At the Keys of Mastery, many processes and aspects of life are viewed primarily from a spiritual perspective.
In this article, we offer the basics of raising children, and to make them understandable for you, we will also consider the background — how a child’s soul chooses its parents.
How a child’s soul chooses its parents
According to information from Steve Rother’s books, a child’s soul chooses one of the parents 18 months before its birth.
The soul is outside the body. It is a mature, wise entity that has no illusory veil, no ego. It resides in the spiritual world until it enters the material world.
The soul enters the material world with the child’s first cry at birth. Before incarnating into a body, the soul makes a conscious choice about whom it will come to.
There is a certain lesson to be learned or a skill to be mastered. For example, by choosing a very domineering parent, a child learns to claim their own power.
According to information from Michelle Eloff’s channel, the first daughter comes to the father, which is why she often resembles her father and carries his programs. The first son comes to the mother.
Unequivocally — before incarnation, the child’s soul chooses one person (a parent). For this reason, after a divorce, a child may, to the mother’s surprise, prefer to stay with the father.
As a rule, it is the mother who cares for the child and invests in them, while the father mostly just “is present” in the child’s life.
Nevertheless, the child came to the father; they have a contract with him, so they choose to stay with the father, which is normal.
The second son comes to the father, and if a divorce happens, the first son may stay with the mother, since he came to her, while the second child stays with the father.
From the perspective of spiritual psychology, this phenomenon is normal.
Some women are able to sense the presence of a child’s soul nearby (conception) literally within minutes after sexual intercourse.
When you have a strong attunement with the soul, you clearly know that this soul has come to you.
Some men are also able to sense (know) this presence. Such sensations go beyond the usual understanding of the nature of things. They cannot be explained in words.
It is like a certain knowledge, when you simply know that it is so.
When you engage in unprotected sex and you, as a woman, are firmly convinced that you do not need to become pregnant, even if the child’s soul is nearby at that moment, your firm willful choice determines the outcome.
See also 8 Lessons of Motherhood, or How to Use Maternity Leave for Spiritual Development
Dramas of Parenthood as Points of Growth
In cases of miscarriage or abortion, the child fulfills its contract – to come for a (short) time and leave. Sometimes children incarnate to stay for two or three days and then leave.
Children agree to this from the outset and thereby fulfill their mission. Thus, the soul brings its energy to Earth and departs.
It is another matter how parents accept such a choice of the child’s soul. With all the desire, the human maternal heart is unable to accept this.
This is a point of tremendous growth for the mother/father.
Other such points of growth for parents include the arrival of disabled children, the loss of a child due to medical errors, etc.
No matter how wise a parent who finds themselves in such a situation may be, it is natural and inevitable for them to develop feelings of guilt, blame, grievances, etc.
One thing is certain: such situations are powerful points of growth.
If you decide to have an abortion, you can talk to the child’s soul and explain your choice. This would be a more environmentally friendly way out of the situation.
See also How the soul plans life lessons. Is everything up to your choice
The child’s soul influences the parents’ life before its birth
There is an opinion that the child’s soul begins to adjust the parents’ life “to suit itself”.
A woman becomes pregnant, and many things in her life begin to change. For example, the expectant mother suddenly starts standing up for her rights where she never did before.
Or she was never drawn to nature before, but suddenly it becomes important, and she wants to move to live in the countryside. This is how the influence of the child’s soul manifests.
It is already nearby, not yet incarnated, but it has more power, it is close, causing matter to “bend,” and the person feels an urge for certain changes in life.
For example, a future parent may feel a desire to change jobs or to ensure that prosperity appears. In this sense, it can be said that the child’s soul influences the parents’ life.
I wanted a boy. I was a very pragmatic person, and I calculated that supporting a boy, from a financial point of view, is many times easier than a girl.
Since I was a single mother and had no husband in sight, I wanted a boy.
But one night, waking up, I found that I was talking to the child as if it were a boy, and it was answering me like a girl.
See also Soul and morality. Why the soul chooses negative experience and how to relate to it
Given all the above, the question arises of how to raise children. I propose the following foundations for their upbringing.
Three foundations (plus 1) in raising children
First foundation of upbringing: communicating with a child – only as equals
It is important for the future mother to remain in a state of harmony, since during pregnancy there is already a direct connection with the child.
During this time, you are laying the foundation for your future interaction.
While the baby is in the womb, you are already beginning to build honest interaction (mom feels good now or mom feels bad now, but don’t worry, we’ll fix everything, etc.).
This way, you initially lay the foundation for dialogue as equals.
For some reason, after the child is born, adults begin to perceive them as an unconscious and helpless being that cannot do or understand anything.
Reasoning this way, parents start to train-tame the child, pressure them, and mold them to their own ideas.
When you talk to your child during pregnancy, remember, you communicate with them as equals.
What suddenly changes with their birth?
It is important to preserve this state/feeling of “as equals” after the child is born.
Whatever questions you may have regarding raising and interacting with children, immediately pay attention to where/in what you are not on equal footing with your children.
Many problems in relationships with children stem from parental egoism – “I am the mother, I am an adult, they must listen to me.”
If you, as a parent, have many complaints about your child, use a simple and effective technique:
- transfer all your complaints about the child to a random adult;
- try saying all the same things to him;
- track your reaction.
Do adults communicate and react this way among themselves? In 80% of cases – no.
Everything else is your parental ego.
You cannot know what is best for your child. You are not God, who knows all the contracts of your child’s soul.
See also New Children – Who They Are. How to Help Them Adapt to the World
The Second Basis of Upbringing: Create Conditions for Your Child’s Self-Expression, or Do Not Interfere
From a spiritual perspective, the most important thing parents can give is to create conditions for the child to express themselves.
If you as a parent cannot create conditions – do not interfere. By doing so, you will fully fulfill your parental function 100%.
Do not prevent your child from growing – from stepping on their own rakes and becoming a person.
The child’s soul is always more advanced than its parents. This advanced soul comes to Earth with a specific purpose.
Unlike their parents, a child up to 3-4 years old remembers why they came (until parents knock this memory out of them).
Therefore, young children can talk about fairies or how they communicate with invisible friends. Toddlers see the spiritual world and the astral plane, some remember their past incarnations.
When faced with such experiences, frightened parents try to “treat” their child, and then the child begins to doubt their abilities.
Therefore, it is important for parents to create conditions for the child to open up, or simply not to interfere.
In life, the opposite often happens: most parents try to fulfill through their child what they themselves did not receive in childhood.
See also Modern Children and Social Adaptation
Living by the principles of mindfulness and spirituality, you try to incorporate them into raising your children. But if you can create a harmonious environment for your child within the family, what do you do about society?
Should you send your child to regular educational institutions or develop outside the system?
The Third Foundation of Upbringing: Accept All of Your Child’s Creations
The culture of the post-Soviet space has its own specifics and differs from what happens in other countries.
Many years ago, I worked as an English teacher at a school.
And then one day, the idea for a project was born – to exchange New Year’s cards with Japanese schoolchildren. This incident became a lesson for me for life.
We got in touch with a school in Japan, exchanged addresses, and got to work. The children happily embraced the idea of creating cards and began to draw.
When the parents found out that their children’s drawings and cards would be sent to Japan, they started drawing together with their children, guided by the principle “so that my child doesn’t lose face and show what an unskilled artist he is.”
I liked this idea, and I even involved my older students who attended art school. Together, we touched up the little ones’ cards and made them presentable.
Everything was packed and sent to Japan. In response, we received cards from Japanese children, who drew them as best they could.
None of the adults there even thought of correcting or “tweaking” anything in them, because these were the children’s creations. They drew them as best they could.
After some time, we received a photo report from Japan about an exhibition of drawings by children from the Russian hinterland, along with enthusiastic responses about how magnificently the children there draw.
This experience clearly demonstrates how we correct and fail to appreciate our children’s creations.
Everyone is familiar with the typical patterns of upbringing in our culture: “Let me tie your shoelaces myself, you’re not doing it well”; “You’re hammering the nail wrong, let me show you how it’s done,” and so on.
This approach underlies child-rearing, starting from preschool age.
Another fundamental aspect of raising children, which also plays a significant role, can be identified.
See also: What children with developmental disabilities teach us
The fourth foundation of upbringing: neutralize the grandmother
Our parents grew up in the Soviet Union; that era left its mark on them, with beliefs that do not align with today’s realities.
Therefore, if you don’t want your child to absorb the grandmother’s beliefs and fears, neutralize her or them.
Raise your child as you see fit, and do not adapt to the grandmothers’ opinions.
And if you yourself are a grandmother, ask yourself whether your daughter or daughter-in-law has to neutralize you?
See also: Should we worry about the future of children? The role and influence of the new generation on current reality
Now you have the opportunity to look at your relationships with children from a metaphysical perspective. Share your insights in the comments. What was a revelation for you?
The article is based on a broadcast from the #conversation_on_the_couch section “Three Foundations in Raising Children”