Being good, a good person — this is one of the common programs that prevents you from living happily, prevents you from being yourself.
Carriers of this program often make decisions not based on what they really need, but based on whether they will be good. The need to be good cancels out all dreams, all true intentions of the soul, all aspirations.
Actions done to please someone else constrain and impoverish life.
It would seem, what is there to understand — choose yourself and that’s it. But this program sits deep in the subconscious, and even people advanced in personal and spiritual growth often fall for its bait.
Read what will happen if you continue to cling to the desire to be good.
Not being good does not mean being bad
For a person striving to be good, it is scary even to think about how to stop being it. Will I become bad then?
Learn to see the whole spectrum, not just black and white. Not being good does not immediately mean being bad. There are intermediate options.
Not always being good means choosing yourself, being yourself, and accordingly, accepting yourself as different.
People with the “be good” program adhere to a static image of themselves, an image of how good, white, and fluffy they are, living in the illusion that this way everyone will love, recognize, respect, and notice them.
But this image has little in common with who you really are. And who are the real you?
It is uninteresting and boring to always be in the image you invented for yourself, the one you consider yourself to be. After all, behind this picture, you don’t even know yourself.
Get to know yourself, try to see everything, without illusions, accept your dark parts, return yourself piece by piece, celebrate that you managed to reclaim those parts that you pushed aside because of the desire to please, the desire for love and approval from others.
No external third-party love is worth denying who you are. Each of us is a treasure, a unique gift to this planet. Choose yourself.
See also: How self-betrayal manifests and how to change it
From the need for love and recognition to the state of a love generator
If you are a creator, a generator, then you yourself are love, you yourself are the abundance of everything you wish to receive from others. Give all of this to yourself, and then give it to others from an overflow, not from a desire to get a drop of attention in return.
You don’t have to be good, you don’t have to be perfect; the main thing is that your heart is open, that your thoughts about others are kind. When you give something kind, that is enough. You remain yourself in the process, everything around you unfolds in a new light, and this need to be liked, to be good, disappears.
Because you are in a creative state, you have everything, you don’t need anything from anyone, you yourself can give and help.
The need to be good is a need, a consciousness of lack. You put yourself in a position dependent on others. You want to get a crumb of love when you yourself are capable of generating its abundance.
When you are in the state of a generator, which is also equal to the consciousness of abundance, you yourself are this abundance, you yourself create what you want and can share it with others who are struggling.
Take the Meditation “See, Love and Value Yourself,” which will help you see your true self, so that without fear, without regard for others’ opinions, you can show yourself and everyone around you who you are.
The need to be good = addiction
When you again catch the idea that you need to be good for others at your own expense, stop and choose yourself. Feel that freedom.
It doesn’t matter what those you refused think. If they are truly close people who love you, they will understand. And if not, it will be a lesson for them. That will no longer be about you, but about them.
“No one can take your energy if you do not give it away. You give energy to someone because it is important for you to be good.
The desire to be good can otherwise be called an addiction. When you tear yourself away from this addiction, you feel inner freedom.
It becomes unimportant to you whether another person will be offended by you or angry. That is no longer your area of responsibility.
You act in a way that is close to you. Since you do this from inner agreement with yourself, with your heart, with your path, your claims against another disappear.”
Alena Starovoitova
See also Four Psychological Needs. Who Should Fulfill Them
Being in Your Truth – The Task of 2023
“This year, everyone who tries to be good will have a hard time. Overall, 2023 is a year of manifesting truth.
In the recent period, a lot of truth has surfaced, including at the collective level.
In every (collective) sphere of life, there is a set of its own prohibitions (restrictions) – ‘do not go here.’ Otherwise, you risk becoming ‘bad,’ and therefore rejected.
And all of this is now beginning to be exposed.
Now imagine that you are 100% in truth. And everyone around you is 100% in truth. How would that feel?
We were born in the matrix. And it is entirely justified that, “according to the rules of the Game,” we contain within ourselves many “little knots” – mental programs that make playing in the matrix possible.
As attributes of the 3D world, these programs are written everywhere. Therefore, a lot of effort is required to detect and untie such “little knots and tails.” Sometimes it takes a long time.
Everyone, whether they realize it or not, has their own supply of lies. A lie includes omissions, “keeping silent” where one wants to speak out, enduring, and so on.
There is truth. Everything else is just one form or another of a lie, even if it is situationally justified.
Your illusions and delusions, which you have cultivated for years, are also a lie.
When you increase the amount of truth in your life, your vessel of lies is correspondingly emptied.
If you imagine, even for a second, that you say everything you truly feel in the moment, you will sense how much your reality could change.
Or imagine that everyone around you starts saying what feels true to them in the moment.
Truth is a dynamic phenomenon. There is no single universal truth for everyone.
You think you acted well, while another thinks you behaved terribly. And if before you could stay silent to avoid sharpening this dissonance, now you will not have that opportunity.
These very piles of lies are what you will clear away in 2023, answering the question for yourself – “if you are 100% in truth and everyone else is 100% in truth, how would that feel?”
Essentially, we are approaching telepathic communication.
You are naked, bare, and you cannot hide anything; all your inner impulses and motives are understood and visible to everyone.
In this sense, we face an enormous amount of work over the year. Now imagine what would happen if this entire volume of work did not stretch over a year but fell on you in a single day? Would you cope?
Can you withstand such a number of “exposures” about yourself?
Alena Starovoitova (#conversation_on_the_couch “Turn the Page”)
See also The Echo Chamber Effect. Why people fall into the trap of agreement