When troubles in life repeat with a certain regularity, it means the person is attracting these problems themselves through patterned actions and habitual ways of reacting.
A person shapes the circumstances in their life by making choices.
Through their actions and thoughts, they themselves lead to the place where they currently are.
People want to break out of the vicious cycle, but old destructive behavioral patterns prevent them from doing so.
The tendency to act in a certain way stops them from reaching a different level of life.
If you want to qualitatively improve your life, the only way is to replace your old habits with new ones.
In this article, we will look at how to change an outdated behavioral pattern so that your future becomes better than the position you are in now.
Three key components that will help change old destructive behavioral patterns
1. The Highest Choice
At every moment, in any situation, learn to make the choice that will lead to the best possible unfolding of events.
The ability to make the highest choice, especially in serious situations, is the state of awareness.
Let’s say an unpleasant conversation happened with a person. You can take offense, as most women do, or show aggression, attacking the person in response to their inappropriate behavior.
But the highest choice in this situation would be to not get involved. To switch in time to the position of an observer.
Use two simple meditations that will help you avoid getting drawn into conflict situations.
Learn not to take everything that happens and is said personally. Understand that the event may have nothing to do with you personally.
Often, the understanding of the highest choice comes only after the event has happened.
But even if these realizations come later, after some time, it is already a breakthrough, because you were able to see a different solution.
This means that if you find yourself in a similar situation another time, you will be able to slow down, stop, and make a conscious choice.
Most people, however, unconsciously continue to get drawn into the game of “energy ping-pong.”
If you managed not to react automatically in a difficult situation, pause, mentally say “stop.”
Take a deep breath in and out into the solar plexus and ask yourself: Will my reaction be the highest choice for me right now?
With the help of the Creating the Highest Reality meditation, you can absorb the sensations of your highest expression of self, so that in daily life you can tune into this vibration and make the highest choice.
In situations where you are one of the participants, not the main actor, sometimes it is enough to press pause and let events unfold on their own.
To stop feeding this powerful flow with negative thoughts that will appear in your head at great speed.
Without your fuel in the form of worry, events will unfold in the most magical way.
Pressing pause and letting the situation happen without your participation is also a manifestation of the highest choice.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is not to dive emotionally into experiences, confusion, and confrontations, but to maintain your balance.
Let’s say you’re facing a choice: keep your family or lose it, move to a new job or stay at the old one.
You can’t guarantee that the situation will turn out exactly the way you want it to.
Your task is to maintain your inner balance, hold onto that state, and not get involved.
When you have a clear understanding inside that this is the highest choice for you, you radiate a steady state from within.
See also: Why it’s important to let go of destructive programs, roles, and outdated emotional reactions
2. Exiting a reality you don’t want to be in
If something strongly irritates you, and you understand that it has nothing to do with you, you have the right to choose NOT to be part of what’s happening.
You make a conscious decision to disengage from that process.
If people around you are sorting things out with each other, you can either be present nearby or remove yourself.
People have every right to continue their games in destructive relationships, but it personally has nothing to do with you.
Only you choose what you want to be a part of.
If you want to remain in a state of calm and harmony, but certain circumstances or characters constantly knock you out of it, you simply must exclude yourself from that circle of communication out of self-love.
See also: If your relationship with your parents is like a minefield — why and what to do
Learn how to preserve yourself and your relationship with your parents.
Situations often arise where adult children are sorting things out with their partners, or parents are having a showdown, or siblings are dividing something up.
Acknowledge their right to these roles. In any situation, there is an agreement at the soul level for each participant to play out a certain script.
Ask yourself, do you want to be part of someone else’s script, or are you ready to make your highest choice?
Think about which situations and circumstances it’s time to remove yourself from, because deep down you don’t want to be a part of them.
Allow yourself to exist OUTSIDE the reality you refuse to be part of.
3. Acknowledgment and Release
When forgotten, worked-through destructive behavior patterns return, acknowledge that you are playing into them and let them go.
Switch into the position of an actor who clearly understands that this is a script, instead of sinking into a heavy state for a long time and sincerely believing in the reality of what’s happening.
If you’ve already replaced old, unconstructive behavior patterns driven by various traumas and problems, and suddenly you fall back into a victim state, catch yourself in that thought and acknowledge that you are an actor in this play.
At that moment, the situation turns into a theater of the absurd.
Download the booklet “The Victim State. How to Get Out of It.”
Thanks to the signs described in it, you will learn to recognize this state in yourself and discover ways to exit the victim consciousness.
You can feign offense in order to teach a child, a husband, or someone else a lesson.
Or you can speak aggressively, because a person might not understand any other way. Your words simply won’t reach them without a sharp tone; they won’t hear you otherwise.
But you personally perceive this with an inner smile, because you are not experiencing a state of resentment or aggression.
Because you don’t get stuck in the role of a victim, in suffering and torment, and you aren’t actually feeling anger.
You simply acknowledge that you are an actor in this situation. You play the part and release the intensity of emotions, without scandals or reproaches.
This helps you take many things less seriously.
See also How to Go Beyond the Limitations of the Mind
After you have recognized old patterns in your behavior, write down a new algorithm for your actions.
How to Write a New Algorithm of Actions
Identify Your Red Buttons
Analyze what tripped you up, what you reacted to, what became the trigger: the timbre of the voice, the intonation, the feeling of pressure on you.
Notice that when a stranger is involved, the situation doesn’t hook you much, but with a loved one, it causes insane resistance.
Stop at the Right Moment
Knowing your triggers, you are able to catch the very moment of the turning point and prevent an undesirable development of events.
When you stop yourself, a five-second delay appears. And this time is enough to make a different choice.
Consciously Choose New Behavior
What matters is how you react to the situation. Because your behavior either fills you or drains your energy.
You can behave the same way as before, but this time you are making a conscious choice.
For example, you can take offense.
But not because your weak feminine nature dictates it, but because you made a conscious choice — to teach someone a lesson through your offense.
Here, an element of play appears, and the focus shifts to teaching.
The ways of playing out events will be different, depending on how you reacted.
The Meditation for Releasing OLD Behavior Patterns is aimed at helping you see the highest choice in any situation and follow it, to acknowledge and release old behavior patterns.
Use these tools in your daily life, and your life will undoubtedly change, because new behavior patterns always lead to new results.