Что значит жизнь в зазеркалье? Вспомните детский фильм “Королевство кривых зеркал”, куда попали девочки, и им нужно было оттуда выбраться.
Многие из нас живут в таких королевствах, созданных собственным умом.
Последние годы показали, насколько мы управляемы картинками и представлениями, которые генерирует ум на уровне подсознания.
Даже если вы осознанны, пробуждены, все это проходит мимо вас в виде автоматических реакций, автоматических мыслей.
Поскольку этот процесс неосознаваемый, неконтролируемый, неуправляемый, сделать что-то с этим невозможно.
В последние годы нас ведут не просто к тому, чтобы вернуть управление своей жизнью целиком и полностью, а к тому, чтобы воспользоваться способностями Творца, которые скрыты внутри каждого человека.
Правда, для этого нужно стать над матрицей, выйти из полярности, дуальности, противопоставления.
Чтобы сделать этот шаг — начать действительно что-то сотворять, надо как минимум оказаться в реальности, увидеть, что на самом деле происходит, а для этого нужно покинуть зазеркалье, в котором вы пребываете.
Масштаб этого зазеркалья за последние годы вырос в разы. Этому способствовало множество факторов, и неважно, какой вы бы темой ни занимались, какие бы источники информации вы ни изучали.
В статье рассмотрим несколько проявлений зазеркалья в вашей жизни.
Что такое жизнь в зазеркалье. Как мы туда попадаем
Мы когда-то читали в духовной литературе, что каждый сам создает ту реальность, в которой пребывает.
Всем известно о том, что ты излучаешь изнутри, то и получаешь снаружи.
И это превратилось в одну из духовных иллюзий. Казалось бы, сижу я тут, свечу, излучаю любовь, и вдруг происходит какая-нибудь ситуация: оскорбили, отругали, не выплатили премию, которая сильно выбивает из равновесия и ставит под сомнения тот путь, по которому вы идете.
Возникают вопросы: а правильно ли вы это делаете? Может быть, вообще это все просто фантазии?
Плюс противодействие. Первое проявление теневого аспекта, с каким я сталкиваюсь среди нашей аудитории, это когда человек, наслушавшись рекомендаций своих друзей и знакомых: “Послушай, что говорят на “Ключах Мастерства”, в первую очередь реагирует гневом и возмущением: “Да что она себе позволяет?! В лоб говорит вещи, кого-то строит!”
В итоге человек, который порекомендовал, получает резкое негодование: “Куда ты меня отправил?”
Но самое интересное, что эти люди потом появляются через год-два, и мне очень нравится читать обратную связь: “Меня сначала Алена бесила, возмущала тем, как она говорит, о чем она говорит, а потом наступило принятие”.
Потому что отсутствует совпадение между жизнью реальной и тем, какой вы ее себе представляете. Отсюда и резкая реакция на это несовпадение.
А это первое проявление тени, потому что тень — это то, что мы не осознаем. Оно работает на уровне подсознания, до осознанности не доходит. А на выходе там скрыто несколько важных ключевых вещей.
См. также Что такое теневые аспекты личности и как вернуться к себе истинному (Read more: shadow aspects of personality are the hidden, repressed, or denied parts of ours…)
Что скрывает Тень. 4 ключевых ориентира
- what we forbid ourselves
- what we don’t allow ourselves
- what we reject in ourselves
- what we suppress in ourselves
Here are four key guideposts.
For example, modesty used to be considered a virtue, a moral value.
We’ve all been through this: “You need to be modest, don’t stick out.” Ever since school — the less you show yourself, the less they’ll make you perform on stage or go to some Olympiads. The main survival strategy was not to stick out, not to show yourself.
As a result, when it’s time to speak up and show yourself, a person just can’t do it. When it’s time to firmly set a boundary and say, “this doesn’t work for me, it’s not for me,” the person stays silent, following this policy of moral and ethical virtues.
But what happens when you encounter someone who acts in the complete opposite way?
They don’t just show themselves, they don’t just carry themselves — they have an opinion on everything, they want to show their expertise, authority, and experience everywhere. This triggers a sharp emotional reaction and rejection, irritation, fury, anger.
See also: Why some people annoy you for no reason (Read more: some people get on your nerves for no reason)
How triggers work
1. The “queue” trigger: suppressed aggression
Let me give you an example with a queue. The situation — you need to cut in line without waiting. Think about it, at the hospital, the pharmacy, the checkout: “I just need to ask a quick question.”
The situation is the same, but people react differently:
- Someone will sigh with displeasure but let them through, say nothing, not express their displeasure, swallow it. These people often have sore throats, often get various respiratory illnesses, because the connection is direct — you swallow too much.
- Someone will calmly and balancedly ask clarifying questions — that’s normal. A normal reaction is to ask, you never know, maybe the person is really running late or has a little kid at home.
- But those people whose own audacity is suppressed will start fuming, cursing, lashing out: “You’re so brazen and shameless! How dare you?! What do you think you’re doing?!”
This all perfectly illustrates how the shadow works. When something inside you is locked away, suppressed, you don’t allow it or you reject it, it doesn’t just disappear from you.
You’ve stuffed it somewhere, nailed it shut, hidden it on a high shelf or in some drawer under the bed so no one can see it. For various reasons — out of shame, because you were scolded as a child, or because you’re trying to live up to the role of a good wife, a good mother.
The main thing is that it’s there somewhere, but it’s hidden. And because it’s hidden and not acknowledged, the only way to get through to you and show you, “Hey, hello, I’m here!” is through another person.
And so you see a situation where someone acts the way you don’t allow yourself to, and it makes you explode from the inside.
But if you ask other people who were present during the same situation, this looking-glass effect appears. It turns out that many people reacted completely calmly and indifferently.
Someone asked again whether it was necessary, not necessary, and what it was for. And if they considered it important, they let it pass or didn’t. Completely measured, without any emotions.
See also: The meaning of a trigger, its benefits, and how to befriend it (Read more: the meaning of a trigger, its usefulness, and how to make peace with it)
2. The “Children” Trigger: Conflict with Inner Prohibitions
Another great example is children.
Many of us lacked a lot of things in childhood, even with loving, amazing, caring parents. Times were tough.
Many parents, when they have children, first and foremost try to give them what they themselves lacked. So, my friends went to music school only because their mother once wanted to play the piano. Their parents didn’t have the means, so their own desires get passed onto the children.
Sound familiar?
This is called “giving your child the best.” But the best isn’t what they want, but what the parents consider best for them.
In this regard, especially young children serve as an amazing trigger for parents, because children born in the last 10-15 years don’t have those same inhibitors and self-sacrifice that we and the slightly younger generation have.
You can negotiate with them, you can explain things to them, but by default, for example, the authority of an adult, a parent, or a kindergarten teacher doesn’t exist for these children. They don’t understand why they should force themselves to sit still, obey adults, and do as they’re told when they want to do something else.
They are different, they don’t have that built-in algorithm of obedience that we absorbed.
What do such children do? They endlessly irritate their parents or those around them.
In our course “Dance with the Shadow,” phrases like this often come up: “Other people’s children irritate me. They aren’t being raised properly, they don’t know how to behave, they scream and yell.”
A common situation you see periodically in stores is a child rolling on the floor, screaming, demanding that their mom buy them something.
In the looking-glass, how do the parents or the people around them at that moment react?
- Someone reacts calmly, someone finds a candy in their bag, tries to distract them, shift their attention: “Maybe I should give you a candy?” Strangely enough, some children stop crying immediately.
- Someone looks on with judgment. There’s always some grandmother who starts lecturing about how the parents raised the child wrong.
The situation is the same, but depending on the looking-glass a person is in, their reaction to it, how you see it, and what conclusions you draw, are completely different.
Why Other People’s Expressions Affect Us So Much
When someone’s shadow aspects come out, it’s very noticeable against the backdrop of those who are indifferent to the situation.
Having a strong emotional reaction is a direct signal that what we call the shadow is trying to make contact with you — that which has been suppressed.
Children who demand increased attention and the fulfillment of their needs, or children who disregard homework and grades — “I want to play, scroll on my phone, or just chill out” — are essentially showing that they are choosing themselves. I am more important to myself than all your adult rules.
And this absolutely blows parents’ minds — not all parents, but those who don’t allow themselves many things out of a sense of correctness, goodness, or moral-ethical principles like modesty and so on.
These simple everyday examples clearly show that inside there is something hidden, stashed away, and dressed up with feathers and wrappers, just so it won’t be seen.
And the only way this something can reveal itself is by triggering a strong reaction in similar situations — where it is locked away, concealed, buried.
In what situations have you caught yourself having a strong reaction? Were you later able to realize what you were suppressing or forbidding yourself from doing?
In the second article of this series, you’ll learn how to step out of the looking glass and take back control of your reactions. Stay tuned for updates on the site.