If you have been deceived or treated unfairly, what should you do, how can you prove your rights while preserving yourself, and at the same time avoid embarking on a path of self-destruction?
In this article, we have gathered questions and answers on this topic. Read on to find out whether it is worth going to court to punish scammers, “extract” due alimony, or recover unpaid wages.
Punishing scammers through court. Pay attention to the inner motive
Question: “What if I want to punish scammers through court? Everyone around me says to forget this situation, but I want to take action…”
You don’t actually want to take action; you need to sort out your motives before going to court.
Your motive is not very pleasant. What good is there in punishing? Nothing. Based on your motives, you will later reap what you sow.
Before going to court to file a lawsuit against an employer, for alimony, or anything else, remove all grievances from within yourself. If you succeed, if you have worked through all the grievances and are clean inside, then your case will most likely be successful.
But would there be any point in filing a lawsuit if you remove all your grievances? Most likely not.
One of the lessons “embedded” in such situations is to learn to defend your interests and rights. But who is stopping you from protecting your interests and rights without grievances or negativity toward people?
If your rights have been violated, you know it, and you proceed without that inner turmoil, in a calm state, with great respect for the choices of people who play such strange games.
It feels as if everyone lives constantly with grievances and only understands grievances, and when there are no grievances, it means you’ve folded your paws and are doing nothing.
What to do if you have been deceived
If you have been deceived, look for the reasons why you allowed yourself to be deceived and what inside you so desperately wanted and asked for the deception.
If a person ends up in a situation where they have been deceived, money stolen, the main reason is that you wanted to be deceived, you asked for it very much.
The question is — why did you need this? When it involves money, most often the motive beforehand was to save everywhere. So the universe arranged it — save.
Therefore, the first point is to look at what inside you is sitting there that demands deception, that believes you will grow from it, and what exactly that growth is worth. For some, it may be acceptance, forgiveness.
And the second step is to go prove you are right, but without resentment or claims. When you do this without claims, everything works wonderfully. It is just that not in all situations do you want to go and achieve something without claims. The energy dissolves, and there is simply no desire to do it.
We invite you to the transformation seminar “Dance with the Shadow 3.0”, where you can work through shadow aspects, those parts of you that you do not realize — repressed, alienated feelings, emotions, and personal qualities.
Is it worth taking revenge on the offender
Comment: “So you can simultaneously understand yourself and take revenge on the offender”
Revenge is a low-vibration emotion. The further we move along vibrations, everything that is not love will be poison.
Guess for yourself who you are poisoning with your emotions, thoughts, negativity? That person does not care. You are poisoning yourself.
No trial goes quickly; it takes a year or two. During that time, you will simply poison yourself with your emotions.
Everything that is not love is now being destroyed. And the further we go into this new reality, the more this will manifest in life. State institutions and political systems will crumble. Everything that is not love will fall.
But it begins with ordinary people, in ordinary situations, and only you make the choice of what you cultivate within yourself: a piece of shit or a sprout of love.
The entire Keys of Mastery project is about cultivating a sprout of love within yourself, but no one is stopping you from going in a different direction. Your will be done.
We have lived for so many years in these familiar patterns, in these stereotypes, walking along well-trodden paths. Therefore, when someone now decides to go a different way, it is supported by higher forces.
Even when you fail, but have a firm intention inside, you know for sure: “I don’t want to act out of revenge, or out of a need to prove something or punish,” you still take those steps in the right direction. But a huge number of people simply lie down or only talk and do nothing.
If an employer did not pay for work done
If an employer did not pay you for the work you have done, take some external steps to try to get what you have earned; also take internal steps to understand why you ended up in such a situation.
No one has repealed the rule of law. If you are in a legal relationship with your employer (you have a signed employment contract, your relationship is official), start there. Demand what is yours – in accordance with the law.
If you are in an “off-the-books” relationship with your employer, the question is for you – why do you not value yourself and take such risks.
Why do you trust those who are not worth trusting, relying on their words? Why do you prefer shadowy paths, tax evasion, and the like?
Write down all the limitations and excuses (which are actually limitations) that will come up.
Like attracts like. What you radiate, you receive. Perhaps you yourself are deceiving someone and naturally receive deception in return.
See also: What money is currently paid for. Paradigms of monetary relations
If you go to court for child support
If you go to court to punish the father for abandoning you with the child and now “let him at least support his child with money,” you will have a difficult trial.
It is important to remove your grievances. Not only you are involved here, but also your mutual child and their future life.
If it is important to you that your child maintains at least a small, thin connection with this negligent father, even though you understand he is negligent, then you will remove your grievances.
Birds do not fly with one wing. A child has one wing — the paternal line, the second — the maternal line. When you cut off the man, preventing any interaction with the child, you are cutting off their wings with your own hands.
Therefore, going to court is necessary, but the question is with what emotions. Not to punish, not to prove, but simply because it is required by law.
Motivation is important everywhere.
See also: How to free yourself from grievances in relationships
What to do with the victim position when the ex-husband reluctantly pays child support
Comment: “My ex-husband still thinks he’s paying me alimony not for our daughter’s living expenses… She even feels sorry for him and blames me, she’s almost 18. I’m fighting tooth and nail to keep our three-room apartment…”
As long as you hold on tight and don’t forgive your ex, this story will continue. In this situation, you are experiencing a huge sense of injustice.
On the energy of injustice (where you are the victim), you will never build anything.
Track your main motive. Your motive is to prove that you are right, or rather, that he is wrong.
Unfortunately, many men believe that by paying child support, they are spending money on the woman.
How to forgive and let go of a husband who left you with a child
Reframe this question as “how to forgive a person who set you free” and thank him for it.
What is wrong with this person’s action? Better ask yourself, what part of you believes he was obligated, without love, to stay with you and waste his life on a “non-life.”
Nothing works one way. When you, as an adult woman, believe you are not obligated to waste your life on someone you don’t love, that’s great—you vote for that with both hands and feet.
But the flip side—that a man has the same right—somehow causes you rejection.
If you have created an illusion for yourself (and they lived happily ever after and died on the same day), deal with your misconceptions.
See also: How to protect a child from trauma related to parental divorce
Have you had situations where you proved you were right, or your right to something, without inner resentment? What were the results?
The article is based on a broadcast from the #разговор_на_диване section titled “Building Space.” It also uses materials from the broadcasts “Separate Budget,” “Three Waves of Gaining Strength,” and “Financial Help to Parents.”