In our society, it is customary to help the suffering, the sick, and the elderly. A sense of compassion, kindness, and generosity is cultivated from childhood, while callousness and indifference are condemned.
And in this matter, we again see a manifestation of duality: good versus bad, one opposed to the other.
Because of this, many people place social duty above their own desires and needs, without realizing the inner motives behind their help to others.
It is good if there is a sincere desire to help, but what if you do not feel like helping at the moment or do not have the opportunity? If I do not help, what will people think? What should I do?
In this article, we will look at three principles of helping other people, by adhering to which you will be able to help without harming yourself.
Three principles of helping other people
Principle #1 — Sincere desire
Help those you see, you know, the one who is in front of you.
Nowadays, cases of fraud are very common, when on the internet, on social networks, people write and post photos of sick children. People help without knowing whether it is true or not. They get involved where they should not.
Help those you want to help, not out of a sense of duty or guilt. Be aware of what lies behind your motive.
If it falls directly within your line of sight, and you have a desire to help, then help.
See also Your true “why”: how motive determines the direction of life
Principle #2 — Being filled
If there is a disabled child in your environment, or you are passing by an elderly woman in an underpass, help. But with one condition — if you have the opportunity.
Many people help when they cannot afford to. They give to their own detriment.
If all your basic needs are met, if you allow yourself small treats and joys, if you set aside part of your money to create a safety net, and after that you still have funds left, then help.
The principle is to help from a place of fullness, from sufficiency, from abundance. But for the most part, that is not how it happens.
If you dig a little deeper, it turns out that you are depriving yourself in order to fulfill a social obligation, taking the last piece of bread from yourself.
See also The Five Laws of Abundance
Make these five simple truths your habit, and you will learn the law of abundance.
Principle #3 — Give and Forget
Another principle of helping other people is to help without expecting gratitude or help in return.
Those you help owe you nothing. You help when you have an inner need to do so, while expecting nothing in return.
Help is when you give and forget. For everything else, there are other names, but not “help.”
You help when you have the opportunity and the desire.
See also The Sense of Belonging as a Criterion for Intervening in Someone Else’s Situation
If You Don’t Feel Like Giving or Helping
Sometimes people ask for help, but you don’t want to give. The first cosmic law is the law of fair energy exchange, the key word being “fair.”
First you give, and then you receive, but you give not only money, but also energy and gratitude.
What happens when you give and give, but receive nothing in return? Those you helped develop a sense of expectation that you supposedly owe them help. And if you stop giving, they begin to demand and judge you.
Behind any actions, there are always motives. Identify the motives for why you help. If you cannot determine them right away, write them down and “sit” with it. The universe will surely respond with signals and information.
See also: How to stop sacrificing yourself without being selfish
Read to understand the reasons why you sacrifice your time and resources, and how to give up such behavior.
If someone took more from you than you were willing to give
Sometimes there is a feeling that someone took more from you than you were ready to give. In this case, put up a firm wall so you don’t end up in the red.
If loved ones start manipulating you to stop this, do not react to manipulations like, “You are not my daughter if you don’t do such and such.” Agree with your mother, but do not give in.
If elderly parents manipulate you, accept them as they are. They are no longer up to enlightenment. They have fulfilled their function before the world: they gave birth to you, raised you, and released you into the world.
Once you do this, the next step will come very easily. If it suits you, you continue communicating; if it does not, you inform them that you are ending the communication. When you accept your relatives and the situation, this decision will give you the freedom you currently lack.
Let me give you an example from my own life.
There was a situation, a long time ago, when the Keys of Mastery project was contacted by an orphanage asking for help. My readers and I, those who wanted to, collected and transferred money, and we received a report. Everyone was happy. The next year they contacted us again, and there was a feeling that we were now obligated.
To avoid getting into such situations when you help, immediately clarify that this is a one-time assistance. Whether you will be able to help tomorrow, you do not know, but right now you are in a position to help.
See also How to stop adjusting to loved ones and achieve understanding
If you can’t shake the feeling that you are forever indebted
A coin always has two sides. If you don’t owe anyone anything, then no one owes you anything either.
The government doesn’t owe you anything, your husband, children, people you resent don’t owe you anything. If you accept this, then you will get rid of the feeling that you yourself owe something.
If there is one side, always look at the other side. And then there will be no discord inside.
If you think you owe everyone, analyze where you think they owe you. Look at the motives behind it.
See also How to find balance between grievances and recognizing your own worth
And do you always help others from a place of fullness and of your own free will?
The article is based on materials from the broadcast “Partnership. Part 2” from the #conversation_on_the_couch section