In the first part of the article on this topic, we looked at the pros and cons of civil marriage.
In this article, read about what kind of relationship can be considered conscious and how ancestral programs are activated after marriage.
Conscious Relationships
Conscious relationships are when two mature, adult people, possibly already with children, decide to live together. For them, marriage as such doesn’t matter. Whether a stamp appears in the passport or not doesn’t play a role for them.
Sometimes there are many advantages to not officially tying the knot. For example, when you haven’t divorced a previous partner. There are times when it’s simply beneficial: because of business, or for some other reason.
This is a more mature position, when the very presence, the shared living, already implies responsibility, obligations, and so on. All of this is already there, like in an “all-inclusive” package.
If this inner responsibility exists, if you have already matured and grown to this point, and you come together on these terms, then it’s no longer so important whether you went to the registry office or not.
Neither marriage, nor a wedding ceremony, nor anything colorful, bright, or airy may be needed anymore. At least, no one is building any illusions about it.
Such people live together for a long time, have children in such a union, and can live their whole lives without being officially registered. There is no need for it. Because what the stamp and official registration are supposed to provide, they already have.
See also What is partnership between a man and a woman. What factors determine it
Soul Development in Conscious Relationships
But there is an interesting nuance here.
We often encounter situations where, suddenly, out of the blue, conflicts and clashes of character begin. It’s like “diamond cutting diamond,” one battle after another.
This happens both in marriage and in just relationships. While you were dating and communicating, everything seemed wonderful. But as soon as you started living together, you suddenly begin to notice that everything you thought you already saw starts to intensify. It’s as if a devil takes over: if it’s a complaint, it becomes a colossal complaint; if it’s aggression, it’s not just a quarrel, but an expressive, aggressive outburst, and so on.
Everything multiplies many times over. This happens for one reason, especially when the decision is made consciously: for the universe, this is a direct sign that you have entered into a certain union. In this case, it’s not a deal or a contract, and the relationship isn’t officially documented from a domestic or legal standpoint, but still, the action has taken place.
Often, souls choose to grow through relationships. This is precisely why such a mechanism is built in – whatever happens, it intensifies by at least tenfold.
The point is not that everything was wonderful and then the person went bad, or that I suddenly became some kind of shrew.
So that two pebbles can wear each other smooth and learn their lesson, their weak points are amplified many times over. For some, this starts in a civil marriage, for others at the moment of official registration. In any case, it happens whenever you come together.
Let’s draw an analogy with a gear. A gear fits perfectly into another gear, with a protrusion here and a groove there, they connect with each other. Thus, this millstone turns, and working through happens.
In order for all the qualities worthy of processing and working through to be visible, they are amplified many times over. But since people often focus on the negative, most often it seems like something nasty. And conversely, something positive and good is amplified in the same way.
Once you eradicate all of this within yourself, you enter into relationships on a different level.
See also: Three Types of Relationships. Do Ideal Relationships Exist?
Activation and Healing of Ancestral Programs
From a spiritual perspective, it is believed that after the stamp is placed in the passport, the activation of ancestral programs occurs. This happens for everyone.
This was the reason why I was categorically against marriage for many years. I learned about ancestral programs when I was about 17-18 years old. My first relationship was not registered; it was a civil marriage, precisely because I did not want to activate such programs.
This activation is encoded at the level of the collective unconscious.
As soon as you officially register, or if you are abroad, get married in a church, at that moment your lineage connects. This happens even for those who were previously disconnected from their lineage, for example, those who did not know their father and mother, or did not maintain relationships with relatives.
At that moment, all the programs that were passed down to you from the 7th generation are activated.
For example, getting married early, or everyone getting divorced, having short-lived relationships, and so on. Moreover, if this has happened repeatedly and to many family members, the ancestral program itself encodes short relationships, which are consequently conflict-ridden, otherwise there would be no reason to leave them.
Women sometimes have a different program — that they are abandoned, that they get pregnant and are abandoned, that is, they marry early, live together for a year or two, and the man leaves, and then they cannot find a husband and live in solitude.
These are global programs that are easy to notice, but programs vary: regarding raising children, regarding how to earn money… And all of this is encoded at the level of genetic memory, which is passed down from generation to generation.
While you are not married, these programs affect you, but you are only working with your own programs. The moment the stamp appears in your passport, you connect to the programs of your husband or wife.
This is the answer to the question — why so much changes right after the stamp is placed in the passport.
Although it gives a feeling of security, it also implies greater responsibility. This is precisely why the first year is the most difficult; people are getting used to each other.
Besides the difficulty of adjusting and interacting with each other, there are also these little programs. It’s no coincidence that people talk about the 3-year crisis, when many marriages fall apart, according to sociological research. Because not only what was within you gets activated, but also the programs from your partner’s side. And they can be completely opposite.
And then a person who was perfectly sane suddenly goes crazy out of the blue. Not only are all qualities amplified and your “weak spots” illuminated so you can “rub along,” but a huge ancestral egregore also gets involved.
As for me, in my current relationship we realized it was more beneficial for us to get married — I had absolutely no doubts about it because now I have the knowledge.
Other people’s programs have no influence on me at the moment; at one time I was very afraid of this because I saw what was happening around me.
Now they don’t activate; I’ll even say the opposite: now, in my mature age, since I am “big and strong” and have enough knowledge, I can direct my attention to the little programs that exist in the family on the other side, so that the situation there can harmonize.
You live your whole life with your own little programs, somehow working through them, but the programs from the other side — they aren’t yours, they’re someone else’s, you’re not prepared for them at all, and there might be things there you’ve never encountered.
How to Work with a Program
First, you need to see it. If nothing has changed for you, if your relationship is the same as it was, or if everything is wonderful as is, don’t do anything, don’t touch it. “Better is the enemy of good” — there’s a saying I completely agree with.
We start the process of working on anything if the result is dire, or if we want something different, not when things are good and we try to change them for something better.
When you really see that your partner’s behavior has suddenly changed a lot, or you are about to enter a relationship and see that something very strange for you is happening in your husband’s family, then you need to direct a little attention there: what is happening, what kind of relationship is there between the man and woman, and what, for example, were the relationships of the relatives.
Usually, such things are easily revealed in everyday conversations. And if you see that there is some powerful program that plays out again and again, and you don’t want its influence, don’t want to let it into your life, then the first step is to see it. And if you understand you don’t need it, perform any ceremony, any ritual.
You can do balancing, you can forgive, there is a specific program for working with the family line, but whatever you do within yourself, don’t forget that you have a connection with spirit, you have guides, helpers who lead you and give you hints.
Catch that moment when you are in a great state, set it up beautifully with candles, music, aromatherapy oils, just turn it into a beautiful sacred ceremony.
Turn to your Higher Self, to your spirit; if you are working through a situation regarding your husband’s family line, invite his Higher Self. You can invite the souls of all relatives — through the Higher Self you are connected to all of them — and ask to cleanse this program so that it has no influence on you.
To heal the program, use practices from the free course “Basic Tools of Transformation”
How to Help Your Family Line and Your Past Self
If at this stage you are sufficiently aware, feeling your power, your potential — no one is stopping you from redirecting the acquired energy to heal a program in the past.
Send yourself help and a hint into the past. First, you will feel your multi-dimensionality, that you can influence not only the future but also the past, and see how this energy flows from you.
Forgiveness, blessing, gratitude, letting go, purification — you can direct any cleansing energy. Recall some difficult moments — send cleansing energy to those moments that were important back then.
If suddenly a situation that happened with your grandmother, aunt, or uncle comes to mind — send that energy there.
You have another function besides cleansing and trying to transform yourself: you can send this Light so that it helps everyone. So that later your own children, born in marriage, won’t have to face this program again. He or she will also have to enter into relationships later.
Let’s sum it up. Whether you have a stamp in your passport — whether you live in a civil marriage or are officially registered — the essence of the relationship doesn’t change much.
In any state, with the right agreement, with the ability to express your feelings, share your emotions, and what concerns you — relationships in any case will not depend on either the stamp or the civil marriage.
You need to be able to negotiate about everything, talk, learn to accept the difference between male and female thinking, but keep in mind that when there is an official stamp, there is a possibility of connecting to the ancestral egregore. You now know how to deal with it.
Did ancestral programs activate for you after getting married?
This article is based on a webinar for clients “Civil Marriage or a Stamp in the Passport”