In the modern world, women and men compete with each other precisely because women don’t use their own power, but instead use men’s methods.
And so I grew up as a girl in a man’s world. The women I loved mostly used masculine energy to get through life. And I learned to do the same.
As a woman, I almost perfectly mastered the external attributes of masculine power. This includes an inquisitive mind, agility, efficiency, a competitive drive, quick decision-making, seeking out new “territories,” providing for the family, and so on.
But deep down, I always knew I didn’t need any of this; it all made me unhappy. But I didn’t know any other kind of power, and I really didn’t want to be powerless – that feels empty and leaves you without support…
So I strived to master the power that everyone knows about, the one they teach.
And gradually, the masculine power I had mastered began to destroy, annihilate, and suppress me – so that I would restore my feminine power.
I couldn’t even imagine that being a woman is a reward, a gift. That a woman possesses enormous power, and this power is beyond competition.
Because only men can compete, while women cooperate. A man and a woman always complement each other. Their powers are different, like earth and sky, like water and air.
What is the source of feminine power
A woman’s power lies not in having a “gorgeous” body, the dishes she cooks, how she raises her children, or runs her household…
Feminine power is revealed in the state from which a woman does all these things – from a state of happiness or from a state of unhappiness…
For a woman in a state of happiness and love, even a dilapidated hut will feel cozy and warm. Next to her, people’s souls find rest, and simple bread tastes better.
If a woman is in a state of unhappiness and lacking love, even the most luxurious palace becomes “icy,” cold and uncomfortable; everyone around her is angry and irritable. And food prepared by such a woman destroys those who eat it…
And a woman’s responsibility to herself, the world, and people – is to always be in a state of happiness and love…
When a woman doesn’t take this responsibility – her feminine power is blocked, her source of joy and inspiration for herself and for the whole World is cut off.
And then the “shadow” (painful) side of the woman manifests in life, her powerlessness. From this arise anger, resentment, depression, and illness.
See also How to learn to accept and why it is important
3 techniques for acceptance.
Masculine power and responsibility
A man’s power does not lie in his sexual-love “conquests,” cool cars, status, or other signs of an “alpha male.”
Masculine power lies in the responsibility that a man is ready to carry. This is responsibility for himself (his words, actions, his space), his family, his children, and the people who have trusted him.
And the more responsibility a man takes on and is able to maintain (meaning, no matter who does what, he bears the responsibility – he fixes, teaches, guides, etc.) – the greater his power, influence, and wealth.
In this case, money, opportunities, and other blessings come to the man in abundance. So that he can wisely distribute resources among all those he is responsible for.
When a man does not take responsibility – his power is blocked, he hasn’t claimed it.
No matter how superficially “easy and fun” such a man lives – he constantly feels powerless. Because he does not receive gratitude and sincere appreciation, which he actually deeply needs.
By the way, one way to assert himself and feel some kind of power is to “have” as many women as possible and manipulate them… Also, such men are often aggressive, consume large amounts of alcohol, while always finding excuses for themselves and blaming others.
See also Excess of feminine/masculine energy. How to find balance
For harmony in life, your masculine and feminine sides must be in balance. Read the article to see where a predominance of “pure” feminine or masculine energy leads.
Why we shouldn’t take on someone else’s burden
In our world today, there are many unhappy women who have taken on masculine responsibility while not carrying their feminine one.
At work, they compete with men and “everything rests on them.” They “drag the family” on their own, and sometimes not just the children, but the husband too. Such women are in a state of a “driven horse,” and also convinced that “there are no normal men.”
Their unhappy state creates a cycle of further unhappiness, and it seems there is no end to it…
Read about the 7 reasons that prevent women from asking men for help.
Also, there are many powerless men who, for the sake of “the sweet life” and “freedom,” have completely rejected responsibility… And they too feel deeply unhappy, full of grievances towards the world and women.
They escape into parallel realities, disconnecting from life: alcoholism, workaholism, computer games, destructive behavior…
So what happens? Constant demands on each other and tallying up points of “who owes what to whom.” An eternal “obligation” – like in the parable of the snake and the turtle (if I bite – it will drop me, if I drop it – it will bite me…)
What harmonious relationships look like
As you can see, a man and a woman need each other.
A man needs a woman to be responsible for her (and for the family, children). Then he becomes strong, caring, and fully realized.
A woman needs a man who will give her the necessary protection and patronage. And in such conditions, she can manifest her feminine power in creating a space of happiness and love within the family.
For those living in such a union, life always has abundance; together they are capable of creating any new world. Individually, they can also do a lot and are happy in their own way, but they can fully realize their potential only together.
This is how God created us – different and so necessary for each other…
See also: Features of feminine energy in relationships. Why it’s important not to shut down during conflict
How to find your femininity
In my opinion, a woman doesn’t need to specially learn how to be a woman – after all, it’s inherent in her very essence.
She simply needs to stop playing roles imposed by society and wisely use the tools given to her by nature for their intended purpose.
A role is always inauthentic; it’s something written by someone else, meaning it’s not your inner truth.
It’s copying someone else’s standards of femininity that marketers and advertisers invent, wanting to sell you everything, and at a high price. And, of course, there’s family upbringing and public opinion, which again impose other people’s models on you.
But, in the end, if we work on ourselves and strive to become more harmonious, we are ready to grow out of our roles.
Now is the time when women are reclaiming their natural tools. Accepting them and learning to use them is true mastery.
You can spend your whole life playing the role of a woman, or you can live as a real woman, enjoying this gift day after day. In my opinion, the difference is enormous.
Svetlana Vinogradova