One of the paths of development and evolution for a woman is through relationships with a man. On this path, a woman discovers herself as a precious being.
Read more about the path of development women can experience in relationships in the article.
Start with yourself
When you begin to change and work on yourself, it’s important to define your true goal. What do you want to achieve?
If you are working on yourself, it is not to fix or repair a man. This is the main focus, and it carries great significance.
Because often, a woman’s goal in changing herself is the desire to subjugate everyone around her, to adjust them to her needs, to make them convenient for her.
For her “beloved” self in quotation marks. This is not self-love, but a manifestation of egoism. And then a slow transformation begins, a turning inward toward yourself. Because everything always starts with you.
In the end, the desired changes in others may or may not happen. People may disappear, stay behind the scenes, or leave. Simply because they have no place in this new reality.
And one of the points of suffering for women is that the men who are nearby cannot keep up. It is the highest level of mastery to manage to grow together when the active, in this case, developing element is the woman.
Three stages of a woman’s evolution
1. Activation of trauma through a partner
Most often, a woman’s development in terms of finding her value and wholeness occurs through relationships. She enters a relationship based on the universal law of “like attracts like,” where her trauma is attracted to the man’s trauma.
Usually, this is either first love, the first long-term relationship, or the first marriage.
A woman attracts a man not with the same trauma, but with the directly opposite one. For example, if I am weak, I look for a strong male who will suppress me, so that I can learn to be strong.
If a woman successfully passes this lesson, she moves on to the next stage.
See also: Three types of relationships. Do ideal relationships exist?
2. Returning to yourself through healing relationships
At this stage, a partner often appears in a woman’s life who helps you return to yourself. To what you brought into the relationship, to your untainted essence.
Everything you came with, everything you embodied on this planet Earth, begins to return little by little.
I remember this process of returning to myself — turning to the details, returning to femininity. I had so much masculine strength. My story is like this — I had to be strong, I had to be the breadwinner, the earner, and so on.
My main active parameter was to gain independence, first and foremost from men. And this return of the ability to even allow myself to be weak, to depend on someone — all of this gradually returns.
So that you, with a new understanding of yourself, returned to your own roots, can build relationships on a different level. And for that, find another partner.
3. Becoming your own wholeness in an equal partnership
The next stage is equality.
You have already reclaimed your power and want to find a similar person by your side. Two forces — this is colossal. For this to happen, you need to grow very much.
Read more about this type of relationship in the article: What is partnership between a man and a woman. What factors define it.
The true woman, what is she like
A true woman needs nothing external. Because everything is inside, absolutely everything: self-love, self-acceptance. You understand that you can satisfy all your own needs.
And most importantly, a true woman has no need for validation: if he didn’t say he loves you – it means he doesn’t love you; if he didn’t give you flowers – it means he doesn’t appreciate you, it means I’m not worthy of love or value at all.
A true woman is filled from within with love and shares it, this love. I often say that love is a gift from the person who loves. It has absolutely nothing to do with whether the love is for a man, for the opposite sex.
It has nothing to do with whether that person is in your life or somewhere out there. Because it is your priceless gift, it is you who are filled with love, it is you who pour out love.
At that moment, you truly have no need for validation, reactions, or any kind of equal exchange, as in “if I now ‘pour out’ towards this person, then something should come back to me.”
None of that exists; this is in the superstructures, a higher level. You simply pour out. You have such a huge, tender attitude towards the world, you value everything around you so much.
The only thing that matters is who you direct this flow towards. And it matters, but you don’t get attached to it – that it must be only this one person.
You simply pour out without trying to change, restrain, teach, or awaken awareness. Simply because your heart desires it from within.
This is evolution.
See also: The Process of Returning to Wholeness, or How to Use Your Gift of Love
Now compare that first flawed “like attracts like” (it’s more likely “opposites attract”), healing relationships, the way we build relationships on the level of partnership and equality; and this manifestation of femininity, the feminine principle. It is all-forgiving.
The personality is hidden very far away there, but it exists, and the ego mutters. But it mutters in moments of clouded consciousness.
It can’t be said that at this moment you are fanatically disconnected from everything, that you don’t understand reality; it’s just that all of this is so petty, so insignificant…
Build Yourself
This is only one reality, one stage. But there are many different levels, and this is not the highest.
In any case, we all still evolve, and the main thing is that each of these levels has its own quirks that we have to deal with.
If you want to attract a worthy, strong man, build yourself. Because from a state of fullness, you attract someone equally full. And this is tremendous evolution and development.
Take the meditation “Evolution of a Woman” to feel the inner strength of the Feminine Principle. The meditation will help you feel filled with love, wisdom, and acceptance from within, so you can radiate these feelings outward.
We would be grateful if you share what stages of returning to yourself you have gone through or are currently going through!
The article is based on materials from the group meditation “Evolution of a Woman”
P.S. You can comment on the article in the Keys of Mastery Telegram channel.