the most important degrees of freedom we can allow ourselves.
See also How a Good Morning Routine Can Change Your Life
You might ask—how is this possible, with work, schedules, kids, and society’s demands?
Honestly, I won’t give you ready-made recipes. I’ll just say that if the first 5 steps are completed, the 6th step flows from them easily and naturally.
I wish you success on this path!