When a person is only at the stage of returning their power, they cannot always maintain the state of an observer; unpleasant comments or remarks from others can knock them out of balance.
If this sounds familiar to you, read on to learn how to set boundaries with your environment, maintain neutrality, and hold your vertical when communicating with loved ones who do not understand you, and with those who invade your personal space.
How to set boundaries with your environment during the period of returning your power
The return of power occurs under two conditions:
- when you build your vertical, you begin to see your strengths and rely on them.
- you openly acknowledge your weaknesses, begin to use them, and stop berating yourself for them.
That is when a core appears within you.
When you are still in the process of building your vertical, a toxic environment can knock you off balance, dragging you into the swamp you are desperately trying to escape.
Therefore, until you grow stronger, it is easier to withdraw for a while and not communicate. And when you have already reclaimed your power, it will no longer matter to you; you will be able to communicate with them. But they will not even come to you; they will bounce off you.
Read also Spiritual Awakening: How to Stay in the State of the Creator
Do not try to change your loved ones
If you are moving forward, upward, and feel that your environment is pulling you down, change that environment, choose who to communicate with.
Usually, when you start to develop, your old environment naturally falls away. That is one side of the coin. On the other hand, there is an opinion that your results depend 80% on the environment you are in.
You cannot remake those close to you; you can only accept them. This is one of the big traps on the path of spiritual growth, because everyone tries to remake them.
Accept your loved ones and leave them alone, especially your parents. They have the right to live as they wish. They gave birth to you, raised you, and fulfilled their primary task towards you.
But this does not mean you must please them in everything and obey them. If they are pulling you down, reduce communication.
Your loved ones and your environment are not obligated to accept you. Do not take nasty remarks personally. If you react to them, it means some part of you agrees with them.
See also: How to stop adapting to loved ones and achieve understanding
On the need to set boundaries with your environment to avoid falling into a negative state
Most people do not like the word “no.” Neither those to whom it is addressed, nor those who find it difficult to set boundaries.
For many, the word “no” is not a signal to stop and cease doing what another person dislikes. People, regardless of the other person’s wishes, want to get their point across at all costs.
There is a difference when you need to vent, you do it, feel better, and you rise again. But usually, female solidarity kicks in — you both fall into judgment and gossip.
And if you were at a “zero” level in terms of resources before, after this you fall into a big negative: both vibrationally, energetically, and in terms of mood.
How to stop a mental dialogue with an interlocutor
For example, someone has entered into an argument with you or reacted negatively to your statement.
Here it is important not to get involved, to maintain the position of an observer. But this is not always possible. And then the principle of an unfinished cycle, an energetic ping-pong, kicks in.
You have already left the situation, but the mental dialogue continues. They sent you a serve, and you accepted it, got drawn in, and are bouncing this ball back and forth instead of switching off.
You start thinking about this situation, leading a mental dialogue with the person.
It is useless to prove anything, simply withdraw from this conversation. If it is some chat or comments, leave it and do not go back there.
If it is a close person, allow them to live through their experience. The best thing you can do is simply offer human support, without being obliged to share their opinion. Believe in the person.
The task is not to continue playing this ping-pong, to be in the position of an observer. If in any situation you learn to maintain this duality: you are inside, you are from the outside, then you will not get drawn in. Because the part that observes will always be aware that this is not about you, it is not you, and will not take it personally.
And, accordingly, it will not allow those emotions that you experience from within to flare up.
Read about what vertical relationships are and how they differ from horizontal ones.
How to set boundaries with elderly parents
When a person has weak boundaries, they themselves often intrude into someone else’s space.
It is difficult to set boundaries with elderly parents; they grew up by different rules, they take offense.
Speak to them in the language they understand.
From a state of fullness and inner strength, you declare that your rules of the game are such and such, and you set these rules.
For example: “I am not interested in problems or troubles of relatives, so I am letting you know that you don’t need to tell me such things if you don’t need my help.”
The next time such a situation arises, you remember what you agreed upon and end the conversation: “Sorry, I won’t talk about this. I warned you.”
Be prepared that your parents will initially be offended, there will be emotional blackmail, but in the end, if you stand your ground with love, the person will give in.
It is important that you do not explain why you don’t want to listen. Because behind the declarations is a motive to be understood. But as a rule, they don’t want to understand you, even though it is a close person.
Stand your ground without reproach, without accusations, maintain neutrality.
See also: How to protect yourself from energy vampires and preserve your energy
Write in the comments: do you have your own ways of maintaining neutrality when communicating with people, what helps you hold your vertical?