There is one question, the answer to which will completely turn around your perception of yourself…
But before I reveal this secret question to you, I want to clarify:
Who among you is 100% satisfied with the way you look?
Who among you can say that you are one hundred percent happy with your figure, hips, eyes, or nose?
Got you thinking? That’s good…
This article is precisely aimed at making you think and re-evaluate how you perceive yourself… to see that within your weakness lies a great strength.
So, here is the secret question:
What IRRITATES you and ATTRACTS you in the people around you?
Right now, take a piece of paper and a pen and write this down:
For example, I don’t know how to walk in heels. I can if I have to, but I can’t say I feel natural and comfortable in them.
And there are women who “run” in stilettos through snow and ice, and quite successfully, too )
I have always admired women who get up two hours early to get themselves ready before heading to work.
I always felt that was a waste of time. But someone does it every day.
See also: How to use negative personality traits to your advantage
A person comes into this world with a certain set of character qualities. Learn how to use your “flaws” to make your life better, more interesting, and more pleasant.
Your emotional reaction is a SIGNAL
A quality that evokes a strong emotional reaction in you belongs to YOU.
It’s just that, for certain reasons, you have stopped noticing this part of yourself.
Most often, this is due to an emotional trauma. In childhood or adolescence.
Let’s go back to the question: do you like everything about yourself, are you one hundred percent satisfied with how you look…
If your answer is “No”, the reason is most likely in your teenage years: “Oh, a pimple popped up in the most visible place. Oh, but her chest is bigger. Oh, I’m getting a little fat roll here.”
See also: The paradoxical cause of excess weight
There is an important reason for weight gain that neither nutritionists nor psychologists know about…
All your attempts to go on a diet, to do something with your body, end with you REJECTING a part of yourself.
You are literally building a FENCE inside yourself:
I like this — this is ME. I DON’T like this — I won’t notice it, this is NOT ME.
Thus, many qualities inherent in you — inconvenient for you or your loved ones — disappear from your field of vision.
They go into the SHADOW.
These are barriers that you build inside yourself.
But there is good news too!
What you admire in others exists within you
You just stopped noticing it. This means your task is to see it and understand.
Look at the list of what you admire in other people:
They can do it, which means you can too.
But there is also a flip side to this process:
What irritates you in people is also a part of you.
Hmm… Unfortunately, yes.
If you are annoyed by messy people, you will find examples in your own life where you behaved in a similar way and judged yourself for it.
See also How to Adapt to a New Place of Residence
Our environment is our mirror, especially those who annoy us. They show us our “red buttons.”
By the way, children very “beautifully” mirror our suppressed parts back to us.
For example, your child shows aggression, and it just drives you crazy… such a positive mommy has such an uncontrollable child growing up…
A mirror in its purest form: the child demonstrates the emotions that you have CRUSHED.
After all, a positive mommy is NOT supposed to experience negative emotions. And there are plenty of reasons for negativity in the current economic and political situation.
Understand this: For your well-being, it is necessary and important to reclaim all the lost fragments of yourself.
Your entire earthly incarnation is a stage of gathering the discarded parts of yourself and uniting them into a single whole.
You feel that you are strong, you are flexible. You bend, but you don’t break.
You develop a strong core. You are filled from within.
You always know that you will endure, no matter what situation you find yourself in.
An Important Emphasis for Understanding
If a person’s behavior triggers a strong emotion in you, it means there is a similar quality inside you that you simply don’t notice.
There are just facts. For example, I know that a person eats sloppily, doesn’t know how to use utensils, and might make a crude joke. I understand this, I see it.
But I also understand that people come from different social backgrounds. They had different childhoods. I understand this on an informational level.
If I want, I can limit contact with them. Or not invite them to places where people from a different circle will be, where I might feel uncomfortable in that person’s presence.
But I don’t have strong emotions about it. I accept it as a fact, as a given. This is what that person is like. There is no shadow here, no suppressed part of you.
See also How to Learn to Accept and Why It Is Important
Nothing hooks me. I simply see the fact. I make certain decisions based on this fact.
It is my choice. I don’t accept this. But I don’t try to re-educate this person.
For example, your relative loves to tell lewd jokes at appropriate and inappropriate times, and it’s useless to explain to them that you are meeting with your girlfriends and no one needs dirty jokes with swear words.
You simply don’t invite them to your women’s gathering. And that’s it?!
But if this character trait causes a wave of indignation and resentment in you: “What a parasite he is! How can he do that?! We are women?!” — this is a signal.
A signal from your suppressed part: Pay attention to me. I am here!
And the reasons for such a reaction will most likely lead you back to your childhood.
See also 11 Signs of a Victim State. Checklist
Childhood Years — The Reason for Abandoning Yourself
Remember those terrible two or three years, as psychologists call them, when a child starts expressing their individuality.
See also “Good Girl” or The Woman Who Creates?
A good girl was taught to obey her elders. There is always someone who knows what is “right.” First – parents, grandparents. Then – teachers, bosses, husbands…
At the turn of 2-3 years old, a child develops their sense of self, their individuality.
For example, they try to put different shoes on different feet. A rubber boot on one foot, a regular shoe on the other. And they plan to go outside like that.
That’s one way of expressing individuality.
And at this moment, it is critically important how the parents react to the child’s behavior.
Will they allow the child to go outside like that?
By the way, the boot story — this is not a made-up tale. In the life of my acquaintances, when the child dressed like that, the mom said: “Well, okay. Do you understand that this will be uncomfortable, or not? Go ahead.”
The child went outside. Walked around for five minutes. Realized that walking in one boot and one shoe is impossible. Came back inside. That’s it! Problem solved.
And even if they had walked around like that. It was their choice, their opportunity to express their individuality.
Our parents, during our own childhood, followed certain rules of life in society.
And they “pressured” their children, forcing them to follow rules invented by someone else.
What did this lead to in the end? You REJECTED a part of yourself.
Not because it was BAD. But because it was INCONVENIENT.
In this example, inconvenient for your parents.