Many people live on autopilot. But those who engage in spiritual development strive for mindfulness.
In this article, we will examine how defensive emotional reactions arise and which mindfulness practices can help turn them off.
Life on Autopilot
We live like robots, on autopilot. Our body automatically executes the commands that are in the subconscious, which, in turn, come from the DNA.
And in the DNA lies the code of our life, a certain scenario, what is important for us to embody here, what to create, and most importantly, the path of evolution of our consciousness is laid out. It consists of the genetic lines of our parents, who received it from theirs, and so on from the beginning of time.
Everything possible is embedded in us, everything that exists in the collective consciousness, just some facets are most vividly expressed.
Everything that is important for us to experience in this incarnation is embedded in the DNA. From the shadow aspects that we need to transform, and thus fill with the light of our awareness, to the enlightened state of consciousness, when the light of our truth, of our I Am, completely floods our body, our form, and all inner pain and fears dissolve. We connect with ourselves.
And this path lies through the revelation of our best qualities, abilities, talents, and genius. When we emerge from the state of victimhood and become conscious, happy, joyful, and loving people. Loving and accepting ourselves, first and foremost.
And, of course, this is only possible by raising our vibrations, the frequencies of our consciousness, when the darkness (as the illusion of duality, the illusion of separation) dissipates, and we increasingly manifest our light, and thus increasingly connect with our true self.
But at the beginning of life’s journey, we grow and gradually begin to “fill up” with the limitations and patterns of this world.
The older we get, the more these limitations manifest. Defensive reactions also appear, through which we try to protect ourselves.
Take the meditation “Embodiment of Your Best Self” to plant a seed in the Higher Heart for its manifestation in reality.
How the Clouds Disperse
But it’s not all that scary, because as soon as we begin to become aware of ourselves and move toward meeting our true self, all these limitations, or shadows, like clouds, begin to disperse. In one way or another. Of course, this requires putting in considerable effort.
Since I am a child of the Soviet Union, from a time when not only mobile phones and the internet were unheard of, but even ordinary telephones were not in homes, it has taken me 22 years to this day to begin to understand what’s what here in this “reality.”
Young people are luckier; now everything imaginable and even the unimaginable is available. All kinds of information about self-knowledge, self-development, spiritual and personal growth. Grow and develop!
I’ll return to our automation.) There are now methods through which you can very clearly see these programs that we run on autopilot, and our body executes them.
For example, I have a shadow that triggered a reaction to run away, to leave in any difficult relationship situation. Physically, I would leave. I would simply turn around and walk away. And the body did it on its own. Automatically. As if the mind and consciousness switched off and were not involved.
Afterward, I would suffer terribly and blame myself. But relationships would deteriorate, often for a very long time. Now, of course, all that is in the past. I’m telling you this to better show you the nature of these things. Although, I think many of you know this firsthand.
I want to say that until we understand ourselves, our reactions, our negative qualities (conditionally negative, of course, because there is no good or bad), our shadow aspects — in a word — we act on autopilot. On automatic pilot.
And here I come to the most important point: based on what I said above, there is no one to blame or take offense at!
To understand yourself and accept your shadow aspects, we recommend attending the transformation seminar «Dance with the Shadow 3.0».
Defensive reaction of the inner child
Why blame yourself? It is embedded in the DNA. Here, of course, it is your responsibility not to justify the unseemly actions you take consciously. This is not about those at all, but about the reactions that arise spontaneously. In a flash — and you reacted.
As a rule, in such cases we act like small, frightened children or teenagers who are afraid, defending themselves as best they can from the pain that is inside.
And if you still have these reactions that repeat over and over and spoil your relationships, your life — it means there is still some internal, very active pain within you. And it also means that you are “stuck” at the age where its source lies. And that is either a small child or a teenager.
If the reactions are more emotional — then, most likely, these are still childhood reactions. And if the mind is already defending itself — this manifests as a rebellious teenager.
Often people never grow up, unfortunately. And they remain in old patterns of reactions and behavior.
What to do about it? How to break free from these terrible patterns and reactions that poison life? For this, I offer three mindfulness practices.
See also Healing the Shadow. The space of accepting inner demons
Living in the unconscious, Shadows break out – through illnesses, breakdowns, guilt, through hysterics, whims, through what can be called inappropriate behavior.
Read what to do with them and what practice will help accept them.
Mindfulness practices
Healing the inner child
The first thing you can do is to see this little child or teenager within yourself. Get to know them, hug them, caress them, tell them that everything is fine, that there is no need to be afraid anymore.
Sit down in a comfortable and quiet place where you will be alone and no one will disturb you. Relax, take a few deep breaths in and out, feel your body relaxing. Let go of your thoughts. You are calm and relaxed.
Now imagine that you are in a beautiful garden, birds are singing, flowers are blooming. You walk along an alley, surrounded by flowering trees. And then you approach a lake and see a little child on the shore, and you realize that it is you yourself. This is the most precious thing you have…
You come closer and can already see – what do they look like, how old are they, what are they doing, what are they occupied with?
Now you have approached them and see them very close. Greet them. Ask them how they are feeling? Let them tell you what they have wanted to say for so long. Hug them, pick them up…
Ask – what do they want most right now? Perhaps it is a toy, or some thing, or maybe it is a feeling of love, care, and support that they lacked so much. Or perhaps it is recognition of their talents. Or something else.
Now place him on the ground and imagine that in your hands appears what your inner child needs – some object or ball of energy, if it is a feeling. Or whatever you see yourself. And give it to your little one, imagine him taking it and that he is very happy!
See how he fills with light, with the energy of joy, happiness! How he starts to play, to have fun. Play together with him!
What kind of game is it? Is it a game of ball or tag? Or playing with dolls?… Or are you just going for a walk along the lake shore… Or maybe you will just sit with him, hugging on a bench. Or you will tell him about yourself.
Gradually, the child begins to become saturated. He now has enough of your love, your warmth, your communication.
Hug your little one and say goodbye to him. And tell him that you will come to him again to play. Maybe you will come to him every evening before bed, maybe a little less often.
Imagine that you are walking back, from the lake into the depths of the garden along the alley, and with each step you are approaching yourself now… Feel yourself in your body, feel it, move your arms and legs, stretch… and open your eyes, you have returned to the moment here and now.
Love yourself and your inner child!
You can do this practice, this meditation, every day or whenever you want.
See also 3 opportunities for healing
Healing the inner child, healing the adolescent “I” and initiation from Kuthumi-Agrippa.
See the inner child of the person you are communicating with
There is also a second practice.
Let’s look from the other side – the person opposite you is exactly the same little frightened child who is afraid and acts under the influence of ingrained reactions. He simply cannot do otherwise. He does not know how.
And if you see this child in your opponent, you will immediately understand that there is no one to take offense at and no one to blame.
And you can do the practice described above, imagining your loved one with whom you cannot find common ground as a child instead of your inner child. And do the same thing.
See also 9 ideas for applying the Pyramid of Light and Power technique
Observing your reactions
Observe yourself and your reactions. It is as if you become an observer of yourself and begin to look at yourself from the outside. This helps to see and track how and when your reactions are triggered.
If at first you “wake up” after an unpleasant situation, then by continuing to practice, you will notice your reactions already during, and then before the start of a conflict. Time and a desire for freedom are important here!
See also How our reactive mind works and what are the conditions for taming it
Over time, you will see how your relationship with your inner child comes to a state of love and harmony. And then your relationship with yourself will improve. Forgiveness, acceptance, and love will come. Your inner light will turn on!
And your automatic reactions will appear less and less often.
And, most importantly, you will begin to belong to yourself and become more conscious and mature people. And your inner child will also be joyful and happy.
Of course, many more steps need to be taken on this path of connecting with yourself. However, the steps I have described are very important! I wish you inner and outer harmony!