Most people have a misunderstanding of what acceptance is.
The word «agreement» runs like a red thread through many topics. If I accept, it means I agree. Hence the difficulty arises in accepting certain circumstances, someone else’s opinion, or opposing views on life.
What acceptance actually means and how to accept what is difficult or even impossible, read in this article.
Why it is hard for us to accept
The further we enter into high-vibrational energies, the more we internally eliminate divisions. We not only need to integrate opposing concepts within ourselves and see them as a single whole, but this is a very difficult process for the psyche.
Especially when issues are tied to values: what is life, do I have the right to take someone’s life, facilitate this, or remain silent.
This is not only an internal unification of different conceptual things to achieve a single whole, but also total misunderstanding and disagreement.
We need to learn to communicate and interact not from the personality, but from higher aspects, with those with whom you categorically do not align or categorically disagree.
If you diverge specifically in views based on values, it is very difficult to build interaction.
A simple example: I am against war, you are for it — how do we talk to each other?
We all remember 2022, when families split apart and relatives stopped communicating with each other.
How to learn to interact when something is unacceptable to you? And how to accept it when the thought persists: if I accept, it means I support or agree?
But without acceptance, moving forward is impossible. You are constantly in an internal conflict that destroys you.
Therefore, you need to somehow untie this within yourself.
Acceptance = acknowledging the fact — it exists.
Because most people run from facts, living in the illusions of their own mind, a heap of guesses, assumptions, fantasies. We have an abundance of this.
There are many assumptions, omissions, and understatements, because we measure everyone by ourselves.
Measuring others by oneself is one of the traits that is now being revealed. Heard some phrase, found a match, the mind filters out the rest: that’s it, we match.
It doesn’t matter what the person said next, what they were talking about, the main thing is there is a match.
But the fact that there is a completely different story, and in both quantitative and qualitative terms everything might be entirely different, is filtered out by the person, because the important thing was to match.
The criterion is “he is just like me.”
And so illusions and delusions begin to multiply, which later are shattered very painfully.
And in this case, it’s not about being enchanted, but about seeking commonality — to find as many people as possible who are just like me, especially when you are from our club of white crows.
Commonality is easily found when people are liked or at least are appealing. But how do you find something in common with a person who disgusts you, when you don’t share basic values with that person?
This is important to me, but he acts completely differently. How to find this commonality, or rather, how to want to seek it?
See also How to deal with non-acceptance of war, destruction
Allowing others to be different. The strength to do things your own way as a sign of separation
In the end, it all comes down to us not allowing others to be different.
Hence these attempts to control, husbands, grown children.
As you remember, the world is a mirror, and everything reflected there is me.
How can one come to terms with oneself if I clearly see that I do not accept, do not tolerate, do not allow others to think differently, act differently, make different choices, starting with the closest relatives, family members.
Which of you is raising your men? Or, conversely, when men are raising you.
I am always surprised and admire when someone tells me what video I need to watch. It surprises me when friends, acquaintances send various videos, links, I really like it when subscribers start recommending something. And there is a storm of indignation in response when I refuse.
This is a widespread trend among us. I am not even talking about personal boundaries, where one can intrude and where one cannot.
Use mantras of acceptance: I allow people to be who they are, to accept that they have every right to think as they think, to make the choices they make, to make their own decisions, and not ones that please me.
One of the signs of separation is the ability to defend one’s point of view, when a person, despite external pressure (parents, husband, friends against it), has the strength to say: “I will do it my way, regardless of the fact that you don’t like it.”
For this, one should give a standing ovation.
80-90% of our population is in varying degrees of codependency. And those rare cases when a person can go against it, and this is a very good marker, not to adapt, not to agree, not to make oneself invisible and unheard. This requires considerable courage, especially if you are in an echo chamber, where everyone is supposedly like-minded.
See also The Echo Chamber Effect. Why people fall into the trap of acquiescence
How acceptance is taught. Examples
The developers of our application have been teaching me acceptance all year.
Since I’m a perfectionist, I need everything to work, and if it doesn’t, I need it resolved quickly. Waiting at least two weeks, or even a month, is way too long.
Programmers are a separate breed of people. You first have to prove to them that you understand what you’re talking about, get past all their excuses, and only then do they engage and start doing something.
This takes a very long time. I have to tell clients that everything will be fixed. It’s just that there are things only they can fix.
This has really leveled me up in terms of acceptance. At first you blush, then you turn pale in front of people, and then you fall into a state of acceptance. You accept them for who they are.
If something is new, there will be a few screw-ups. After testing and making sure everything is fine, then you can release it to people.
But it was hard to accept that professionals can screw up endlessly like that, essentially throwing you under the bus.
Now my team and I laugh, watching to see if they broke anything with the update.
Comment: “Especially now at my new job, with the team and the boss who just doesn’t know how to communicate and organize work. But do I have to accept him as he is?”
Admit it — this person is in the wrong place, especially if it’s a post-Soviet country. Remember, we had bosses who were tough, always right, and never listened to anyone?
There are leaders, there are organizers, and there are bosses. Unfortunately, we still have plenty of bosses who don’t listen to anyone, think they have the right to yell at subordinates, and act rudely.
There are plenty of such cases in different layers, regardless of business size. Just like there are still saleswomen who can be rude, which is surprising, since they earn money by serving people. The more you serve, the more you sell, the better the result.
Acceptance is acknowledging that something is. And that is a big, bold period.
Write down for yourself, at least half a page, what acceptance of a person or a situation means to you.
For example, to accept means to acknowledge that he is a lousy manager.
There is no particular difficulty in this. It is simply a fact. But many people cannot name facts; they do not distinguish them from conjectures and interpretations.
The biochemical and hormonal part has not caught up with the mental part. Behind every phrase we utter, there is our own mental interpretation, depending on our mood, physical well-being, and many other factors. Not to mention trauma.
Interpretations are the main scourge; from them come assumptions, conjectures, guesses, and suppositions.
See also Cognitive distortions, interpretations of the mind. What they can lead to and how to train yourself to see facts
The mind trap “accept = agree = support”
When this acceptance/non-acceptance arises, these are mind traps.
There is usually something else hidden there, and that something else needs to be brought out.
Acknowledge the fact. Sometimes it is difficult to acknowledge the fact that people die, that cancer still hasn’t been cured; it is difficult to acknowledge some serious things.
That the world we live in is quite cruel, because by accepting it, I agree with it, and therefore support it.
That’s the logic. Trace it yourself, write it down, and you will see this logic.
And from there, you can get to the point where I am so bad because I share it. And hence we live in this world devoid of facts.
Because we know how to beat around the bush, but to honestly say something — we cannot.
Acknowledge the bare fact, leave everything else aside, and then there are no problems with it.
When you turn the same thing onto yourself, that’s where it gets difficult, because it’s easy to admit that he’s a jerk, she’s a fool, but turning it onto yourself is not easy, especially when you’ve blamed other people for your troubles your whole life.
When we analyzed the characteristics of 5D, 4D, 3D, from separation, competition, opposition — the main principles on which the 3D world is based — to transition into unity, love, and all that chocolatey stuff, into 5D, it is possible through taking responsibility upon yourself.
There are no other options, because there, due to instant manifestation, it is important to feel good, to think about good things. Responsibility is needed there. Monkeys with a grenade are not needed there. No one will sit next to a monkey with a grenade that might accidentally pull the pin.
Therefore, acceptance and acknowledgment are important; it’s impossible without them. Bare acceptance, acknowledgment of the fact.
It is very difficult to acknowledge facts about yourself, because in 3D someone else is always to blame, in 5D you are the real creator who creates worlds. And between them is a huge space.
That’s why it begins with returning responsibility to yourself — it’s not he who is to blame, but I am to blame — and that is difficult.
You spend your whole life wasting a huge amount of energy on not calling things by their real names. Well, if you quack like a duck, flap your wings like a duck, then you’re probably a duck. No, I won’t admit that.
How successful are you at developing the skill of acceptance? What have you managed to accept as a fact, and what are you still struggling with?