When you are overwhelmed by negative emotions, the only desire is to stop feeling them as quickly as possible: this is not mine, I do not want to feel this!
But the only way to free yourself from these emotions is to accept and live through them.
Read in the article what two rules will help you cope with emotions, how to disidentify from them, and how to get out of an aggressive state.
Two main rules for coping with emotions
There are two main rules for coping with emotions, as discussed in the book “Integration of the Soul” by Sal Rachel:
- live through the emotion (the emotion cannot be shut inside, suppressed, denied, or ignored);
- maintain the position of an observer.
Many people fail to apply these rules effectively. The reason for the failure is that most remember these rules only in moments of strong emotions.
To learn how to cope with emotions, you need to train “in advance” while you are in a balanced state or experiencing emotions of low intensity.
As a child, you learned to walk and write in cursive — you spent a lot of time on practice. But when it comes to serious things like the ability to manage emotions, many for some reason believe it should happen at the snap of a finger.
In the current energies, the reactions of the physical body are changing. There are old body reactions and new ones. The current physical manifestations are a kind of combination, a mixture (of old and new reactions).
Filter everything by the principle, “does it serve my well-being or not, is it beneficial or not.”
Incorporate pleasant “little pleasures” into your daily life — small things that bring you joy (favorite food, hobbies, etc.).
Relieving a heavy emotional state begins with accepting it. If you are not experiencing relief, it means you have not accepted your state.
When you truly accept, several doors open before you. Then you choose which door to enter. As long as you are stuck in one place (refusing to accept/remaining inactive), you do NOT see these opportunities.
See also The Observer State: How to avoid getting drawn into conflict situations
Use simple «tools» to exit an emotionally charged situation.
Emotions are the past, feelings are the future
Emotions are always your past. When emotions overwhelm you, the past is catching up with you (something you didn’t do, said wrong, didn’t work out, etc.).
When a new future opens up for you, and you are not ready (the past has not yet been processed and released), you sink into fear and panic attacks.
The future is feelings. When you consciously create, engage sensations and feelings.
Climb out of emotions, gradually let go of them. Switch to feelings.
See also On a first-name basis with empathy. Pitfalls and gifts of empathy
Disidentifying yourself from habitual patterns and emotions
Rewrite your formulations when you notice what and how you say things.
For example, “I am angry.” You are not anger. You are experiencing anger. You experience different states, including states of happiness, joy, peace. Anger is just one of thousands of possible emotions for you.
Disidentify yourself from what you unconsciously identify with (habitual emotions, roles).
The process of disidentification is endless.
When you choose a higher reality, you will inevitably have to disidentify from something – to let it go.
See also Why it is important to let go of destructive programs, roles, and outdated emotional reactions
How to get out of an aggressive state
If you are experiencing aggression, accept your state.
Aggression, like any other state, does not arise out of nowhere. It may indicate that you have been ignoring something for a long time.
By blocking the hose through which water flows, the hose may naturally burst somewhere.
If you forbid yourself from defending your boundaries and interests, and experience discomfort and guilt every time you have to protect or express yourself, aggression will accumulate inside you.
If you are naturally prone to anger and aggressive reactions, regularly monitor the precursors of “impending rage.” Learn to stop yourself before you lose your temper or cause irreparable damage.
Read what will help change outdated behavior patterns.
The reason for irritation with everything and everyone
There are moments when nothing is satisfactory. They occur cyclically. This is a signal of the completion of a large work cycle. A feeling of discomfort appears; no matter what you look at, nothing is pleasing.
The old is gone, the new has not yet appeared; you do not even know that you are “moving,” but the readiness is already inside. Through irritation, the soul sends a signal that you are ready.
The main thing here is not to lash out at loved ones and those who supposedly annoy you. It’s not about them (family, colleagues), it’s about you. You need to get through this stage, take care of yourself, and guarantee that you won’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Don’t draw conclusions in such moments, don’t make important decisions.
Time will pass, and you will return to a resourceful state and realize that you have a blank slate in front of you. You start to feel out certain things, understanding what you take with you going forward and what you don’t.
If a loved one is emotional, what to choose: yourself or adapting to someone else’s game
The “forced” need to adapt to another (loved) person’s game is an excuse you make up for yourself and the result of your personal choice.
Whether to participate in someone else’s game or not is your choice.
If the “game outburst” happens once a month and the “player” is dear to you, you can choose to endure and adapt.
If the game activates once a week or even more often, it’s a reason to think about what you are doing next to an inadequate player.
Ask yourself questions: why do you need to adapt (why are you choosing this)? What would happen in the worst-case scenario if you chose not to adapt?
Now is not the time to adapt. The task is to preserve and strengthen yourself.
See also How to stop adapting to loved ones and achieve understanding
In the game, it’s important to focus on acceptance and the best outcome for everyone.
If you accept another person in their “failure,” accept the situation as it unfolds, and simultaneously hold the focus on the highest choice in your mind and heart, you automatically do NOT get involved in what is happening.
Then you have no need to negotiate or adapt. You grant the other person their legitimate right to “fail” while preserving yourself.
By shifting the focus to yourself in this way, you gain freedom. Freedom comes when you refuse to preserve peace at any cost. Sometimes such peace is unnecessary because it blocks development.
Share your ways of coping with negative emotions?