So, what is empathy, and why does this quality cause so much suffering for those who possess it?
Google gives the following definition: “Empathy is a conscious co-experiencing of another person’s current emotional state without losing the sense of the origin of that experience.”
It’s simply an ability a person is born with, just like a musical ear, a singing voice, or being a person with curly hair.
But because people love to suffer, they’ve decided that this, too, can be a reason for suffering.
Yet few have considered that a person with a keen ear sometimes suffers much more in everyday life. Poor quality sound from radios, televisions, “white noise” — it can even prevent them from having a peaceful breakfast.
Or people who write with their left hand. They find it extremely inconvenient in a right-handed world. They constantly have to adapt in daily life: stair railings, door handles, even teacups are mostly designed for right-handed people.
And a person with curls must take careful care of their hair, otherwise they’ll end up with a “mop” on their head. Only in movies or online do wavy hair lie beautifully, but few people pay close attention — hair curls predominantly in one direction.
It all depends on a person’s perception. In our post-Soviet space, everyone wants to be “like everyone else,” to stand out less, to attract less attention.
So empaths live and hide their sensitivity from everyone, and suffer because of it. On one hand, because their boundaries are violated; on the other, because they can’t relax, open up, or trust. But they need to use this gift, this uniqueness, for their own benefit and for others.
So what should you do, how do you live with empathy while maintaining harmony and balance? The following tips will help empaths adapt among people.
How to Live with Empathy
1. Acknowledge Yourself as an Empath
It will be easier for you to understand your feelings. You will panic less and stop engaging in self-flagellation. It will also be easier for those around you when you openly say that something is unpleasant for you.
Some may not understand, because only 15-20% of people possess this ability.
2. Define and Protect Your Personal Boundaries
Monitor the “quality” of your environment, limit or cut off communication with toxic people. Learn to say “no.”
At first, it will be awkward and uncomfortable. But when your energy stays with you, you will understand what a good skill this is.
See also: Personal Boundaries – How Not to Lose Yourself
3. Make Time for Yourself and Rest
Ideally, set aside 10-15 minutes every morning and evening for meditation. Due to a heavy workload, find at least 15 minutes a day for a cup of coffee or tea in a calm setting, for a leisurely walk, for reading favorite books, knitting, or handicrafts.
Give yourself 15 minutes to slow down and release others’ emotions.
See also: Practices for Maintaining Balance
We have prepared a selection of materials to help you find balance and maintain a mindful state.
4. Limit Access to the Internet and TV
Watching the news, other people’s struggles, or personal tragedies is not for you. You feel others’ pain very keenly, and it will take a great deal of effort for you to switch off.
Why do you need such experiences? Want to help? Help with actions. Real people, animals — with real actions.
5. Lead a Healthy Lifestyle
Exercise, stick to proper nutrition, and give up bad habits.
As they say, a healthy mind in a healthy body. Drowning or smoking away, eating up other people’s emotions mixed with your own is not the best option.
If you’ve picked up someone else’s emotions, fears and worries have washed over you, go for a walk or a run. Walk around, observe nature, buildings, the sky, leaves or the grass under your feet. Be in the present moment.
See also How to manage your emotions, and why it’s so important for you
6. Keep a journal
Sometimes other people’s life situations strongly capture your mind. Your body tenses up from invisible pain and panic sets in.
Take a sheet of paper and write down all your thoughts and experiences. Just in a continuous stream of text, whatever comes to mind. 15-20 minutes will pass, and the thoughts will stop. You will feel that you have released the negativity.
See also How to determine the progress of your development, or 3 compelling reasons to start keeping a journal of achievements
Everything depends on ourselves and our choice. Whether to suffer from the gift or to use its uniqueness, everyone decides for themselves.