What is the reason for women’s suffering on March 8th?
Last year, on the eve of the holiday, we observed a trend on social media — many beautiful, wonderful women felt unhappy and upset on this day.
We even conducted a survey among our subscribers to find out the reason.
This is where this article was born, in which I will list several myths, false beliefs associated with celebrating March 8th.
If these stereotypes are still weighing on you, read this article, and if not — share it with friends and acquaintances who feel unhappy on this day.
The article will allow you to look more broadly at many things related to your perception of yourself as a woman and your relationship with a man.
4 myths, causes of women’s suffering related to March 8th
Myth #1 — Men should congratulate women
The roots of this myth grow from childhood, or more precisely, it is an echo of Soviet upbringing.
Before, and even now I observe, children in schools and kindergartens are taught that girls congratulate boys on February 23rd, and boys congratulate girls on March 8th.
I don’t see anything bad or outdated in this. After all, this is how children are taught respect for the opposite sex and learn to show attention.
But unfortunately, this is precisely why false expectations are formed that men should congratulate women. If they don’t do this, or do it somehow wrong, then they are not gentlemen, unworthy, ill-mannered men with all that entails…
This is one of the reasons for women’s suffering. Hence the resentment and claims towards their husbands and loved ones.
See also How to overcome resentment. 7 stages of transition from resentment to wisdom — a personal story
It clearly shows what happens to you when you take offense. Only you yourself determine — to experience claims or choose joy.
What to do:
Remember the spiritual law of free will and choice, according to which neither you owe anyone anything, nor does anyone owe you.
Get rid of expectations that your husband or loved one should congratulate you, give you attention, and even in the way you imagine it.
And then any positive display of attention will bring you joy.
See also What expectations lead to and why you need to get rid of them
Expectations cause suffering, find out how to get rid of them.
Myth #2 — I can’t please myself
…and waiting for a man to cheer me up.
Many women truly suffer from this. It’s precisely because of this expectation that a man should congratulate a woman on a holiday, give her flowers and gifts, and pay her a lot of attention.
And if a woman is also without a partner, then on such a day she feels doubly sad. On this day, she especially acutely feels her loneliness, feels unwanted.
What to do:
If you catch yourself expecting a holiday from a man, or your mood depending on male attention, ask yourself, what of what you want can you do for yourself.
Buy flowers, a gift, the kind YOU want, go to a restaurant with friends, by yourself, with your man, without expecting initiative from him.
When you let go of expectations and stop depending on another person, you become free, and you are free to choose how to spend your time.
We offer 10 ways to pamper your beloved self. Choose any one, and if that’s not enough, you’ll find even more in the comments.
Myth #3 — Everyone has flowers and gifts, and I’m all alone and miserable
This applies both to those who don’t have a partner and to those who, for some reason, are dissatisfied with their man.
He bought the wrong flowers, the wrong gift, didn’t anticipate her wishes.
What to do:
Figure out what you really need: flowers or attention? Be honest with yourself.
If you want attention from your loved one, hint at it, or better yet, openly say what you want.
Well, men just can’t read our minds. And even if there are some who can, they are few and far between on Earth.
Move away from stereotypes that make you suffer from a lack of attention and from men who supposedly must give flowers on March 8th so their wife won’t be offended.
And many men aren’t against giving a bouquet, but when it turns into a cult, into an obligation, then any desire disappears.
My husband once declared for this very reason that he fundamentally didn’t want to give me flowers on March 8th, but would rather give them on the 7th, 6th, or 1st, or all week except the 8th.
Watch a few videos with Mark Gungor, who explains the differences between the female and male brain and how to find mutual understanding in relationships.
Myth #4 — There are no normal men
This belief sits in a woman’s head if she shifts responsibility for the changes in her life onto the external world. And in this case, onto men.
I had a series of failures on the personal front in my life, and one day I reached a point where I realized if I didn’t sort this out, I would think exactly the same way. I would hate men.
Behind such a belief also hides a trauma, a wound that you really don’t want to poke at. That’s why many women choose to think that there are no normal men, rather than look into themselves and feel the pain again.
On ordinary weekdays, they hide behind indifference to men, but on a day like this, that feeling turns into anger and is accompanied by sadness and disappointment.
Go through the meditation “Release from Pain,” which will help your body release negative emotions associated with people from the past.
What to do:
At least on this day, believe that worthy men do exist. You just don’t see them yet because your pain and anger are taking center stage.
Separate your feelings and emotions from the object, in this case from a man, and try to accept them.
If you dig deeper and think about it, you can find a whole bunch more myths that make women suffer, but the goal of this article is different.
The point is that it’s not men’s inattentiveness and indifference that make you unhappy, but these old stereotypes and expectations.
Look at things more broadly, don’t wait for what you can give yourself, ask for what you need, talk to your men, explain what kind of treatment you want.
And most importantly, live up to the very standards you set for your loved ones.
Love and value yourself, be fulfilled, and you will have no reason to take offense. You will attract the same kind of treatment and the right people into your life.
March 8th is not about bouquets; it’s another wonderful reason to celebrate your feminine nature, to remind yourself that you are one of a kind — unique and precious.
See also: Stages of a Woman’s Evolution Through Relationships