Every person throughout their conscious life essentially does the same thing: tries to adapt to themselves.
Because of this, they sometimes forget about life itself, as they strive to conform to a non-existent, illusory standard. Hence all these psychological traumas, dissatisfaction with oneself, and, automatically, with others.
But after all, a standard is a frozen, lifeless form. That means we are doomed to failure from the start. Isn’t that so?
After all, the Universe is constantly expanding. And on the same tree, different fruits appear every year, of different shapes and on different branches.
So who are we? Why do we act so contrary to our true nature, embedded by the Creator in every one of our cells?
Human cells completely renew themselves every 7 years. This idea and the thought itself have returned to me repeatedly over the past days and even months.
As Alena says — the seed has sprouted. And in this article, I want to share my insights on this topic.
I have been moving along the path of transformation for over 10 years. Now I can clearly see the stages I have passed and the state of the current stage. It is as if what was in the fog has suddenly manifested and become clear and distinct, like never before. The veil has fallen from my eyes.
I am sure this will be useful to others who still vaguely understand what is happening to them, and who are overcome by doubts, anxieties, fears, and are constantly seeking confirmation from other sources, forgetting the main source within themselves.
So, what are these stages.
Stages of transformation through deep body sensing
Stage 1. Dependence on the external
It seems to you that you are living the high life. Everything is planned, everything is under control, everything is strictly on schedule. All proprieties are observed.
All your personas are tailored to the corresponding costume. You are fully armed, on horseback. A veritable “generalissimo” in your unshakable state — a castle with high defensive walls and locked gates. Everything is locked up.
It seems this stability will be with you forever. But the soul has its own plans. At this stage, your well-being depends entirely on external attributes. You don’t even think about what is actually inside you.
See also: Balance of control and trust — how to achieve it
Control in balance, or healthy control, is a bird that controls its wings and direction in order to fly. And at the same time, it glides relaxed, feeling freedom, lightness, and the enjoyment of flight.
Stage 2. The Storm, Awakening
At this stage, something usually happens, some kind of push, a stress. It can relate to anything, but often it is health, relationships, work, family.
In my case, it was almost everything at once. You understand that things cannot continue as before, but you haven’t yet felt out or known how to do things differently.
You feel that something needs to change, something is not satisfying you, something is tormenting you, but no one can give you an exact answer.
And you begin to grope your way forward, stumbling and falling, and gradually you step more boldly along the path of life.
At this stage, the time for capitulation comes. Capitulate, otherwise all these doubts and mental EGO torments and analyses of the inventive mind will simply suffocate you.
Often, during the first storm, a person first falls into a stupor and numbness, then analyzes, trying to explain and evaluate everything logically. If a person learns to take responsibility, questions arise within them: “what is this, what is this situation teaching me, what should I see, what should I understand?”
If a person has not yet reached the starting point of their development (“I am responsible for my own life”), they begin to have other questions, even more like accusations and statements: “Why is this punishment for me, what did I do?” They look for someone to blame externally.
This is the work of the mind. The heart, meanwhile, is in hibernation, waiting to be given a voice, to be allowed to experience the situation from within, rather than trying to quickly solve, manage, fix, or camouflage it.
The mind tries to avoid unpleasant sensations and emotions as quickly as possible, to suppress them and subdue them with willpower. And this is precisely the moment when emotional blocks form, when all “ugly, wrong, negative, bad” revelations about oneself are stifled.
After all, I must be positive, beautiful, correct, and attractive. You cannot deceive your true Self, but in this situation, our Ego-Self actively manifests itself.
It does not need to be invited; it is right there, Mr. Fix-It rolls up his sleeves to “help” hide and conceal all the ugliness as skillfully and quickly as possible.
It is like in medicine: there are drugs that relieve symptoms, and there are drugs that treat the problem. Our EGO just removes the symptoms, but does not solve the real problems.
At this stage, everything becomes internally tense, unresolved and unprocessed emotions are blocked in the body, and control and willpower, or apathy and depression, take the stage.
In the body, you feel like you are falling apart. And that is true. You are thrown inward, and there are ruins and a desert… How to find an oasis?
See also: Placement of the spirit in the physical body. Symptoms of transformation
Stage 3. Finding solid ground. Getting to know yourself
When you have surrendered properly, at first you lie low until the waves subside. Let me remind you that surrender has nothing to do with phrases like: “I give up, let it all go to hell, I don’t want anything, it’s all in vain,” and so on.
Here, it is important to literally come to your senses physically and begin to realize and accept your situation exactly as it is at the moment.
So, you have surrendered, recovered a bit physically, and the strong emotions have subsided (the processed past comes out through emotions). And then the sun breaks through the sky, the sky becomes clear and transparent.
It seems to you that everything is over. But it is only just beginning. And like Robinson Crusoe, you peer into the distance and start looking for some kind of support that would help you swim to shore, get up, and feel solid ground beneath you.
And before you lies an uncharted island. It is a wealth of diverse resources, where everyone seeks and chooses their own. Spiritual quests begin. Everything is used, from the Bible, sages, and elders to visits to a psychic.
During this time, it is good to write everything down: quotes, thoughts, everything, everything. These and other searches are needed to illuminate your path at least a little, like a weak flashlight. You simply choose what resonates in your heart, what is in tune with your state.
This is a great support at the beginning, when the heart comes alive. And as you awaken internally, you begin to discern vague landmarks toward which your soul is drawn.
Read also Spiritual Awakening: How to Stay in the State of the Creator
If you have just awakened, are in confusion, and do not know what to do next, then this article is for you.
Stage 4. Tempering. On the Path to the Oasis of the Soul
At this stage, real changes occur in various areas of your life. Moreover, a change in one area automatically affects others.
For a while, a period of respite and recovery sets in, and you think everything is over.
But a new stage of trials begins. In the word “trial,” there is both “torment” and “experience.” Like in a fairy tale, you must go through a series of intricate trials to find the truth within yourself and believe in your own strength.
Such trials literally shake you, piling on in the form of diverse events that stir up a storm of emotions. They are finally allowed to come out.
You get acquainted with your shadow. You had no idea how much was locked inside you.
Over the past two years, during eclipse corridor periods, I have experienced several episodes of the “dark night of the soul.” These were sobbing fits and states of inner, universal, age-old melancholy.
Solitude, when possible, helps a lot. By some miracle, I managed to go to the dacha for a week. Just me and my cat. It was a real dissolution of everything suppressed within me for years.
It dissolved and transformed in nature, in silence, with morning practices on the grass, daily swimming in the pond, a cold summer shower, physical labor, afternoon rest with Mayne Reid, contemplation of nature, and delicious food outdoors. In the evenings, my cat and I watched favorite movies on discs.
It was a true release, healing, and an acquaintance with my authentic self.
Now, remembering those difficult periods, I am immensely grateful to myself for not giving up, not being afraid, but being able to face all my long-standing fears and suppressed, unprocessed emotions. Thank you!!!! You protected me and served me for so many years.
The transformation seminar “Dance with the Shadow 3.0” will help you accept your shadow aspects. This will allow you to know your Authentic Self and unlock inner sources of energy. Register here.
Stage 5. Crystallization. New Self
After uncovering, accepting, living through, and healing everything that was rejected and locked away, an inner calm clarity and self-awareness of oneself in a new capacity arrives.
If before you were bursting with new information and wanted to run and tell everyone, now you have gained new experience and the knowledge that something in you has shifted, something has changed irrevocably — you are new.
You truly trust yourself and your inner intuition more. There is less and less need for external, ostentatious, demonstrative validation.
In life, a synergy of events and circumstances directly connected to your state manifests. You feel your ups and downs in your skin, but now you allow yourself to be different, no longer hiding your “ugliness,” because you do not judge yourself.
You know that now you have fallen out and need to give yourself a little time to return to an equilibrium, balanced state.
You no longer write out aphorisms, but instead become a vessel through which you allow everything that fills your life to pass. You hold nothing back, accumulate nothing, allowing everything to flow freely through you and your body.
Although there are still moments when past unprocessed emotions surface from some distant corner, and anything can be a trigger.
But they no longer frighten you. There is no fear, just as there is no reproach. You look them boldly in the face and know that with their release, you open your heart to the new. For life never stands still; it constantly moves forward.
Stage 6. God is realized through me. The body always tells the truth
And now, in these new post-quarantine days, I feel the Divine presence within. And for this, there is no need to go to church.
It is enough to inhale the aroma of tea roses and wild herbs, to feel the wind and the sun’s rays on my face, to stand under a favorite tree and scan my body with my mind’s eye.
I began to observe my movements in simple everyday tasks, how my hands move when I make coffee or bake a pie. It is like watching yourself from the outside.
This is a new wonderful inner feeling of joy and fullness. Before, I would rush to yoga classes, and after the class, I would jump like a squirrel into the whirlwind of tasks, focusing only on the external, scattering the diamonds of my attention outward.
I left almost nothing for myself. Now I feel that I can return inward at any moment. Only now do I understand what it means to be with your attention in the body.
And here you can use any physical, and most importantly, conscious practice. It is important to do at least something, while focusing on your bodily sensations, for example, during a massage of the feet, knees, thighs, abdomen, décolleté area, neck, face, head, etc. All of this can be massaged independently.
At the same time, inner intuition tells you what you want at that moment, which part of the body to pay attention to. This comes intuitively.
The action itself is important, a simple active action, and it does not matter how correctly or perfectly you do it.
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Every day you are different, and your state is different; one day you spend five minutes on a body practice, another day half an hour, and on the third day you simply go into deep relaxation.
The main thing is to switch to quality, for me it is inner sensing. Without sensing, all these practices only work superficially if the mind is wandering somewhere.
The hardest thing is to stay mentally in your body. That is where centeredness and wholeness begin.
I have heard about body practices from Svetlana Dobrovolskaya many times and even did salt baths, but back then it was a simple external action from the mind, without today’s depth of truly sensing my body.
Using my own practices as an example, I affirm how thick-skinned we are, and what a struggle it is to care for ourselves every moment and learn to feel ourselves. After all, only when all these rigid layers fall away do we begin to comprehend the true inner essence of our soul and hear its voice more and more clearly.
I live and feel that God truly lives through me. I don’t need to prove anything; I only need to allow myself to live and be myself, to express myself and the qualities with which I came to planet Earth. I am as terrible as I am beautiful. I love myself in all my different forms.
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Instructions for returning joy and harmony in life.