“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”
Matthew 18:3
The other day, I came across a touching story. “A four-year-old boy, whose elderly neighbor had recently lost his wife, saw the man crying, walked into his yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his mom asked what he had said to the neighbor, the boy replied: ‘Nothing. I just helped him cry.’
It so happens that as people grow up, they lose the crystal-clear purity of their perception of the world, becoming weighed down by conditioning and social dogmas.
Have you noticed how children live out their nature?
They are spontaneous, funny, sad, or joyful, but they are completely immersed in that state, fully experiencing the moment.
You can’t force them to love you or give you attention if they don’t want to in that moment.
You can only marvel at their ability to sympathize and empathize with the states of loved ones — little ones come up and hug you, or take your face in their hands and look into your eyes.
And in that action, there is so much expressed love and recognition of themselves and the other. There is no manipulation in it; children live out their inner truth instinctively, just as they feel right now.
What is inner truth, and why do adults — grown-up children — lose the value of this basic quality of life? How can we return to a childlike perception of the world?
Let’s try to figure it out.
What is inner truth
A human is a social being, and as we grow up, societal pressure intensifies, responsibility for existence increases, and along with it come the values of society, egregores, family, friends, and colleagues.
Staying true to yourself is akin to rebellion, which is unacceptable in an “ideal society.” And swimming against the current, going against the herd, defies common sense.
This is embedded at a genetic level — one person alone is no warrior. In ancient times, when a tribe moved from place to place, they left the weak and frail behind. And that meant certain death, either from wild animals or from cold and hunger.
So, as we grow up, at a certain point we give in to societal influence and go along with the tribe on the path of avoiding fear, betraying ourselves and our essence.
But throughout history, there have always been people who live out their nature — wild, passionate, or calm — their inner truth, their true states. And such people changed the world. Like Danko with his burning heart.
And within each of you, there is this blazing fire and this living out of your inner truth. A state of connection with your nature, experiencing a feeling in the moment, without identifications, ideas, or fantasies about life.
This is a compass, a guiding star to yourself and your true fulfillment. And that means — living in harmony with yourself and the world around you, realizing the experience that is needed right now.
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How to return to a childlike perception of the world and live in accordance with your true nature
If you want to reach a pure state of deep attunement with yourself, then:
1. Allow yourself to feel
After experiencing painful moments in life without entering into them fully, your heart closes off to avoid repeating painful situations, and the childlike perception of the world is lost.
It’s like armor you put on, having once decided to renounce your feelings. Yes, in this state little can cause you pain, but little can bring you total pleasure either.
On top of that, by not allowing yourself to experience the full spectrum of sensory experience, you don’t fully live your life.
Therefore, the first basic stage is to consciously allow yourself to begin feeling everything and start recognizing the states you are experiencing.
See also Emotional Immaturity. How to Move from Emotions to Feelings
This article will help you identify what stage of emotional maturation you are at. Use the recommendations to learn how to express your feelings.
2. Allow yourself to meet fear and pain and live through suppressed states
When you allow yourself to feel, the first things that arise are unlived, suppressed states.
It’s akin to having a storage room you haven’t looked into for a long time. And all you’ve done is occasionally toss things into it.
Try to feel this image. What is your storage room like? How much dust and dirt has accumulated there? What have the things you threw in there turned into?
And so, at one moment, you decide to open it. What do you think will happen?
Perhaps you will smell the stale odor of a space without air, perhaps some things will fall out on you. Visualize and accept what you see.
This space is you, suppressed, not having lived your essence.
Every unlived experience is stored like clutter in such a storage room inside your body, settling in it as blocks and illnesses. It settles inside and doesn’t let you breathe fully.
Therefore, it is important to clear the space of suppressed feelings, to live through them. Through accepting the value of fear and pain, through acknowledging every one of your experiences, through physical exercise and subtle listening to yourself.
It’s time to stop running from pain and acknowledge its value.
This is a fairly intense process, and at the first stage, fear arises. Fear of the very essence of pain. After all, you’ve been running from it for so long. But there is no other way. All that’s needed is to take the first step.
Fear always guards your strength, and by acknowledging fear, you can step into it.
The meditation “Liberation from Pain” will help your body release negative emotions associated with the past.
Ho’oponopono is an effective practice for interacting with pain, fear, and guilt; it promotes the acknowledgment of all experiences in your life.
The key phrase of the practice is: “The world begins with me!”. Phrases that allow you to take total responsibility for your life:
- I am sorry (acknowledging responsibility for everything happening in life).
- Thank you (gratitude to the universe for your existence, for what you have).
- I love you (addressed to everything and everyone, to every moment and every person you meet on your path).
- Please forgive me (addressed to the higher Self, to yourself).
Say these phrases consciously, living them with your feelings, as often as possible.
3. Meet your inner child and recognize your true feelings and desires
As you clear your space from grievances, fears, and regrets, you will begin to feel your true needs and desires.
You will be able to create your life based on a subtle listening to yourself, you will start to recognize your essence, living it easily and joyfully, because this is you — an adult whose inner child, with their truth, is acknowledged.
But it happened that due to experience, every inner child was traumatized, and below I share a practice for establishing a connection with them.
Sit comfortably, close your eyes, take a few conscious deep breaths in and out. Dive deeper into yourself, feel how your heart beats, how the air fills your body, how tension leaves with each exhale.
Try to relax as much as possible, shifting your attention from the outer world inward.
Try to find, with your inner vision, the place where your child lives. Focus as much as possible on the details, on this space.
What surrounds them? How old is the child? What toys and household items are in their room?
Now try to see the inner child. What state is this girl/boy in? Are they silent or joyful and open to communication? What weighs on them?
Come as close as possible. Listen to what they tell you. Perhaps you will hear a dialogue or see images, allow this to happen.
Direct the energy of love into the transmitted images or memories. Hug yourself-as-a-child and tell them that they are loved, that everything is fine, that they can be themselves and not be afraid of being punished, that they no longer need to hide.
That there is nothing you cannot forgive yourself for, and that you accept your innate nature as a whole.
Hug and become for your little self both a child and a loving parent at the same time.
Ask the child what they need, and give it to them. It might be a feeling, it might be some kind of toy. Don’t analyze what it is, just imagine that you are giving it to them.
Stay in this space for as long as necessary. Then return to the present, take a slow inhale, exhale, and open your eyes.
This practice can be repeated as many times as needed. It will be a journey to different states of yourself, at different ages. And it will bring soul healing.
If you feel the need, you can draw your inner child and pay attention to what colors you use in doing so.
In the course “Dance with the Shadow” we do intensive work on reclaiming your wholeness, get to know our inner child, and recognize and accept all parts of ourselves.
Join us!
«Be like children» — these words are brilliant in their simplicity and great in their essence. To be like a child is to rejoice in simple things, to enjoy the beauty of the world, to marvel at wonders and to delight in life.
To be a child means to be innocent, not to burden yourself with comparisons, not to judge yourself or others. It is the ability to live, not to imitate life.
It is important to establish a connection with the child within, to talk to him, to feel what state he is in, how much he is enjoying himself.
An acknowledged inner child is joy, openness to the world, spontaneity, sociability, optimism, delight, sincerity, creativity, complete self-acceptance, humility and trust in what is happening, easy giving and receiving, generosity, positivity, lightness in experiencing feelings, adaptability, unconditional love for yourself and others.
«All grown-ups were once children, but only few of them remember it» — wise words from «The Little Prince», reflecting the essence of being.
Read also How to live for your own pleasure and why you forbid yourself from it
If you feel a resonance, a need to establish a connection with your inner child, to heal your childhood traumas, use the advice in this article and begin to live your life, realizing your essence to the fullest.
Listen to yourself and express your feelings in the moment openly and clearly.
And if you feel like going up and hugging someone, do it, without thinking about how you will be understood or how accepted you are.
Just go up and hug, breathe together, become one for a moment, without conventions or prohibitions. After all, that is what children do — they feel and take action.
Children are our great teachers. Be like children!