This article is for those who feel like a black sheep among their surroundings. Perhaps after reading it, you will recognize yourself.
And if until now you have not uncovered or accepted your gift, your uniqueness, yourself as such, this story will help you find inspiration.
“Not of This World”
When I was little, I wanted to be like the other children, to be like everyone else. I know we all feel a little different inside. Some people are very clearly aware of being “not of this world,” as was and still is the case for me.
As a little girl, I desperately wanted to be loved, noticed, valued, understood, and accepted.
But in reality, that wasn’t the case.
Personally, I deeply believe that we are all born with our own talents and special abilities, and they are meant to be shared with the world, with people, and it doesn’t matter if you are famous or an ordinary person.
For example, the cheerful and funny boy in class gives his classmates the gift of making others laugh and lifting their spirits.
Celine Dion gives the beauty of her voice to the world and its people. Their talents are simple in concept and easy for many people to understand.
But what if your gift challenges and doesn’t fit the society you live in? What do you do if your gift isn’t quite understood by the people around you?
A simple way to define your uniqueness
The Gift of Empathy, of High Sensitivity
I was born with such a gift, a quality that can make the people around me feel uncomfortable. It is both a gift — and at the same time a heavy burden — the gift of high sensitivity.
If you don’t know how this can manifest in life — it is energetically feeling the emotional heaviness of other people after you have interacted with them.
You experience people’s feelings such as their anxiety, depression, fear, and anger.
You understand the deeper, hidden meaning of the words people say; you see the bigger picture hiding behind people’s smiles. You simply “read” other people’s feelings.
I know this is very energetically draining…
I remember myself at the age of 6, walking through my hometown of Odessa with my parents, seeing stray dogs and cats wandering the city streets hungry, miserable, and scruffy — I would cry for hours, hiding so no one would see me crying — it was hard for me, my mind constantly returned to the poor animals.
I also cried seeing the suffering and grief of people, in life, in movies… people I didn’t know at all and was seeing for the first time, but I felt their pain and suffering. And so it was day after day, a constant inner feeling of longing and sadness from what I saw and experienced.
Do you understand what it’s like to be born highly sensitive and to let all of this pass through you, especially as a child?
See also Empathy — Not a Life Sentence. How to Cope with What Seems to Be Destroying You and Your Life
Rejection of Self
As you know, in our country it was not customary to show your emotions, at least in my distant childhood in the 70s….
I clearly remember how it was completely unacceptable for those around me to see crying children. When you are a child, and you are crying, and people are yelling at you. And the more a child cries, the more they yell at them.
I remember myself at the age of 7, when I had just started first grade and wrote the number 2 not the way my first teacher wanted. She started yelling and scolding me in front of the whole class, shaming me, humiliating me, making it clear to everyone that I was stupid and out of place…
At that moment, a fear was born in my child’s consciousness that it was completely unsafe for me to be different, to stand out, and to simply be myself.
Experiencing such moments day after day, I began to judge myself… my sense of self-worth was lost. On a deep level, I felt that I was unacceptable in society, misunderstood, and not accepted.
As a result, instead of focusing on myself, on my needs, on my desires, I began to focus only on the needs and desires of other people.
I was afraid to say “no” to people because I wanted to be valued and loved. Unconsciously, I was “buying” love from others, from those around me, by playing the “good girl,” and in the end, I lived by pleasing others.
I lived a life in constant fear of punishment, I was “hiding.” And do you know what it’s like to live a false life?
It requires a lot of energy, energy to fight against who you are on the inside. Much more energy than simply being yourself and living in your purpose.
I decided to change my life when the pain of being stuck in such a vicious circle became greater than my own fear of change.
See also 6 ways that will help you learn to accept yourself
Embracing Your Uniqueness
I gradually began to “leave” behind this woman who pleases everyone and hides her tears, when I suddenly realized that the purpose of every rosebud is to bloom into a rose, not a tulip.
I didn’t need to bloom into someone I wasn’t truly. I was born to bloom into MYSELF.
I went through a huge journey of inner transformation, of my inner limitations, and created a completely new inner image of myself.
After moving from the big city of New York to Florida, a place that is my destiny location according to my birth date, my life began to change for the better day by day.
Spending every day in nature, since the climate allows it, my heart began to open more and more to the inner Master, my intuition, my beautiful Soul.
My intuition reached a completely new level of perceiving the world, my self-esteem began to acquire a sense of self-worth not only as a woman named Svetlana, but also as a huge and important part of the divine plan itself. Methods came into my life that helped me discover my true purpose here on earth and work through my inner limitations.
I hid my sensitivity for too many years. But little by little, I began to accept my sensitivity and discovered that there is a GIFT in it.
Sensitive people are compassionate toward others; this is a quality that our world desperately needs. I discovered that it is not only not shameful, but it truly matters to the world around us, to the Creator.
My struggle with myself, with who I was truly born to be, was so great for me that now I help others find their way back to themselves.
Sensitive people often become mentors, coaches, and psychologists because they understand people’s suffering and states. Such people can be an example for others of how to live life with an open heart.
When I become who I was truly born to be with each passing day, I won’t tell you it wasn’t scary. It is scary and frightening to talk about those parts of myself that hold immense meaning in my life — like my creativity, my intuition, and my deep spirituality. Because the external critics are out there; and they will always be there.
But what changes the game is when the inner critic, the one inside your head, stops believing those judgmental voices and can finally say “no” to everyone. That’s when the external critics can no longer harm you.
See also: How to Live with Empathy – Tips from a Highly Sensitive Person
As you can see, a highly sensitive person can face many difficulties…
But there is also another side.
While we very sensitive people may cry more tears than others, we also live life with deep joy.
And here’s the most amazing surprise: after I live more and more as who I was truly born to be, I discovered that I am equally just like everyone else, and at the same time, different.
Do I love my child, do I like a beautiful manicure — I experience the same emotions as everyone else. Finally connected with myself, I feel more connected than ever to other people and the world around me. I no longer feel alone.
And this is the greatest GIFT of all.