«Love is returning to the consciousness of humanity with tremendous force. It has always been here, but now it is stepping into the very «center stage.» Emmanuel Dagher
Human life is full of emotions and feelings. Emotions can be called a person’s signaling system. They show what to pay attention to, what details are slipping out of your field of vision.
Two feelings — love and hate – are two sides of the same coin. It is no coincidence that there is a saying, “from love to hate is just one step,” and it also works in reverse.
The distance from hate to love is the same. You just need to switch the polarities.
The source of hate is judgment and anger, the source of love is acceptance and joy.
Feelings and emotions are an indicator of what brings a person joy in life and what does not satisfy them. By experiencing some emotions, a person loses their strength; by experiencing others, they become filled with energy.
Why this happens and how to cope with the destructive feeling of hate, read in this material.
Pay attention to the feelings within yourself
Concentrate not on external manifestations, but on yourself.
Focus not on who your feelings are directed towards, but on the feeling itself.
Your feelings are what matters, what you personally feel, and it does not matter towards whom you are experiencing these feelings.
Whether hating or loving, you generate feelings of a certain quality, thereby laying the foundation for your future.
Your feelings, which you experience here and now, attract a future of the same quality.
Think about it, what can you attract by hating? And what kind of future can manifest when love lives in your heart?
It is logical that love will bring positivity into your life, while the feeling of hate will attract negative events.
Decide for yourself which feeling you wish to carry within you.
This is not about being obligated to love your offender. It is impossible to force yourself to love anyone.
But you have the power to take steps towards a better, brighter tomorrow for yourself.
To do this, choose what you want to attract.
Hate destroys. Do you want to destroy your life? This is your life, and only you can decide whether to live in trauma or in self-love, for your own benefit.
Take responsibility for the feelings and emotions you experience.
The feeling of hate is a mental poison
By hating, you are killing yourself, not the one you hate. It is like poisoning yourself with venom.
Hate is a feeling that destroys you on a physical level.
In your life, hate will manifest not only through unpleasant events but will ultimately affect your health.
A body saturated with hate will begin to break down, get sick, and your organs and systems will start to malfunction.
You drink the poison of hate and hope that the one you hate will be poisoned.
Learn to switch yourself to unconditional love for your loved ones, when it does not matter to you how they have treated you.
This is important because the choice is simple — either you destroy yourself or you rebuild yourself from the ashes and ruins of difficult relationships with your family.
There are no other options.
Your red buttons that loved ones push are a manifestation of your shadow aspects.
Behind every red button lies a wound that needs to be found and healed.
The course “Dance with the Shadow” will help you find yourself and understand your strengths and weaknesses. This is a powerful tool that you can use for your own benefit.
Take care of yourself, love yourself
Don’t force yourself to love your mom, dad, or anyone else. That’s impossible. But can you love yourself? Can you take care of your beloved self?
Give yourself the love you didn’t receive in childhood from your mom or from close people.
Only by loving yourself can a person love their neighbor.
You CANNOT give others what you do NOT have.
If in a desert, where everything around is scorched by the blazing sun, you constantly pour water into an empty vessel, it will yield results.
In the desert, the ground without water is cracked, the plants are withered, bugs and animals have left this area because it is completely uninhabitable.
The vessel into which water is continuously poured will gradually fill up, despite the fact that some of it will evaporate from the heat.
It may not happen right away, but the container will fill to the brim. When the vessel is completely full, the water will begin to spill out.
It will spread over the ground around the vessel. Thanks to this, life near the container will begin to revive.
First, the dry crust of the earth will disappear. Then vegetation and grass will appear. Bugs will begin to live on the grass.
The more water spills from the vessel, the more space will begin to come alive and flourish.
See also Love is a gift. How to find it
The source of love is always within you. Open it and gift yourself first, and only then your loved ones.
Regardless of the fact that the environment itself remains unchanged, the sun continues to blaze.
The same thing happens when you fill yourself with love. It doesn’t matter at all what surrounds you, it doesn’t matter what is in the external world.
What matters is your internal state. If there is an abundance of love in your soul, then all the space around you will radiate love.
Love or hatred for parents
Separately in this topic, I want to pay attention to relationships with parents.
Most often, it is with the closest people that complicated relationships develop.
It’s easier to love strangers because there are no personal ties.
Where does alienation and feelings of hatred toward parents come from
Our parents raised us as best they could; they had no other knowledge about parenting.
Standard upbringing involves bending a child to one’s own way of thinking, forcing them to be obedient.
Parents were sure that this is how they showed care for their child. Care is good, but caring does not mean loving.
Most parents raise their children from the position of what is wrong with the child, where the child does not meet their criteria.
The focus is on shortcomings and their eradication.
Such upbringing breeds cold indifference and distrust towards the parents themselves and society as a whole.
As a result, everyone is unhappy, no one is to blame, everyone is a victim.
But any grievances and claims do not appear by chance; you need to understand the cause.
See also What the state of resentment teaches you. 10 facets of touchiness
In this article, you will discover 10 facets of resentment and learn how touchiness can become a tool for development.
Relationships with parents — a difficult challenge in life
If such relationships have been built for more than one generation, and you don’t want to pass this destructive pattern on any further, it is within your power to break the chain.
It’s no coincidence that this issue has arisen in your life. Stop it, and you can heal the following generations, starting with your children.
Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into conflicts, but show attention to your parents. During a conflict with your parents, go up and hug them.
Take actions that are unusual for both you and them.
From the surprise, your parents will be taken aback; this will knock them out of their habitual state of irritation and calm them down.
Between hatred and love, there are many intermediate steps that lead to a neutral position.
Even when you reach the point of indifference, when you don’t care that your parents are interfering in your life, you are already capable of setting personal boundaries and saying no.
Do this not harshly, but firmly.
You define your own boundaries. Read the article “Personal Boundaries — How Not to Lose Yourself.”
Don’t Seek Love Outside
Don’t expect people to live for you. Don’t expect that someone must love you.
Just as you don’t have to love your parents, this principle works in the opposite direction as well.
It turns out that parents don’t have to love you either. But you are capable of generating this wonderful feeling yourself.
To do this, you simply need to love yourself. And then love will radiate from you, it will pour out all around you from everywhere.
Adopt a state where you are NOT looking for someone to fill you with love, but you yourself are the source of this feeling. Over time, the grievances towards others will fall away on their own.
See also: How to Let Go of Resentment Toward Your Father and Why It’s Important to Do So
If you are unhappy with your relationship with your husband, with men, and you want to change it for the better, or in the future meet the partner you dream of, reconsider your relationship with your dad.
If you have a childhood trauma, turn to your inner child.
Have a heart-to-heart talk with them, comfort them — yourself as a child, give your love, fill the wounded child with love.
Take the course “Activation of Unconditional Love through the Chakras.” This will help you fill yourself with unconditional love for yourself and retune your energy system to this feeling.
The Situation from the Soul’s Perspective
Difficulties are given to draw your attention to something significant for you, so that you focus on yourself, not on the external.
The result, how everything unfolds in your life, will depend on how you react and how you act.
Perhaps it is through their attitude towards you that the soul of a loved one provokes you to seek love within yourself.
So that you don’t wait for someone to love you, but instead learn to love yourself, learn to give yourself love.
People play roles in order to develop new necessary qualities in themselves.
When loved ones put you down, they are not doing it to you, they are doing it FOR YOU.
Because this is the only way to open your eyes to the fact that you don’t love yourself. So that you finally do something, change something in your life for the better.
Fill yourself with love and start living better.
Our strength is embedded in the most painful situations. By resolving a situation, a person takes back this life force.
The soul of the offender is merely a conduit to this strength, an activator, if you will.
Through causing pain, through your manifestation of feelings of hatred and resentment, it illuminates where the treasure is hidden — your strength.
See also How to find wisdom in an unpleasant situation
How to heal hatred through self-love
Our reactions define our being. A reaction is unconscious behavior.
If you react on autopilot, negative emotions prevent the flow of unconditional love from passing through you.
If you find yourself in a difficult situation, it means you have the strength to overcome it. People are always given challenges according to their ability to cope with them.
It is within your power to break the chain when you act just as you saw your parents do.
You have embarked on the path of self-discovery, the path of healing from hatred.
It is within your power to transform it into a feeling of love and elevate your life to a higher level.
If hatred currently outweighs the scales for you, you can tip those scales to the other side, to where love is.
Where you direct your attention is the feeling you nourish. The wolf you feed wins.
If you think about hatred for someone, the scale with hatred will tip.
If your attention is directed towards self-care and you fill yourself with love – the scale of love will tip.
- Don’t judge people as being bad; focus on the reason why you don’t like something and offer possible solutions.
- Empower people; pay attention to what positive thing a person did that was uncharacteristic of them before. By empowering others, you yourself become stronger.
- Create an algorithm for your actions for when destructive emotions arise. If you are mindful, you understand how such moments manifest in your life.
You are capable of sensing when you are on the verge of a breakdown and acting according to the previously written algorithm.
It won’t work the first time, but by repeatedly playing out the desired scenario, you program these actions into your subconscious until they become automatic.
But following this algorithm requires a huge amount of effort.
Therefore, keep your focus on understanding *why* you are following it. This will bring enormous benefit and qualitatively improve relationships with loved ones.
And your children will already learn the experience of different relationships.