No conscious forward movement is possible without awareness of the imperfection of the stage you are at, and without understanding its imperfection.
Daniil Leonidovich Andreev
A human being is a social creature, and their entire life is built on interaction with others. But people express themselves differently in communication with each other.
For example, there are people who possess heightened sensitivity. They are able to easily pick up on the moods of those around them and empathize with them, to feel and channel the states of their loved ones.
People with such abilities are called empaths.
Empathy is the ability to feel the emotions of others, the skill to put yourself in another person’s place and understand their feelings and thoughts.
Excessive sensitivity can be both a punishment and a gift for a person. The expression of empathy is neither a good nor a bad quality; it all depends on how this ability is used.
In this article, we will talk about how highly sensitive people can adapt to life.
What is harmful about the expression of empathy
It would seem that such a unique ability as strong sensitivity, given to a person from birth by nature, what could be unpleasant about this quality?
In reality, the expression of empathy can bring a lot of discomfort and even destroy a person from within if they do not know how to use this gift.
Let’s look at how this manifests.
- Perceiving other people’s problems as your own
Empaths are able to understand and feel those around them as if they were themselves. Empaths are especially sensitive to perceiving negative states. Because of this sensitivity, they often fall into a gloomy mood.
Tuning into someone else’s negativity and someone else’s problems changes their emotional state and drains their energy, which leads to overwork.
- Susceptibility to psychosomatics
An empath has heightened emotional involvement, and at the same time, it is difficult for them to distinguish their own emotions from the emotions of other people. Therefore, by picking up on the states of those around them and identifying them as their own, the empath often experiences stress and anxiety.
Because of this, a hypersensitive person is more susceptible to psychosomatic illnesses.
Read about how emotions affect your health in the article “Emotional Immaturity. How to Move from Emotions to Feelings.”
- Self-denial for the benefit of others
Empaths cannot allow a person to suffer, so they always try to solve other people’s problems, completely forgetting about themselves and their own needs.
By denying themselves something, empaths believe they are acting for the good of others. But in reality, they often do people a disservice, which brings more harm than good.
If you give a person a crutch, they won’t be in a hurry to learn to walk on their own; the support provided is quite comfortable for them.
As a result, by sacrificing themselves and guided by the noblest intentions, empaths can also provide inappropriate help to their loved ones.
- Inflated sense of guilt and duty
Empaths may unreasonably feel guilty that a loved one is in a gloomy state of mind at a time when something pleasant is happening in their own life. Or they may blame themselves because it is not within their power to help that person.
Deeply sensitive people feel a need to help others, but this is more of a burden for them, since it is not in their power to help everyone.
People around them easily manipulate an empath’s desire to help, their state of empathy, responsibility, and duty, although often they themselves are unaware of it.
Read the story of the transformation of a person with the gift of supersensitivity.
How to Solve the Problem of Heightened Sensitivity
1. Don’t Neglect Yourself
Don’t carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders. Don’t sacrifice your own well-being for the sake of others. When you take part in solving the problems of loved ones, learn to do it without harming yourself.
Remember that you can only help others if you yourself are in a resourceful state. Set your priorities correctly and don’t forget to take care of yourself first — you are the most valuable thing you have.
See the list of techniques for returning to a resourceful state in the article “Algorithm for Returning to a Resourceful State [For Practitioners Only]”.
2. Learn to Concentrate Your Attention on Yourself
Empaths have poor control over their own emotions; it is difficult for them to identify their own feelings from the feelings of others. It is necessary to learn to detach and distinguish your emotions from the emotions of those around you, to understand and become aware of your own personal desires.
For example, when entering a store, turn your gaze inward, feel what your body needs right now. Feel which foods resonate with your body, which ones would be beneficial at that particular moment.
The more often you concentrate your attention on yourself, the easier it will be for you to realize where your feelings and emotions are, and where others’ are.
3. Don’t Close Yourself Off
Constantly reading other people’s states leads a person to increased emotional load. Because of this, an empath may develop a desire to limit communication as much as possible.
You won’t be able to completely withdraw from society, but it is quite possible that at some stage partial distance will be a necessary step. For the time while you are learning to concentrate on yourself and distinguish your emotions, while you are learning not to get drawn into other people’s states.
And remember, if a person is closed off, they cannot use their gift. By doing so, they close off the opportunity to develop their natural abilities and the opportunity to learn how to master their gift.
4. Establish Personal Boundaries
Communication is the main type of interaction between people. Therefore, closing yourself off and denying yourself communication is not always a reasonable solution. Especially if you are a sociable person by nature, maintaining distance from people around you will not be a pleasant solution for you.
In this situation, the ability to feel personal boundaries and the ability to effectively establish them can help you solve this problem.
You will learn how to establish personal boundaries by reading the article “Personal Boundaries – How Not to Lose Yourself”.
5. Don’t Absorb Other People’s Problems
Do not dive deep into the states of other people, learn to control and manage your sensitivity. You need to realize that there is no point in suffering along with others. Suffering does not solve the situation in any way.
And especially do not rush to offer help and solve other people’s problems for them if the problem does not personally concern you.
Most often, the person themselves does not want to solve their problems. They like to complain, feel sorry for themselves, and look for someone to blame; they like to shift responsibility onto others.
Remember, no one can solve all the world’s problems. And your desire to get tangled up in someone else’s problem drains your energy and robs the person involved of their strength.
6. Don’t give in to manipulation
Empaths are by nature generous, selfless, trusting, responsive, and kind-hearted people. And these pure impulses of the soul are often exploited by those around them, especially consumers, people who have no sense of measure or gratitude.
Don’t fall for manipulation and don’t play other people’s games. Otherwise, you might miss something in your own life, and that something could very well be important to you.
In my next article, I will tell you how to change the polarity of empathy.