Nothing will leave your reality before you have loved it.
To love is equivalent to “to set free.”
Jeshua (through Pamela Kribbe) on the New Earth, Lightworkers, and Consciousness
This segment of the Path began three years ago, when in November 2013, after many scattered but purposeful efforts and a large number of books read, I just couldn’t solve one life puzzle.
I had the idea to get myself a beautiful notebook and write down the whole truth about myself, as I saw myself then — “with all my flaws, tears and fits, scandals and shifts, and a tendency to lie…” (from a poem by Yekaterina Gorbovskaya).
In this notebook, I decided to have a heart-to-heart talk with my ego.
And I wrote down everything I thought about myself, what negative sides I saw in myself, what I was afraid of, what/who I envied, what drove me crazy, what I was dependent on.
I described it all honestly. I didn’t forget about my fear of cockroaches either.
It turned out to be a pretty average picture of Homo Sapiens — afraid of illness and judgment, envious of those with many children and those who travel, annoyed by loud music, feeling guilty when I eat pastries instead of saving the world…
But the most important thing was that after I poured this structured knowledge about myself onto paper, I felt much lighter.
I realized that each of these points is curable, and I even felt that at the moment I wrote it down — the healing had already begun.
I saw my little wounds, I simply, without judgment, accepted that these qualities exist. I illuminated them with my attention, and energy flowed there.
And so three years passed. A lot has changed. But the main thing is, my attitude towards myself has changed.
Confidence and strength appeared, a huge feeling of gratitude and acceptance, and the desire to compare and compete disappeared.
I realized that one of our big lessons in life is learning to be honest with ourselves. To honestly answer any questions life throws at us, like:
- Am I not letting my child splash in the puddle because he only has one jumpsuit and won’t have anything to wear tomorrow, or is it really because other parents will laugh?
- Do I practice yoga because my body enjoys it, or because it’s trendy?
- Do I listen to classical music instead of chanson because I like it, or because I should?
To answer any questions honestly and not judge yourself for the answers. Because there are no wrong answers to life situations, there are answers that are right for you, right now.
Tomorrow they might be different, the day after tomorrow, something else. And this honesty without judgment can be beneficial in many ways.
See also: How self-betrayal manifests and how to change it
The only duty to yourself, provided you want to be happy, harmonious, and have your desired reality, is to follow your own principles and decisions.
Let’s find out what these advantages are.
Why honesty with yourself is beneficial
- When an honest answer is given and received without judgment, self-acceptance begins: “Yes! Right here I depend on public opinion”; “Yes! Here I am being lazy”; “Yes! Here I am talking nonsense. It’s okay, it happens to everyone.”
- A large amount of energy is freed up. There’s no need to defend or protect yourself, no need to build elaborate theories and fuel them with your energy, because without nourishment they will collapse. If the answer comes from the very core, much becomes unimportant, and it nourishes inner strength and confidence.
- It becomes easier to accept other people’s answers. If I accept my own dependence on public opinion without judging it, then little by little, step by step, I will begin to accept it in others too and stop judging them for it.
- The desire to prove something to anyone and get into arguments disappears, because I have honestly answered many questions for myself and realized that there are no wrong answers to life situations—there are only our own answers for each of us.
There is now a vast amount of information and methods available on how to accept yourself, find your strength, and learn to be honest with yourself and with the world. Everyone can find something that resonates with them.
Here, I want to share what I have used myself and what has helped me.
Practices to help you learn
to be honest with yourself
1. Recognizing yourself as an immortal soul
It is easier for me to be honest with myself when I live from the standpoint that I am not just a person in certain life circumstances who is powerless to change them, but an immortal, powerful soul receiving various experiences and lessons on this planet.
I don’t know if this is actually true, but if I accept these rules of the game, it becomes much easier for me to rise up and shift into a state of creating my own life.
2. Practice: “Seeing yourself through God’s eyes”
A message from the Virgin Mary, channeled by Doreen Virtue, resonated deeply in my soul:
“Optimism is a form of faith in God and trust in Him. This trait can be developed through prayer: ‘Lord, let me see this situation through Your eyes.’
In this way, you can release the light and love hidden deep within the situation.”
I embraced this prayer with all my heart and rephrased it for my own needs: “Lord, let me see MYSELF through Your eyes.”
Now I use it every time doubts and self-distrust start to gnaw at me.
See also: Deals with the universe. Why it’s easier to bargain with the cosmos instead of coming to an agreement
3. Writing practices
I suggest you get a notebook or an electronic journal where you honestly write down everything you feel.
You don’t have to write every day, but when you feel like sharing or understanding a situation, you can pour it out onto paper.
Written text helps highlight those points you might miss when you’re running thoughts around in your head. And this method also helps free yourself from those thoughts.
4. Connecting with like-minded people
Create a private group on social media and invite only those people you trust one hundred percent, who will definitely support you in any endeavors and expressions, accept any of your quirks and revelations, and will not later reproach you or bring up what you shared with them.
You can write your questions and revelations in private club pages where people who are close to you in spirit gather.
Specifically for clients of the Keys of Mastery Training Center, a private group called “Golden Keys of Mastery” has been created. There are over 900 people there and a trusting, deep atmosphere.
When I write there, I know for sure that I won’t get a recommendation to “stop doing silly things and go cook borscht,” but will always hear words of support or a tactful, heartfelt piece of advice.
5. Mantra of Help, Cleansing, and Healing
At the very beginning of my Path, the book “Life Without Limits” by Joe Vitale helped me a lot.
It describes the Hawaiian system of cleansing and healing, where you repeat four phrases over and over: “I love you. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I thank you.”
When someone or something threw me off balance, I repeated these words to myself for a long time.
This helped me let go of resentment and pain, shifting my attention from self-pity to other, more positive emotions.
A little later, I started using another mantra that felt closer to me: “I love myself. I accept myself. I thank myself. I release myself.”
After completing the “Activation of Unconditional Love through the Chakras” course, I began using the words: “I unconditionally love myself. I unconditionally accept myself. I unconditionally thank myself.”
From the bottom of my heart, I recommend taking the free online course “Activation of Unconditional Love through the Chakras.” And its extended version, as suggested by Suzanne Carroll herself, the author of the idea.
Forty-nine days of meditations on unconditional love for yourself (seven days for each chakra) is a very powerful support tool for those who are ready to change.
6. The Practice of Gratitude
It’s not easy to feel the vibrations of unconditional love for everything and everyone. It’s much easier to use the practice of gratitude.
Start not with a public expression of gratitude, but with something very simple.
Thank your cup of coffee for its aroma and taste, your son for playing independently for a whole twenty minutes, a raindrop for its beauty, the driver of the car ahead for signaling early, your own hands for a job well done…
When the practice of gratitude becomes firmly embedded in your life, you begin to thank even the illness that brings even more awareness, the unpleasant news that helps you prepare for new life conditions, and indeed everything you encounter on your path, and most importantly — yourself, for everything, even for things that other people might judge you for.
You can learn how to practice gratitude from the article “The Practice of Gratitude,” as well as by listening to the audio recording by Svetlana Dobrovolskaya, “The Transformative Power of Gratitude.”
7. Transformation Workshop “Dance with the Shadow”
To meet your own Shadow, to become aware of, accept, and release the shadow aspects of your consciousness buried deep within, I recommend taking the transformation workshop “Dance with the Shadow.”
You can also do the practices on your own or from books, but sometimes it’s easier and faster under the guidance of a trainer.
I’ve taken more than one course on the “Keys of Mastery” project, but “Dance with the Shadow” remains my favorite.
It gives you the opportunity to get acquainted with many techniques in a short time and learn to apply them in life.
It turned out to be vitally important for me to meet and talk with my Inner Child, slightly shifting the focus of emerging fears and doubts, and also to receive my strength from the Inner Bully, whom I finally found hiding behind the Model Student.
And I consider the “Bus” practice to be one of the most powerful and effective practices; it helped me cope with those manifestations of the Ego that other techniques couldn’t help with.
And one last thing. At first, it might seem scary to live by accepting yourself, living in trust of yourself, living honestly with yourself and others.
But experience shows that after you start slowly opening the door to yourself, life is just beginning!
And yes, that problem I was struggling with in November 2013 was successfully resolved within a month.