Remember when you’ve met people in life who could look completely ordinary, but they radiated a rock-solid strength and confidence, and you didn’t want to contradict them?
Such people are a minority.
Others are drawn to them, some try to find out their “secret to a happy life” to apply it to themselves.
These people are leaders who have a well-developed inner core. They know how to listen to themselves and possess strong intuition. Would you like to become such a person?
Then, read this material.
The downsides of lacking a strong inner core:
So, without an inner core:
- It’s easy to become a victim of manipulators, narcissists, or dissolve into another person;
- A person gets tossed around on the shores of life in different directions, like a ship that doesn’t know where it’s sailing. Their environment involves them to achieve their own goals, not theirs, and also uses them;
- It’s easy to fall for the hook of guilt and the desire to save everyone;
- A person is lazy and apathetic;
- It’s easy to become addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, or relationships (codependent relationships);
- There is a lack of selfhood and a personal ‘I’, the person tends to imitate others, seek teachers, and shift responsibility.
Are you cultivating the strength of your energy?
This is supported by austerities, meditations, cold water dousing, eating plant-based food, drinking plenty of water, yoga, contact with nature, solitude, pranayama, prayers, and visiting holy places.
Also read: Why it’s so hard to free yourself from the influence of others’ opinions
You will learn how you harm yourself by being subject to the influence of others’ opinions.
A person with a strong inner core
Let’s create an approximate portrait of a person with a “strong inner core”:
- Self-confident, believes in themselves. They know that if something didn’t work out, you need to try another 1,000,000 times. They don’t need cheap self-affirmation.
They understand that they are a unique personality and there is no other person exactly like them in the world.
They possess adequate self-esteem and integrity, self-acceptance. And if everyone around them stops believing in them, they will never stop believing in themselves.
Confident, but not arrogant. When they have the ability and desire to help, they will do it.
- Knows where they are going. They have a certain mission in their life, a will. They are focused on their goals. They are the master and creator of their own life.
They know how to separate the essential from the unimportant and stick to their routine. They are responsible.
- Possesses wisdom, prudence, and the ability to control their emotions.
They know how to analyze situations and live through them in a way that extracts the maximum from the experience, becoming an increasingly wise person.
- Their energy is strong, they seem to glow. People are drawn to them like a magnet, trying to imitate and copy them. Inner strength helps them grow.
- Has their own principles and values and follows them.
He knows what is bad for him and what is good. These principles guide him forward and give him self-respect.
At the same time, he does not impose these principles on anyone and does not give unsolicited advice.
He allows other people to be themselves and make their own mistakes, respecting their choices. But at the same time, he himself makes choices based on his principles. He acts with integrity.
- Flexible, because he knows how quickly the world and the processes within it are changing now.
And if he didn’t have flexibility, we would most likely call him “stubborn” and “rigid.”
He is able to accept someone else’s opinion if he sees that it can help or take him to a new level. He admits his mistakes and learns from them.
See also Why it’s important to be flexible and how to learn it
5 tips on how to learn flexibility.
How to develop an inner core
Write down the answers in a notebook:
- What is my life’s mission and purpose?
- Do I have a strategy and a plan for my movement?
- Am I trying to assert myself at the expense of others?
- Do I only communicate with people of lower status to feel like the king of the swamp?
- When something doesn’t work out for me, do I try again and again, testing different strategies, without giving up?
- Am I comfortable when others behave this way around me?
- And what do I want right now?
- What bad habit can I start giving up today?
- What promises have I not kept?
- Am I helping now from the position of a rescuer, out of guilt, or because I truly want to?
- Do I analyze situations from the perspective: what valuable lesson did this give me? What experience can I gain for the future? What lesson was the creator teaching me through this person? Am I acting with integrity right now?
See also 5 factors that block your power
Find phrases for yourself that match your values and mission, and keep them constantly in a visible place. On the mirror, for example.
Write down your 10 positive and 10 negative qualities, look at them, and finally, stop fighting them and accept them.
These practices will help you find strength within yourself.
See also Self-belief as the foundation of your life
Self-belief is like acknowledging the fact of our existence. That we exist, that we have qualities, that we represent value, that we can do something…
As you can see, an inner core is not just brute strength, but the ability to combine principle and flexibility; honesty with the understanding of when to stay silent; confidence with responsiveness to others.
Having clear boundaries and not letting anyone cross them, while at the same time being kind and pleasant to communicate with.
Accepting yourself in balance: both the negative, the positive, and the shadow sides.
Being around such people feels safe.
And the best part — you can develop your inner core!