How often do you feel dissatisfied with life? Do you always experience joy and contentment regardless of your current conditions and circumstances?
If the feeling of dissatisfaction is a frequent companion in your life, then we recommend reading this article.
You will become aware of the reasons for your discontent and receive an algorithm for how to rewrite the polarity of your feelings about what is happening from destructive to positive.
Where dissatisfaction with life begins
- Unjustified expectations
You fantasize about what doesn’t happen or happens not the way you want. There’s a plan in your head that obvious life doesn’t match.
How it “should be” doesn’t align with what is. You believe the imagined picture is correct, and spontaneous life is a mistake, and therefore you think: “My life is not in order.”
- A state of lack
It seems to you that you lack things or events for happiness. You believe that acquisitions and achievements will bring a feeling of contentment.
This belief is supported by advertising, shopping malls, and public opinion. Therefore, you think: “I cannot feel content without having this/having lost this.”
One of the principles of a conscious person states: “Have no expectations.” Check yourself against the other points to see how much mindfulness is present in your life.
What fuels dissatisfaction
- Thought: “Life doesn’t match the plan” => The habit of building expectations.
Since childhood, you have learned to plan the future and take responsibility for all events, as if you are their sole creator.
You got drawn into a game called “I am the author of what happens”: you create a plan and try to force life into imagined frames. You feel fear and guilt because it doesn’t work out (and how could it!).
- Thought: “I am missing something” => The habit of wanting more.
You have come to believe that you lack something for happiness: you are not smart enough, wealthy enough, fashionable enough; you try your hardest to become better, to be more successful, interesting, experienced; to acquire more things…
So that one day you can exhale and say: “Now I am complete/worthy/enough,” “now I have everything I need.”
Both of these fuel dissatisfaction with life.
Check right now, if you are experiencing dissatisfaction regarding any situation in life, are the thought-habits mentioned above behind this feeling?
And if your answer is “yes,” then read on to find out what to do about it.
How to get rid of dissatisfaction with life
1. Recognize the root of dissatisfaction
To do this, ask yourself:
- What expectations of mine are not being met right now?
- Do I want more right now than I have?
- Do I believe that I am lacking something for happiness at this moment?
- Do I think that life should exactly match my plan?
The root of dissatisfaction is always the thought-habits you have adopted.
See also: How to prescribe a new paradigm of thinking
6 steps that will help you rewrite your thought-habits into productive ones.
2. Observe the influence of thought-habits on the situation
Habit-thoughts are indeed very powerful. And in a critical situation, it is difficult for you to detach from them.
The inner voice says: “This shouldn’t be happening,” “I have to do something about this,” “This cannot be allowed,” “I will get this by any means necessary.”
A strong desire arises to impose your own vision on life — to fight, to struggle, to grasp at any option, to control, to suffer.
To see this clearly, ask yourself:
- What am I feeling right now by resisting what is?
- Am I resentful towards life? Do I consider what is happening to be an injustice?
- Does my resistance make my life and the lives of those around me more joyful and kinder?
- Am I able to maintain gratitude and love for life when it doesn’t meet my expectations and doesn’t give me what I want?
- What actions/behaviors does the feeling of discontent push me towards? How does this affect my life and the lives of those around me?
Discontent with life is always destructive for us and for those around us. Only love and acceptance can painlessly change the situation for the better.
See also Life as a Struggle: How to Stop Fighting
3. Realize that habit-thoughts are false
The transformative power of discontent teaches us to trust life and the understanding that happiness is within.
To encounter this wisdom, ask yourself:
- Do life and other people really have to live up to my expectations?
- Do I really have power over life and everything that happens in it?
- Am I really insufficient/incomplete to experience peace and joy right now?
- How many more things/events do I need to find the joy of life? Is there a limit to my desires and aspirations? Will I truly feel peace only after achieving everything I’ve planned? What will happen if what I want never happens?
When past habit-thoughts arise, do not follow them. Know that everything that happens is unfolding according to a plan much greater than yours, and what you need for happiness is not found outside.