2023 will be dedicated to the ability to turn the page, in other words, not to dwell on yesterday and especially on the past.
Read recommendations on how to develop the skill of letting go in order to live without stress in the moment.
The metaphor of “turning the page”
What does it mean to turn the page? You literally go to sleep and wake up the next day renewed – you have turned the page.
There was one chapter, you finished reading it and turned the page. This is the minimum requirement for a less stressful 2023.
Now ask yourself a question: when you wake up in the morning, what is running through your head?
Surely, you are mentally going over everything you didn’t do yesterday, everything you still need to do this week, and so on.
Or do you choose to wake up in a state of a turned page – you don’t know what is “there” in this new day.
But you are open and ready to explore this topic.
The ability to empty your vessel, to develop the skill of letting go, no matter what, is the cornerstone skill of this year.
To begin with, you can focus on a 24-hour period, using sleep as a way to switch gears.
You go to sleep, wake up, and begin to create a new chapter from a blank slate. There is nothing there yet; you have yet to write it.
To help yourself, you can incorporate some practices.
See also: Suitcase of Spiritual Tools. Practices for Any Occasion
Lauren Gorgo’s recommendation on how to develop the skill of letting go
For example, Lauren Gorgo recommends that before going to sleep, imagine that the energy of the day (everything you experienced during the day) flows down your body and from your feet drains into the center of the Earth.
From a practical standpoint, you can not only take something ready-made but also come up with something of your own.
The main point is to create a feeling of turning a page for yourself.
What happens if you do NOT turn the page
The number of data points grows and will continue to grow further.
In other words, the intensity of processes will persist and even increase. Accordingly, the stress level will increase.
In this sense, those who do not have the skill to let go, to turn the page every night and wake up in the morning without clinging to the past, risk making their lives much more complicated.
With the number of data points that will continue to rise, you cannot keep piling this burden on yourself indefinitely. You may simply not withstand it.
To prevent this, you only need to learn to turn the page daily. For this reason, the skill of “exhaling” will be key this year.
Your task is to let the past day remain in the past day.
It does not matter how “global” the tasks before you are or how “critically important” the matters you have planned are.
The more tightly you hold onto something, the more you are tossed around. In this sense, 2022 played into many people’s hands.
Most people were so sincerely ready to say goodbye to that year that the strong desire to turn that page served as a kind of trigger.
Continue to do the same every day going forward.
Once you master the skill (with the help of sleep) of turning the page daily, transfer this skill to any task you are engaged in, including during the day.
After completing any (big or small) task, turn the page in the same way.
If something did not work out for you in the moment, leave it in that moment. Do not carry it with you throughout the day.
Now, especially at the collective level, much is happening not as each individual would personally like. And many continue to carry this with them, and carry it further.
The more of this kind of thing you carry with you, the heavier it becomes for you. It doesn’t matter what it is—whether it’s your thoughts from the past, or you’re obsessed with thoughts about the future.
The main thing is that in this case, you are not in the now, in the current moment.
Only what is happening now matters.
You need to hone the skill of turning the page to the level of mastery, to become an ace at it.
See also: Triggers for contract reassessment and three topics for letting go
The 5-Second Rule
According to research in neurophysiology, the “from the past” reaction to a traumatic situation lasts five seconds.
In other words, no matter what crap happens to you, no matter which of your red buttons someone presses, five seconds of deep breathing give you the ability to “disconnect” your attention from your traumatized (frozen from childhood/past) part.
A mere 5-second delay—before reacting—allows your logical part to kick in and prevents you from sinking deep into the reaction.
The 5-second rule can also help you turn the page more easily throughout the day.
Essentially, three deep breaths in and out allow you to slip out of the past and perceive the situation from the perspective of your present self.
And your present self is a more conscious, more experienced, more capable you.
How to Empty Your Vessel
If you don’t know how to “empty yourself,” remember what you do when you have mental gum stuck in your head?
Of course, there are people who, after arguing with someone or holding a grudge against someone, continue to walk around in that state for two weeks.
If you belong to such people, forcibly switch yourself.
You get up in the morning and, regardless of whether you were offended by someone yesterday or not, you go and rebuild the dialogue from scratch.
Act differently, in a different way. And there can be no universal recipes here.
First, you bring yourself into a corresponding even state, helping yourself with practices if necessary. Then, from this state, you take action “in a relaxed manner.”
For example, you had a fight with your husband at night and went to bed in complete disarray. You get up in the morning, having “reset and renewed” yourself, approach your husband and kiss him, without expecting anything in return.
This impulse comes from within you – from your heart.
Therefore, the question “how to do it” does not even arise for you. It is only a question of your readiness to do it, not a question of “how.”
Sometimes it is truly difficult to force yourself not to think about something.
When you were little children, you easily switched your attention from one thing to another. But now – it is so nice to savor how crappy you feel, how bad you feel, how you are suffering.
Therefore, there is nothing left to do but switch yourself over and over again.
And what is good in my life right now, and what good can I do for myself right now?
At the same time, the most ordinary action can help you.
For example, you can take the most delicious tea you have, brew it, and mindfully enjoy a cup of tea.
Or light an aromatic candle and have a conversation with yourself by candlelight.
The action does not matter. It can be the most primitive one.
If you are stuck in negative emotions, use the violet flame.
See also What the reset process affects and how to create a new space
Program yourself for good
If you don’t turn the page, you doom yourself to an endless repetition of the past/old.
By looking at the past, you program yourself to repeat it, recreating it anew.
What does a child do when they fall? They get up, dust themselves off, and run on.
What do adults do?
For example, they start inventing a cool super-concept of why what happened happened, and carry it around in their head, pouring all their attention into it.
And this has consequences in the form of new “negative manifestations” – because you didn’t turn the page.
You are engaging in self-programming.
But you are creators, which means you have every right to create whatever you wish.
Instead, program yourself for good.
For example, you can take any peak state of the day and amplify, multiply it.
If you don’t experience such states during the day, simply give thanks.
Situation analysis: how to turn the page if a partner cheated
Question: “A partner’s cheating – what is it about? How to turn the page if distrust and a desire for revenge remain in the heart?”
You can’t turn the page because you are holding on. Your desire to prove something to him, to show him, to take revenge – is stronger.
In fact, your question should not be “what is it about.”
The question you should ask yourself is: do I believe that I deserve happy, mature, trusting relationships with a person with whom I am compatible.
The next question is: do I want this?
Much depends on your focus/chosen direction.
The question “what do I want for myself?” is paramount in such situations.
You cannot stand still. You are always moving – either up or down.
What do you choose for yourself?
There are women who spend their entire lives on “I will prove it to him.” At the same time, they can achieve decent results because they are driven by a goal.
Are such women happy? As a rule, no.
If you have a wounded part, you heal it.
You do this because you believe you are one hundred percent worthy of being happy and you want to be happy.
You do not analyze or dig into why it happened and who is “to blame.” What difference does it make anyway?
You are in pain right now, and your task is to make that pain lessen. Your task is to take care of yourself.
You either do this and return to a normal state, or you continue to nurture your “trauma.”
See also Betrayal Trauma. How to Restore Emotional Balance if You Feel Betrayed
Final Summary
Turn the page.
After you have emptied yourself, fill your vessel.
If you do not, at least at night/during sleep, turn the page (leave the accumulated imbalance behind), 2023 may be a difficult year for you.
The intensity of energies will increase. Therefore, you must be ready for this gradual ascent.
When you are in total tension, stress, and overload, you cannot take off. You need to constantly bring yourself back to a relaxed state.
A relaxed state does not mean being lazy or inactive. This is about something else entirely.
It is about BEING relaxed, unstrained.
All you need to do for this is simply turn the page regularly.
This is one of the main skills you need to master in the current year.
Read more about the feeling of relaxation and how to achieve it in the second part of the article on this topic.
Have you already developed the skill of letting go, turning the page?
The article is based on a broadcast from the #conversation_on_the_couch section “Turn the Page”