Manipulators, alcoholics, liars, tyrants, cheaters – why do they cross your path? Or maybe they don’t just cross your path – maybe you’re living with one of these men?
In this article, we’ll look at the most common types of destructive (karmic) relationships and the spiritual reasons behind them.
Read to the very end – and you’ll find out what makes you step on the same rake and how to finally stop doing it.
…And I will be faithful to him forever.
(c) A. S. Pushkin. Eugene Onegin
Ask any woman why she needs a relationship with a man.
The answer is to live happily, to grow together, to love and be loved, to create a prosperous family.
But is that how things really turn out?
How does it happen that, obeying the “call of the heart,” you suddenly find yourself in destructive relationships that
- wear out your nerves,
- hit your health and wallet,
- rob you of self-belief and shatter your self-esteem?
And all the while, you “understand everything,” but it’s like you “can’t help yourself”…
As a spiritual practitioner and healer, I will describe the roots of the problem, based on the concept of relationships between souls.
The roots of the reason for your choice of the WRONG men often go beyond the usual reality, reaching into past incarnations and the space between lives.
It was then that you made certain decisions – contracts, vows, oaths – that continue to work to this day.
Channeler and writer Sal Rachele calls this phenomenon “karmic relationships.”
From here on, I will quote from Sal Rachele’s book “The Unifying Human: Soul Integration.”
The most typical type of soul relationship on Earth is karmic agreements.
Such relationships usually begin with a primary attraction in a past life, often sexual, and a desire to get to know each other more deeply.
Then, because almost no one on Earth is healed, problems arise between people, and they are not resolved in the physical life.
The pair of souls then decides to meet in a future life to continue working together on the problems that arose.
The degree of energetic tension accompanying this decision determines the difficulty of the breakup.
These agreements between souls are usually accompanied by “formulated decisions” given to higher powers, other people, or oneself – vows and oaths.
You forget about them, but they act across time and space – sometimes destroying your life.
See also Spiritual Vows and Oaths
There are several types of the most common spiritual vows and oaths. Check if they are affecting you?
How karmic relationships manifest
Meeting a “karmic partner” is usually accompanied by special, unusual states of the body and psyche.
For example, you react excessively strongly to a person you barely know.
Love at first sight? Not at all.
Essentially, you don’t know the man at all or what’s on his mind, and “plunging into the abyss of passion” is not safe for you.
For trusting relationships to develop, it would normally take months of communication.
But if this is a “karmic person,” it’s as if “something is happening to you beyond your will.”
Here is a description of typical karmic relationships from one of my clients:
“I still can’t explain what I saw in him. He didn’t even match the type of appearance I like.
But literally after the first conversation, I lost my mind. It was like I wasn’t in control of myself.
He was married, and we didn’t see each other often. But I remember this feeling of ‘illness’ — it was like I couldn’t live without him. When I said goodbye and took two steps away from him, my body would start to ache and twist, like with the flu.
One time he promised to ‘come by soon,’ but then disappeared for several days and didn’t call. I came to my senses on the third day and realized I had barely eaten anything and had been sitting by the window the whole time.
Only common sense helped me return to reality, and with an incredible effort of will, I said goodbye to him. But for several more months, I would shake at the mention of his name.
The vow was ‘With him forever.’
I am happy that this torment has finally ended.”
See also Codependency in Relationships: How It Manifests and the Path Out
Signs of Karmic Relationships and the Presence of Vows:
You stayed alone with him, knowing nothing about him.
That he is dangerous to everyone, you don’t care…
(c) Korol i Shut. The Sorcerer’s Doll
- A feeling of “kinship” or “love at first sight” — you’ve seen the man a couple of times but already “love him.”
- Uncontrollable physical attraction, even to the point of pain and heat in the body. Too quick and intense sexual contact.
- “Not being in control of yourself,” a painful, exhausting state, addiction to the man.
- Naive trust in a stranger, because “he is good and cannot deceive.”
- Far-reaching promises from the very first meetings (“I will save him,” “I will be his wife, no matter what,” “We are made for each other”).
- You constantly have heart-wrenching songs, books, or movies running through your head (Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, etc.). This indicates a strong scripted nature to your connection.
- Inability to leave him, even if you realize you are suffering and a normal relationship is impossible.
Write in the comments, are you familiar with these kinds of states? Under what circumstances did this happen to you?
Why does this happen? Let’s turn again to spiritual sources.
Agreements and vows between souls are imprinted as etheric imprints and energetic patterns of the causal body.
— Etheric body contains the template of the physical body. Many physical conditions, including illnesses, originate in the etheric body and then gradually descend into the physical.
— Causal body
has a causal connection with the other bodies of a person. It is the part of the soul that carries the memory of past lives, karma, decisions, and soul contracts.
So, you are experiencing all these strange sensations because the etheric and causal bodies powerfully influence your physical state and emotions.
To put it simply, what arises is not “love at first sight,” but an exhausting love from the past.
This state manifests so that you finally notice the presence of a problem – and free yourself and your karmic partner from this burden.
Sometimes, all it takes is simply recognizing and completing an oath or agreement.
Let’s look at the types of exhausting relationships with men – and which energy patterns (oaths, vows, decisions) you need to complete.
Karmic relationships
and their corresponding oaths
1. The man doesn’t love you
Manifestation in your life: Prolonged unrequited love.
You are in love with a person who doesn’t really need you, and you try in every way to earn their love (which is impossible).
You might even behave clingy – you feel ashamed, but you keep going…
The man may honestly reject you. This is a painful, but not the worst, scenario.
Much harder is when he coldly uses you for his own purposes for a long time.
Or, you quietly and silently pine for the unattainable, while dozens of worthy partners pass you by.
You might even rationally understand that there is no chance here. But something seems “stronger than you”…
Oaths and vows to complete: oath of eternal love, oath to “always be by his side,” oath of fidelity / devotion.
Spiritual origin:
Many times, souls make a contract to stay together forever.
This stems from a misunderstanding of the nature of the Universe, since all souls are already eternally connected to each other.
However, due to a belief in separation, souls often go to great lengths to maintain a connection with each other.
If you meet in the next life, a feeling of duty or obligation towards each other may arise.”
I would add that women with these oaths often feel resentment towards the man: “I did so much, and he still never loved me.
This is also resentment from past lives – he didn’t remember you and your love, even though you had an “agreement.”
This is precisely why such relationships are hard to end – it seems that if you wait and try a little longer, he will surely “remember.” But alas…
See also Vertical Relationships. What they are and how to build them with people
2. The man with whom marriage is impossible
Manifestation in your life: You just can’t get married.
For example, you choose married men who “feed” you promises.
Or, you date someone who expresses a reluctance to marry you. But you stay with him, hoping that “he will understand the power of your love and change his mind.”
Vows and oaths that need to be completed: a vow of celibacy, marriage vows from a past life.
Spiritual origin:
You may date men who won’t marry you for two spiritual reasons.
- Either “marriage is forbidden” for you altogether — this is a vow of celibacy, a renunciation of family for “spiritual service.”
- Or you are “already married,” meaning marriage vows and oaths from past lives are still active for you.
When feelings between people (souls) are strong, they may want to consecrate their union with a ritual and ceremony.
Such rituals can outlive the death of physical bodies and carry over into subsequent lives as energetic patterns.
Marriages don’t always last “until death do us part.” Sometimes couples maintain the intention to be together forever.
3. A man with a severe addiction
Manifestation in your life: The man you’ve chosen suffers from alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction, etc.
Another option is a “total dependence on you,” as if he is “unable to cope with life” and “couldn’t live” without your relationship.
This may be accompanied by
- his outbursts of aggression, dangerous for your life, psyche, and health;
- a lack of money — he is unable to earn enough or instantly “blows through” it;
- his “persistent” depression, suffering, talk about the meaninglessness of life and suicide;
- his suspiciousness, outbursts of jealousy, and paranoia.
Often you also get very angry and lash out at the man, yet you don’t end the relationship.
Vows and oaths that need to be completed: a vow to stay with this person no matter what (“Love is above my personal interests”), a savior’s vow, a vow to sacrifice yourself for another.
Spiritual origin:
If energy is expressed with restraint, with full recognition and acceptance of yourself and the other, no karma arises.
If either of you is in denial about what you project onto the other or receive from them, the energies of your partner embed deeper and deeper into your aura, and yours into theirs.
What is called codependency arises.
The codependent heart falls into something like this: “I accept your suffering because I love you so much that I suffer from seeing your torment. I am strong. I can handle it. Let me be your savior.”
The partners sink deeper and deeper into the quagmire of obsessive attachment, their emotions mixing together.
For example, a man may experience depression because he cannot see that for several past lives he has been taking on the negativity of another partner.
A woman may begin to feel anger because she has lived under the weight of disappointment and suppression not integrated by her partner.
4. A man — a domestic tyrant
Manifestation in your life: In your relationship with your partner, you constantly suffer.
The man may humiliate you by criticizing your values, appearance, and actions. If betrayal hurts you, he will openly flirt with other women.
Relationships are often accompanied by psychological pressure and strict control.
There can be sophisticated manipulations where you barely understand what he did — but you feel destroyed and drained.
At the same time, you may even feel guilty — and there will always be a “reason” for it.
This also includes men who commit horrible acts toward you — physical and sexual violence, major financial deception, a painful breakup with attempts to “ruin your life.”
This is one of the most dangerous types of relationships for your health and psyche.
Vows and oaths that need to be completed: a vow to atone for guilt (you believe you suffer “deservedly” because of some misdeed in a past life), a vow of “an eye for an eye” (you swore to take revenge on him in a past life, and now his behavior “gives you another reason”).
Spiritual origin:
If souls entering karmic relationships believe in revenge, betrayal, or some other ego-based negative pattern, they may think they need to settle scores from a past life or, conversely, correct an imagined wrong.
Dear ones, keep in mind this is not a punishment situation. No one demands retribution or atonement from you. It’s simply that two souls agreed to balance karma by resolving a past-life issue.
In this case, it’s enough to heal your guilt and let go of resentments.
See also: How the soul plans life lessons. Does everything depend on your choice?
Find out if you must suffer to gain wisdom, or if there are other paths.
5. An unloved, boring man for you
Manifestation in your life: You enter a relationship or marriage with a person you almost don’t love.
You feel a colossal gap between you, a mismatch of values and levels of development. You’re simply bored, lacking that “spark.”
This person hasn’t really done anything bad to you, yet you almost hate him. Though you might not admit it even to yourself. And, for some reason, you continue this relationship.
Vows and oaths that need to be completed: a vow of “Together forever,” marriage vows from past lives (they are no longer relevant but still work and keep you together).
Spiritual origin:
“Not all souls develop at the same speed.
If you have advanced faster on your path than the one you ‘owe,’ that person will hold you back.
Out of love, the soul moving forward may slow down its spiritual growth to ‘wait’ for the other. Sometimes this works.
But very often, the soul refusing to grow will pull your soul down until both become unhappy.
You may resent that he doesn’t share your spiritual aspirations.
And he gets angry because he can’t meet your expectations or understand your strange behavior.”
I’ll add that in the modern world, this situation is aggravated by many courses that teach a woman to “raise her man.”
“Make your husband a millionaire,” “If a relationship isn’t working, it’s the woman’s fault—invest even more energy into it.”
I’ve come across advice from some coaches for a woman to slow down her development and stop her self-realization “for the sake of the man.”
In reality, this might briefly “smooth over the conflict” — but in the end, it can even lead to mutual hatred.
However, decide for yourself.
6. The Unattainable “Ideal” Man
Manifestation in your life: All the men you meet “aren’t right.”
You know exactly what proper, wonderful, and elevated relationships should look like—and each time you’re disappointed, failing to achieve them with the next partner.
It’s as if you have a memory of ideal love and mutual understanding, compared to which everything else is petty fuss.
Vows and oaths that need to be completed: a vow of eternal love in high-dimensional spaces, a vow to find your twin flame, a vow of loyalty and service to higher powers (“Bride of Christ”).
Spiritual origin:
In 99.9% of cases, one member of a twin pair remains in the higher realms, while the other goes to explore the lower worlds (incarnates).
The planet has many built-in limitations to prevent premature contact with the twin flame. Uncontrollable passion would turn the earthly soul away from earthly commitments.
Such a soul would no longer want to live in the world and would think of nothing but meeting its counterpart in the higher realms.
And this is not only because the love between them is so strong that it prevents focusing on earthly matters. But also because, along with it, comes the remembrance of higher dimensions—where there is no war, poverty, suffering, etc.
Most harmonious relationships on earth are formed between soulmates (of which you have quite a few). These relationships can be quite rich and beautiful.
Completing Vows — Breaking Up or Preserving Relationships?
I’ll bring a question from the comments into this article:
“Is a joint transition with a partner to a different level of relationship possible? Of course, provided both are working on themselves. Or is it necessary to leave the relationship?”
In reality, completing a vow doesn’t always mean breaking up the relationship. It only means a sober look at the relationship.
Simply put, this “debt from the past” will stop influencing both of you. If you close karmic ties, you will see before you a real person and your relationship with them.
And you’ll be able to stay with them not out of “obligation,” but by your free choice. This can even lead to a new level of love and trust.
Or, honestly and calmly close this connection. Sometimes you have to accept that you truly need to part ways with a person to save your own psyche and life (and often — theirs too, especially in cases of codependency).
In many cases, a karmic love connection can be transformed into friendship. This man remains a dear person to you; there is simply no longer an obligation to “love him forever” and live with him.
In fact, there is far more love in parting at the right time than in maintaining mutually draining relationships.
A man may not know about all these processes and may not support them. This is essentially unimportant. By closing the vow on your side, you free both yourself and your partner.
Completing a karmic relationship can become a true gift from your soul to his soul.
We have listed only the most common types of destructive relationships and vows.
In reality, they can have hundreds of nuances and formulations. For example, they may concern not only romantic partners but also colleagues or relatives.
One woman had trouble with relationships with men because she was “married” to her mother, feeling, in her words, “an unhealthy attachment and a desire to live with her.”
See also: How to achieve understanding with loved ones
A common vow is “to sacrifice oneself for the sake of the Family Line.” It manifests as endlessly rescuing relatives, without regard for one’s own interests and health (or their desire for it).
Another girl made a vow of fidelity not in past incarnations, but in her current life:
“When I was 16, I vowed to love and be faithful to one person for my whole life; what’s more, I carved the first letter of his name on my arm with a knife.
Our paths diverged, I married his classmate, moved away, that marriage ended in a terrible tragedy, then I got married again and again… But I was never truly happy.”
Perhaps you have already recalled some limiting decisions? Share your experience in the comments!
The great joy is that dragging vows from century to century and suffering is not at all necessary.
You made these decisions of your own free will at some point, and it is within your will to complete them.
I hope this material has served as a big step in your transition to happy, love-filled relationships!