The topics of relationships and sex are rife with distortions and false programs. This primarily concerns women.
Such misconceptions and false beliefs affect women on a daily basis.
If you are seriously troubled by problems in any area of life (for example, relationships), open-source materials on the topic will not be enough to resolve the issue. In such cases, it is necessary to consult specialized professionals.
But if problems in the area of sex and relationships are not serious, and you simply want to understand yourself and the limitations within you, then this article will be useful to you.
Read about women’s attitudes toward sex in our society, whether sex without relationships is possible without judging yourself, where the line lies between promiscuity and freedom in one’s desires, including sexual ones, and whether relationships should be created solely for sex.
What to do with sexual energy if there are no relationships or you don’t want them
The mentality of people living in the post-Soviet space limits a woman’s position to only two statuses — a woman can either be in a relationship or not. Other options are not considered at all.
For example, great sex outside of a relationship is considered impossible, as it is condemned by society.
Orgasms outside of relationships are also taboo. Moreover, this taboo is imposed not so much by society as by the woman herself — as her personal limitation.
Relationships are not needed at all for sex and orgasm.
The topic of sex is extremely taboo. Despite various sexual revolutions of the last century, in this century humanity continues to grapple with the same themes of prohibitions and distortions.
Modern women, without realizing it, primarily project themselves through two statuses — “I am either in a relationship or not in a relationship.”
In the mentality of the post-Soviet space, as in the Russian language, the words “lover” (male or female) typically imply the presence of a love triangle.
A love triangle consists of a couple and a third wheel who tries to “join in.”
Accordingly, a mistress is a woman who “intrudes into the life” of a married man, and a lover is a man who intrudes into the life of a married woman. In other words, this third person is essentially superfluous, since the two are already in a relationship.
As a result, the status of the third person involuntarily receives the stigma of a “destroyer” of existing relationships.
But there are relationships where they don’t actually exist.
Sex does not equal relationships
The mature female audience of the project often equates relationships with sex. That is, if such women do not want relationships, they automatically refuse sex in their lives.
Relationships, regardless of their official status (casual relationships or marriage, etc.), remain relationships.
Everyone grew up on the same fairy tales. One of the favorite scenarios of these tales is the story of a prince on a white horse who must come and save the princess.
Many women do not even consider the option of interacting with a man without building a relationship with him.
If a single adult woman is outside of a relationship, does not want a relationship, or does not want a relationship right now, she inevitably excludes a very important part from her life—the sexual aspect, which affects her health, longevity, and fullness of life.
Other options for such a woman simply do not exist by definition.
If you are an adult woman who has been through a lot, including more than one relationship, ask yourself: what prevents you from having several lovers at the same time?
Sex is not a relationship. You satisfy your sexual needs with a person to whom you are mutually attracted on the level of hormones, smells, and flirting.
You are free to date someone who interests you, is pleasant to you, and can satisfy you. You like one thing with one person, and another thing with another.
See also Healing Sexual Trauma
Allow yourself to go through the healing of sexual trauma written in our DNA!
Belief in one’s own inferiority as a cause of the need for relationships
The traumatized society in which you live does not even allow for the idea of the multifaceted (and multi-variant) interaction between men and women.
This is because in such a society, all relationships are built on the principle of “complementing what I lack.”
At the core of this principle lies an initial personal inferiority of the person.
A person is convinced that they are an inferior being, traumatized by society, parents, etc., and in order to somehow compensate for their deficiency, to complete themselves into wholeness, they attract to themselves what they lack, for which they immediately enter into a relationship.
Simply going on a date or going somewhere together — such an option is not even considered.
A woman immediately thinks about a relationship or a potential marriage.
In the topic of interaction between a man and a woman, the “sights are extremely misaligned.”
Look at this from the other side. If you do not have a relationship, you can suffer from not having one, or you can enjoy having no one.
For sex and orgasm, relationships are not needed. To experience an orgasm, you do not need a man or a woman at all.
Read also 4 negative programs that prevent a woman from finding happiness
Can unrealized sexual energy be “replaced” with something else
Can unrealized sexual energy be replaced (compensated) with creativity?
“Technically,” sexual energy is coarser and denser, and resides in the same place as creative energy (the area of the sacral chakra). It is commonly believed that creative energy is of the same quality as sexual energy, but with lighter and higher vibrations.
Due to the similarity of these energies, many people, mistakenly, try to compensate for lack of fulfillment in sex with creativity.
You know from history that many destructive events (the Crusades, religious conflicts, etc.) were carried out with aggression that was a consequence of suppressed sexual energy.
Many women suppress their sexual desires. They practice celibacy – solely because of the absence of relationships in their lives.
If a woman has no relationship but has a child, she prefers to invest herself entirely in motherhood. If a woman has no relationship and no children, she invests in creativity or career, and simply erases sex from her life.
According to the basic Cosmic Law, all energy, all spheres of life must be balanced and harmonious.
Remember that sexual imbalance and suppressed sexuality lead to various diseases in the body. In a woman, the entire female reproductive system suffers as a result.
You cannot be healthy by definition if you suppress natural sexual desires.
See also How the state of your chakras affects relationships in a couple
Let’s consider why it is important for chakras to be balanced in order to create high-quality partnerships.
Satisfying your sexual desires vs. promiscuity
If satisfying your sexual desires involuntarily evokes associations with promiscuity, only you can determine for yourself what promiscuity means to you.
Everyone answers this question for themselves.
Promiscuity has nothing to do with having healthy sex with a person you like and who sexually arouses you.
If you think otherwise, you are probably stuck in the mindset of Soviet times, when being a “divorcee” became a lifelong stigma.
In your head, an “old Soviet grandmother” or other characters from an outdated role-playing game continue to reside.
It is time to clear out non-working patterns.
Reflect, find your own answers to questions about what sex, promiscuity, a dissolute person, etc., mean to you. Regardless of societal norms, form your own independent answers.
This is your life, and only you define yourself in one way or another and make your choices.
Is being “out of a relationship” “bad”?
A common limiting program assigns a negative meaning to the status of “out of a relationship.”
There is nothing wrong with being without a relationship for some time.
This time is necessary for you to understand who you are, what you represent, what you want in life, and where you are heading.
A question for this limiting program: how long should the period “without a relationship” last so that society does not brand you with “something is wrong with this woman”?
There are people who strive at any cost to maintain the status of “I am in a relationship.”
Such people don’t have time to leave one relationship before they immediately enter another.
This is how “trauma to trauma” relationships play out, through which a person seeks to fill their own voids in order to be something.
Who thinks it’s abnormal to be alone for three years?
Do not confuse the concepts of “being alone/outside a relationship” and “not having orgasms.”
If you practice celibacy for three years and deny yourself orgasms, you can indeed destroy yourself during that time.
But if you feel perfectly fine sexually and simply choose to be outside a relationship because you understand what you are doing, that is a completely different story.
“Outside a relationship” can be your conscious choice.
This choice does not at all mean that while you are outside a relationship, you deny yourself meetings with men, sexual dates, self-pleasure, etc.
In the same way, you can learn to be harmonious in the relationships you have now.
See also “Good Girl” or Woman Creating. Which one do you choose to be?
Any woman will list a whole set of rules, functions, and requirements that an ideal daughter, student, wife, employee, mother must meet… If considered in general, this list comes down to a few points. Read about them in the article.
What programs regarding relationships and sex have you encountered in life?
The article is based on a broadcast within the rubric #conversation_on_the_couch “The Main Relationships in Life”