Recently on a livestream, I mentioned that when Maris and I first met, I invited him for coffee, and he refused… refused because he didn’t have any money 🤷♀️
A cool question followed:
“If I’m not mistaken, when you met Maris, his finances weren’t great. How did you know for yourself that this was temporary? Was it purely based on trust, on a feeling that yes, with him you’d be safe and secure, or something else?”
I decided to answer this question as part of my Sunday column.
When two independent, grown adults, a man and a woman over 30, cross paths, I assume they:
🔸Have already found their footing and at least know what they want for themselves in life
🔸Have outgrown the romantic fairy tale about a prince on a white horse who will save them from their personal messes and instability
🔸Have learned to separate just sex, a relationship, and a family — these are completely different things and often unrelated to each other
So when you meet a man, you don’t consider him in the first seconds of meeting as a lifelong partner or as someone to solve your current or permanent problems.
If you want sex with him, you won’t torture your brain with stereotypes about how long you should wait before it’s appropriate.
Maris and I met at the Kryon conference in 2011 in Riga. I came as a translator, and he was volunteering, helping the organizers (I’ll get to this story later)…
By the time I returned home to Oryol, I knew that he:
- conducts 3 past-life consultations a day,
- organizes training seminars in Riga,
- lives in a rented 4-room apartment,
- rides a bike around the city, but also has a car 😉
A pretty serious young man, if you think about it, right?!
But I WASN’T thinking about that. Something else was important to me!
I had met a kindred spirit, even an ally. Someone who, like me, was simply burning with a desire to help people.
This wasn’t my first trip to Riga… and I invited some consultants, coaches, and facilitators I knew to a meeting outside the conference, where I talked about info-business, about how important it is now to share your knowledge with the masses… that a huge Russian-speaking space was open to them…
Maris latched onto the word “info-business” and bombarded me with so many highly specific questions that I couldn’t keep up with answering them 😉
It was after this meeting that he had a déjà vu, where he saw that we would be together. He saw it and ran away 🙃
And yes, he honestly told me that he would come to Oryol with one suitcase of belongings and no cash… He was ready to plaster all the local lampposts with ads for his consultations 😜
But did that even matter?!
Answering the question: if you’re obsessed with the feeling of being “safe and secure,” it means YOU haven’t built that wall FOR YOURSELF.
And you’re waiting for someone from the outside to do it for you.
Does this mean it’s bad to want reliability in a relationship, including financial reliability?
No, it doesn’t.
But first, you build what you desire for yourself. And only then do you attract a vibrationally similar partner to you.
Build your own solid foundation within yourself, so that at any moment you can first and foremost rely on YOURSELF (instead of punishing, belittling, or blaming yourself, or falling into doubt and fear at the slightest disagreement), and then men who meet the standard you’ve set FOR YOURSELF will appear on your horizon!
Let me remind you of my favorite phrase: The world begins with me and ends with me ☕️
Be mature and fulfilled yourself, and everything else will fall into place?!
P.S. If you missed the other stories, read them via the link >>