We have touched on the topic of “rescuing” many times, or more precisely, on how to help a person if there is such a request. You can read those articles above.
Today we will talk about how exactly you can support a person in a difficult situation without invading their personal space and respecting their feelings.
In our society, there is a lack of a culture of support. We often do not know what to say to a person when they are in a difficult situation, when they are experiencing grief.
Some people start prying into the soul, others try to comfort, and still others withdraw altogether because they do not know what to say.
We were not taught to express our feelings, nor were we taught that it is normal to experience not only joy or other positive emotions. We were not taught this art of moral support while simultaneously respecting personal boundaries.
And that is why many lack this balance between openly asking if help is needed, what kind, and in what form, and a rude intrusion with lamentations like “poor thing, how will you manage now, everything is so bad for you.”
Fortunately, we are adults now and everything can be fixed. We can learn this. Here are some ways to support a close or not-so-close person.
Three ways to support a person in a difficult situation
The first way — active listening
There is such a concept as active listening. When a person speaks out, and you listen to them carefully, without inserting your own comments, judgments, and so on.
Many of us find this difficult to do, because for most, simply listening seems somehow uninvolved. When a person expresses their problem, it seems like they are asking what to do. And in response, people start giving advice.
But usually advice is not needed, advice is in no way connected to support. A person wants to share their feelings, to vent. And for that, they need someone nearby who simply listens.
It can be hard to believe, but simply listening is often enough. When a person is looking for a way out, that is the next step; it means they have already overcome despair.
See also How to open your own energy channel
The second way is to ask what help is needed
When something happens to a loved one, we want to help, we want them to feel better. But if you don’t know how, the best way is to directly ask what help is needed.
When a person is under stress, they often forget about basic needs: eating, drinking, sleeping.
Ask when they last had a meal. Maybe you need to bring food and feed them, because they themselves don’t even think about it.
If they are sick, maybe you need to take out the trash, help with some household chores that they have given up on.
See also Why people choose to leave life and how to support loved ones in grief
The third way is to find the right words of support
If the situation with support for close people is more or less clear. Then how do you support a stranger?
Many people use the phrase “hang in there.” Some perceive it normally, while for others, on the contrary, it causes irritation. It’s already hard enough, and you are reminded to be strong and endure.
What if, in a difficult moment, you want to be weak, you want to understand that you are not alone with your trouble, but that there are those who support you nearby, even if virtually.
There is no ready-made recipe here, no phrase that will ease the condition of everyone who finds themselves in a difficult situation.
Depending on the level of acquaintance with the person, words will be chosen individually for each. If you cannot find the right words, ask directly: what kind of support would you like to receive from me, how can I help you.
Because one person wants to be pitied, while another cannot stand any consolation. We are all different and in different situations and states may need different kinds of support.
See also: Three types of unconscious harm to loved ones from an energetic perspective
Perhaps you have your own ways and solutions on how to support a person in a difficult situation, in a hard time. We would be grateful if you would share them!
The article is based on a broadcast from the section #conversation_on_the_couch “Let’s talk, 19.02.2022”