Many people think that forgiving an offender means you absolutely must make peace with them, admit they were right, and start enduring their offenses all over again. But this is a completely wrong understanding of forgiveness.
Forgiving does not necessarily mean making peace. Find out what it really means then…
The ability to forgive is your protection from aggressors!
To forgive means to stop being connected to the offender, to stop depending on them. You are not admitting they were right at all!
On the contrary, you understand that they were wrong to offend you or treat you badly. But you forgive them for it, as if you were forgiving your debtor, understanding that even though they owe you, expecting them to repay the debt is useless.
You are essentially saying to them: “Yes, you owe me. But I see that you are unable to repay this debt. You don’t have the means to do so. Well then, deal with your own problems, and I will go my own way and forget about you. But just don’t come to me anymore. Let’s part peacefully, go your own way. I have no more claims against you. But I don’t owe you anything either.”
The ability to forgive is your protection!
If you have forgiven, you are not tied to offenders, to aggressors, to liars, to traitors. With your forgiveness, you have closed the vulnerable points in your soul. There is no longer any way for resentment to enter, nothing for it to latch onto within you!
Offenders no longer have power over you, because you are protected from them by a powerful armor – the armor of your forgiveness.
See also 7 reasons to leave the past behind
For example, someone doesn’t forgive their parents for childhood grievances. Or they cannot free themselves from feelings of guilt for an act that happened years ago.
Because of this, we react to new events in the old way – as “offended children,” or “guilty debtors before everyone.” Maybe it’s time to stop this?
Forgiving yourself
It is very important to learn to forgive yourself as well. And even first and foremost – yourself, because without forgiving yourself, you won’t be able to forgive others.
If a person hasn’t forgiven themselves, they see a distorted picture of the world: it seems to them that since they themselves don’t deserve forgiveness, then other people don’t deserve it either, and the whole world is to blame before them.
Learn to be a little kinder to yourself – even if other people have not been kind to you.
Now you know: they were not kind to you only because they were not kind to themselves. They were tormented by the emotional pain of their own unforgiveness – and they tried to inflict that pain on you, thinking it would make them feel better. But it doesn’t get easier; it only gets heavier when you pass your pain on to someone else, because in doing so you only multiply the amount of pain in the world.
The only way to stop the spread of pain from person to person is to forgive, first yourself, and then others.
What do you need to forgive yourself for? First and foremost, for not being kind enough to yourself. You looked at yourself through someone else’s unloving eyes and judged yourself too harshly. You deserve better treatment!
Angels look upon you with love, they shower you with goodness and tenderness, they forgive you. Become like the angels, start forgiving yourself, treating yourself with kindness and heartfelt warmth.
You are not guilty before God, and you are guilty before yourself only in that your behavior was self-destructive.
What it means to forgive yourself
To forgive yourself means to decide that treating yourself poorly is now in your past. And starting right this minute, you commit to treating yourself differently – to protect yourself, to admire the beauty of your spirit, to cherish your spirit, and to give yourself warmth, tenderness, and light every moment of your life.
And don’t strive for perfection! There are no perfect people, you are no exception, and your task on Earth is not at all about being perfect.
Your task is to grow, develop, seek and find your path, to discover new qualities in yourself, new talents, to try, to experiment, to take risks!
All of this is impossible without mistakes. Mistakes, imperfections, defeats, falls – all of this is natural in human life! This is how you learn. But don’t berate yourself for it! Learn from your mistakes and calmly, easily move forward.
See also How to recognize your feminine value: 10 tips
At the moment you made that “mistake,” you didn’t have the knowledge of the future, you didn’t have the necessary amount of energy. Perhaps you were scared, confused, emotionally wounded back then. And instead of judging, simply have compassion for that woman – yourself in the past.
Don’t make excessive demands on yourself. God loves you just as you are. He sees all your imperfections and still loves you, because the beauty and light of your spirit are worthy of love, because the spirit is above all imperfections, which in comparison are insignificantly small and unimportant.
Learn from mistakes and imperfections, overcome them, but just don’t punish yourself for them! To love your neighbor as yourself, you must first love yourself, remember that! And remember that you are worthy of God’s love.
How to free yourself from resentment
As long as you are resentful, towards yourself or others, you are not protected – because resentment blocks your access to God’s love, to heavenly protection. Pay attention: it’s not God who turns away from you, no! God is always near. His love pours out upon you constantly. But resentment creates a barrier in your soul that prevents you from receiving this flow of love.
To forgive means to dissolve such a dark barrier and open your soul to meet the light, energy, and power flowing from the heavens.
To dissolve the dark energies of resentment, you must first of all trust life, trust God and His wisdom. Yes, not only good things happen in your life. Yes, there are things that can cause you pain. Yes, God allows trials to come into your life. But God promises you that all these trials will ultimately turn out for your good. It will be better for you if you understand this as early as possible!
Then you need to try to understand why the people who offend you and the various unpleasant events associated with them have entered your life. Ask the angels, ask God, what you are meant to learn. This very question already frees you from resentment!
See also How to overcome resentment. 7 stages of transition from resentment to wisdom
A personal story will show where and in which moments you yourself are still falling into a victim state. You will learn how to use the energy of resentment for your own development.
It is very important: give up self-pity. Some people love to ask questions: “Why am I so unhappy?”, “What is this punishment for?”, “Why did this happen to me?” These are useless, meaningless, and destructive questions.
Take what is happening calmly and remember that no one wants to punish you! All heavenly forces want everything in your life to be only for your good. You have nothing to pity yourself for – you are loved by God, you are strong, you will overcome the trials, you have everything necessary for that.
See also How to find wisdom in an unpleasant situation
Use 5 ways to understand what recurring troubles and conflicts are telling you.
All heavenly forces want everything in your life to be only for your good. You have nothing to pity yourself for – you are loved by God, you are strong, you will overcome the trials, you have everything necessary for that.
Turn to God and ask him to help you forgive and forget both your own sins and those of others, and with a liberated, light heart live on!
Based on the book by Olga Ageeva “Codes of Heavenly Protection”
To forgive, does it mean to show weakness, to become vulnerable before the offender? Read about this in the article Being Vulnerable — Weakness or a Display of Strength.
Forgiveness Practices by Alena Starovoitova
We invite you to perform the best practices for forgiving yourself and others, balancing your inner state.
Meditation “Casket of Ringing Silence”
In this meditation, you will free yourself from the heavy stones of unforgiveness, guilt, and anger, and receive amazing gifts from the Higher powers.
Your heart will receive the space and time necessary to send healing love to your entire body. The meditation will help you gain clarity of thoughts and purity of intentions.
Go through the meditation “Casket of Ringing Silence”
Group Meditation “Return of the Goddess”
In the meditation — a journey to the Temple of Forgiveness you will meet the Great Goddess and feel the vibrations of tenderness, acceptance, forgiveness – for yourself and other people. You will see that in the New Time there is no longer room for drama and conflict struggle.
Additionally, you will balance the polarity of the masculine and feminine within yourself.
Participate in the group meditation “Return of the Goddess”