Suppressing emotions, especially negative ones, is harmful. Blaming someone else or external circumstances for them means being in a victim state.
Read on to learn how to take back responsibility for your own state, as well as how to experience negative emotions without being poisoned by them.
Take Back Responsibility for Your Own State
It is easy to maintain harmony when you are alone with yourself and there are no external irritants.
If you get upset that others are bothering you and not letting you be alone, you are shifting responsibility from yourself onto other people. Because it is YOUR focus that slips.
In reality, when you are within yourself, you are filled, harmonious, balanced, and nothing can pull you outward, nothing.
This may be a revelation for you, but you can be harmonious even when a child is whining and screaming, when dogs are barking, and when other things are happening.
Because a harmonious state is primary. When you are in harmony, nothing external can knock you out of that state. Take back responsibility for yourself.
External factors are precisely what can force you to take responsibility for your states, your emotions, and your mood.
Therefore, if things suddenly get tough and become very difficult, look at where you are avoiding this. You don’t necessarily have to take the hard path; you can take an easier one: “Yes, I saw it. Yes, I am working on it. Yes, I understand. Yes, I will take measures.” This is a simple option.
But when you refuse to see and acknowledge it, the shadow principle kicks in.
The main thing is admitting to yourself: “I refuse to admit it, and I project it all outward — it is they who distract me, it is they who do it, it is all them.”
It is not them; it is I who lose focus, it is I who cannot immerse myself within, it is I who need some unique circumstances to do something.
But in essence, the diagnosis is simple – at that moment you are not in a harmonious, resourceful state. Therefore, each time bring the focus back to yourself, the responsibility back to yourself: “These are my thoughts.”
See also The Creator’s Level of Responsibility. How to deal with triggers and how to keep focus on the higher reality
How to live through feelings of guilt and self-pity
There are people who fall into a feeling of guilt and confuse it with responsibility.
Guilt is about emotions, shame is about actions.
The feeling of guilt and the feeling of shame are “I gave myself a failing grade, I gave myself a death sentence.” You passed judgment on yourself.
The only question is, what are you judging yourself for? For actions – shame, or for emotions, for what you feel and sense?
The most angry critic of any person is themselves. We judge ourselves. We didn’t cope. We were, for example, in an even state, and suddenly lost it: at the children, at the husband. It is precisely for this feeling of failure that you judge yourself.
But you are a living, real person in a physical body.
As soon as you become an angel, sinless, ideal, perfect, you will immediately die, because you will have nothing to do here, the meaning of being here will disappear. You will not learn anything new, and you will not grow any further.
Therefore, step by step, learn to accept yourself, both in a state of failure, and in a state of drama, and in a state of self-pity.
See also Punishment is No More, or How to Become Free from Fears of the Past
Why it is important to live through negative emotions
Negative emotions need to be lived through, because somewhere inside you there is a small part, a trembling creature, that believes you are just like that.
You cannot shut it up, otherwise it will go into the shadows and start signaling through your men, children, and loved ones, saying: “Take me back!” You cannot do that with shadow aspects.
But it is also important to limit the time spent in these emotions. Time yourself directly, when you allow yourself to whine, howl, and stay in that painful state.
Set a timer, and when it rings, switch, literally force yourself to switch if needed. For some, it is household chores; for others, it is music or sports. I, for example, force myself to do something else — my time is up.
I had a case where I was lying in self-pity once again. And something inside started giggling: “Listen, maybe that’s enough, huh? Five minutes have already passed, even ten have passed. You’ve played enough, laughed enough, cried enough. Come on, turn it off.”
I sobered up, and now I just allow myself to stay in that state for a certain amount of time.
See also Negative emotions: anger, rage, outbursts of aggression. What causes them and how to cope with them
Do not voice your complaints
It is important — not to voice your suffering to anyone, because words have a strong influence, especially for 3-D people.
When you lack energy, when you are in emotions, in fear, you have no awareness; it turns off.
But usually we start complaining in such a state, because old programs and old reflexes kick in. At that moment, your advanced part is asleep.
Therefore, learn to control yourself in such moments, restrain yourself, suppress the desire to complain.
Call and talk to your loved ones when you are in a harmonious or balanced state.
And what helps you accept, live through negative emotions, and return to a balanced state?
See also: How to stop the flow of anxious thoughts and states of worry in stressful situations
The article is based on materials from the accompanying webinar for clients of the KM Center on 01/15/2021
P.S. You can comment on the article in the Keys of Mastery Telegram channel )