You can be polite on the outside while hating your interlocutors on the inside, or you can genuinely be kind from the heart. You can meditate all day long, or you can simply do good deeds without knowing anything about spirituality.
In this article, we’ll figure out what it really means to be kind and when people are just playing at spirituality and self-development.
What It Means to Practice
Once, a girl asked a question: “Why have I been doing practices for so many years, but life keeps getting worse and worse?”
It’s useless to do practice for the sake of practice.
The point is that you establish a connection with your soul, with your spirit, and you use certain tools for that.
But if you’re just using the tools without any purpose behind it, then there won’t be any result either.
I started being cautious about the word “to practice” after I started hearing questions like this. Because many people misunderstand it, thinking that if I do an exercise right now, that means I’m practicing, I’m applying it.
But practice is not when you repeat some meditation or exercises, to practice means that you apply all your realizations in life. It’s about application in reality.
For example, when your husband snaps at you, and you’re emotional, resentment or irritation rises up, and that’s the very moment when you apply what you’ve heard. Let go of the resentment or don’t dive into it, look at the situation from a different angle, understand that it’s about your husband, it’s not about you at all, it’s about his traumas.
Most people read and listen, but somehow it doesn’t work out very well to apply it in life. There’s a big gap between listening and doing. There are those who do yoga, go to seminars, but there are no changes in their lives.
Who will be in the winning situation here? The one who never went anywhere, never practiced anything, never heard about any mentors or Higher Selves, but is simply a kind-hearted person, switches gears quickly, doesn’t get offended if they’re wronged, and forgives.
This is an ordinary person who has never heard about spirituality, esotericism, metaphysics, or any practices. And they will be in a winning position because that’s how they live their life, it’s their life.
So it turns out it doesn’t matter what you do; if you’re in a great, benevolent state 90% of the time, enjoying yourself, radiating a sense of harmony outward, you’re doing your job that way.
See also Portal 2023 — the manifestation of spirituality in everyday life
Playing at Spirituality and Self-Development
There’s a trend of playing at spirituality/esotericism. Instead of solving real-life problems, a person is caught up in a game of pretending to be a great esotericist or spiritual figure.
Many people wonder how to make discipline (practices) enjoyable. Enjoyment is for the soul, while discipline is about willpower, not about “carrots and treats.”
Discipline is connected to choice. You know what lies behind each option, and you make a choice.
Having made a choice, you stick to it — you “go there.” No matter how much you might want to lie down/sit around/chat with your girlfriends, you have a goal — you know where you’re going, why, and what you’re doing it for.
Here you engage willpower, self-discipline, and continue moving in your chosen direction.
If you are not doing this, ask yourself: what is your benefit. There is a fine line between obligations and what you choose. Many unconsciously choose the worst option for themselves, believing they are acting in the best possible way.
At the core of effective development lies the formula “awareness + acceptance.” If you can add love to the formula, that’s even cooler.
There are also people who are caught up in the game of self-development. As a rule, nothing changes in the lives of such people. You either live it (apply your knowledge in life, in practice), or you play at it.
For example, a woman is passionate about self-development. Yet her immediate circle knows nothing about it. The woman is afraid to tell her husband or adult children, who hold different views, about her passion.
As a result, self-development turns into a game with an element of pretense. Such self-development is worthless because you are not living that way.
See also How lies are exposed and what the new foundation will be built on
Good Deeds and Spirituality
Some think that, for example, by feeding a stray dog, they do more to cleanse the Earth’s energy than a person who meditates daily.
Here too I see a substitution of concepts. The inner motive is important. It’s the same as considering all those who save animals every day and cannot walk past, their heart aching, as great servants.
It’s important to look deeper. Does it mean that a person who meditates every day is a good, kind person? It only says that they meditate every day.
And besides, not all meditation is the same. I can never forget the meditation that people were once gathered for on social media, against 5G towers, against the coronavirus, against the zombification and killing of millions of Chinese people, and so on.
And indeed, many spiritual leaders, authors of well-known channels and writers joined in. But that is their path. But isn’t it surprising what was written in the call to meditation? Everyone was invited, everyone is going, and I will go too, let’s serve. This also doesn’t speak to spiritual kindness.
If you feed a stray dog, it says nothing about your human qualities. There are many stories about people who are members of animal protection societies who hate people and radiate this malice. And yet they are engaged in saving animals.
Therefore, dive into the depths, and don’t try to focus on just one side of the coin, forgetting the other. Look at the motives behind actions. If a person is kind, they respect others and their personal boundaries; see how they act towards other people.
See also The “Currency” of the new world. Why it’s important to radiate heartfelt warmth
Can you consider yourself a truly kind person?
The article is based on episodes from the #разговор_на_диване (couch_conversation) section “On Religion and Forgiveness” and “The Portal of the Shadow Self”