How to find your soulmate? This question worries many.
Remember the ancient Greek legend about soulmates? It tells that the ancestors of humans were four-legged and four-armed, with two faces and the sex organs of three genders: male, female, and a combination of both.
They were called androgynes. They encroached on the power of the gods. Zeus became angry, split them in half, and scattered them all over the world. And now these halves are searching for each other.
Many people still believe that they have one single soulmate somewhere, and meeting them will finally bring them long-awaited happiness and harmony.
- What should those who still haven’t met their soulmate do?
- What is the real truth behind this myth?
- Are there other ways to find love and happiness?
In this article, we invite you to explore what soulmates and wholeness really are.
You will learn how to gather all the parts of yourself to become whole and attract a worthy partner.
What is a half, a soulmate
A half equals ½ of a whole. The name itself gives a clue. A half is just some small part.
A soulmate is a person who feels that something is missing in their life.
And they spend their entire life searching. They move from relationship to relationship, looking for their missing piece to make a whole.
“Half-hearted” relationships:
their benefits and harms
As a result, you enter relationships and, realizing this isn’t your soulmate, you leave them.
If a breakup happens in your life, especially not by your choice but initiated by your partner, it creates a huge trauma and pain.
Without this part, you feel incomplete, not whole; you become a half again.
On one hand, this type of relationship is beneficial because you receive tremendous support within them.
Everything you lack, you seek in another person.
You find it, attract it to yourself, form a pair, and create a whole.
Such relationships, at first glance, seem very harmonious and stable, but only until the first conflicts.
And when you leave them, you feel like the most precious thing in your life has been taken away. And you are left alone.
What partners we attract at a certain stage of development
Like attracts like. A woman attracts a man at the same level of development as herself.
These are people with whom we go through certain lessons. After some time, we part ways with these people.
We find the next partner. The same thing happens again, only the framework of the lessons changes.
The lessons and tasks change, but the situation itself, looking from the outside, remains the same.
If you have progressed, made a leap in development, and become vibrationally higher, then the next partner you find will match you.
But your development continues full speed ahead, day after day.
And if after some time you change, but your partner doesn’t, choosing to stay at the same level of development, it means an inevitable breakup is near.
Many prefer to stay in such relationships out of fear of loneliness, fear of remaining incomplete.
See also Loneliness or freedom? Do you need to get rid of it
Read about what is useful in loneliness and how to transform it into freedom.
How emptiness appears in the heart
Why do we end up in such situations time and time again?
In childhood, many of us were put before a choice when we were told: “Do you want me to love you? Earn my love.”
Rare is the person who didn’t go through this kind of parental blackmail in childhood.
Parents didn’t mean any harm, they just needed convenient children who wouldn’t interfere with their adult lives. That’s how they were taught by their parents, their parents’ parents, and so on.
After this, a vacuum forms inside, an emptiness that you want to fill.
See also Why a closed heart is dangerous for you
And we fill this emptiness from the outside. We look for partners to get attention and affection. This holds a very big trap.
When the intensity of love, attention, and passion fades or enters a steady phase, then the flow that a person receives becomes insufficient for them.
And they seek it elsewhere. This isn’t even about sexual contacts, but simply about interaction.
Since the emptiness isn’t replenished from within, such a person tries to find this (attention, approval, etc.) everywhere and anywhere.
See also Where self-devaluation comes from
How to determine if you are a half or not
If there is emptiness inside, you will spend your whole life searching for that other half. The opportunity to fill what you lack within yourself.
The main indicator of how to determine whether you feel like a half or not:
If you have ever experienced a breakup with a loved one in your life, and after that you felt like you were dying, like your heart was broken in two — that is the very feeling of being halves.
The feeling that a part of you was taken away, that you lost the most precious thing in life.
What is wholeness
Wholeness is completeness, totality, integrity, and the inherent consistency of a thing.
The idea of wholeness is connected to the concept of opposites – black-white, masculine-feminine, bad-good, etc.
If two conflicting opposites are brought together and integrated, the result enters into a greater wholeness.
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. 1+1 doesn’t give 2, but something more.
The whole is characterized by new qualities and properties that are not inherent in the individual parts but arise in the process of their interaction.
Being whole is much simpler because there is no pain of loss or deprivation.
There is no feeling that your life falls apart every time someone says “goodbye” to you.
You are full from within. This doesn’t mean you won’t need anyone. You yourself choose whether you want to be in a relationship or not.
A whole personality — what is it, and most importantly, what does it specifically mean for you? How to attain wholeness of personality
How to Gather All Parts of Yourself — How to Become Whole
#1 Unite the Masculine and Feminine
Each of us has a masculine and a feminine part.
The masculine part is active, its task is to act. It is more logical and straightforward. People with predominantly masculine energy don’t see subtext and trust logic.
The feminine part is passive, focused inward, intuitive, and trusts its feelings and emotions more.
In the past, you could be either one or the other.
Now we live in an interesting time when, for an effective result from our actions, we need to unite these parts within ourselves.
The ideal scenario is when everything is in balance. This principle has been working everywhere for a long time.
Your body can give you a clue about which energy predominates in you.
The masculine part is the right side of the body, the left hemisphere of the brain.
The feminine part is the left side of the body, the right hemisphere of the brain.
Techniques for uniting the masculine and feminine:
- Balancing the masculine and feminine with mantras
- Meditation “Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energy”
People who have balanced masculine and feminine parts are androgynes.
See also: The Birth of the Sovereign Masculine
#2 Unite the Dark and the Light
Each of us has things we are proud of and things we don’t like. Things we don’t accept and things we are ashamed of.
Those qualities we reject and judge are pushed out of our consciousness. This is our dark side.
The things we admire in others are also present in us. This is our light side.
These are shadow aspects that need to be accepted and integrated, which the transformation workshop “Dance with the Shadow” can help with.
#3 Unite Body and Spirit
Learn to express your feelings, develop your intuition, and establish a connection with your spirit, with your “Higher Self.”
Practices that help with this:
- Meditation “Dialogue with the Higher Self”
- Online course “Tools of Evolution”
- Meditation “Three Temples”
#4 Unite Mind and Heart
Our brain is a computer. And a computer only stores what we put into it.
The mind only processes the information it has received before. At one time, this worked. And we only used our knowledge and life experience.
But we are not capable of knowing everything or seeing all the options. However, we can feel a lot and listen to our intuition.
When making important decisions, don’t rely only on your mind. Use the hints from your heart.
How to Find Your Other Half
The point is that halves don’t exist. A “half” is what you don’t see in yourself.
A “half” is the emptiness you try to fill from the outside.
You attract people you yourself wanted to become and form a mythical, unstable whole. When the relationship cracks, you are left alone, as that very half.
Therefore, if you want to find your person, become that person. What you broadcast outward is what you attract.
Write down in detail all the qualities you would like to see in this person.
Compare them with yourself. Do you possess these qualities? If you don’t have them, you will never attract the partner you desire.
Be the person you want to attract.
If you unite the masculine and feminine, the dark and the light, the body and the spirit, the mind and the heart, you become whole.
And you will attract a partner who is the same.
See also: How to Meet Your Twin Flame
We will tell you which practices can help you call in your twin flame.
The true meaning of the legend of soulmates is this:
A person is whole on their own. Stop thinking of yourself as a half. What you are searching for is within you.
Alena Starovoitova talks about this in more detail in her training seminar “The Theory of Soulmates: How to Find Wholeness Within Yourself.”