I am grateful to my parents for teaching me one of the most valuable qualities of the modern era — RESPONSIBILITY.
True, their understanding of responsibility absolutely did NOT take into account my personal interests and desires…
And it took me years of hard work to realize: the only person I “owe” anything to is MYSELF, and no one else.
I learned to set boundaries and say “no” where it was needed…
I learned not to take responsibility for other people’s choices/decisions/actions, stopping myself from rushing to help at the first call…
I learned to put myself first, understanding that in a resourceful state, I can give so much more to the people close to me…
Does this mean I have become IR-responsible?
Of course, NO.
Rather, a rethinking and re-evaluation of the very concept of “responsibility” has taken place.
This article is based on the training webinar “Once Again About Responsibility.” This webinar is one of the very first… but it has not lost its relevance. You can download the recording using the link at the end of the article.
What is Responsibility
Responsibility is when a person realizes that everything happening in their life — their states, emotions, events at work and in their personal life — is the result, the consequence of their actions, deeds, and way of looking at the world.
Responsibility = I Must
We all grew up in a society where we were told that you are obliged to do this, you must do that, and so on. Then came the understanding that I don’t owe anything to anyone.
I suggest drawing a distinction between responsibility and obligation. Obligation is a certain external call to a person, something imposed on them. Responsibility, on the other hand, is what a person takes upon themselves.
If you carefully think about the actions you perform daily, it turns out that we take on a colossal amount of responsibility, and we do it ourselves — no one asks us to — and we carry this burden.
There are also alternative cases where a person is not aware of responsibility and approaches many issues irresponsibly. But more often, our audience consists of people of the first type.
Over the course of a few days, analyze the situations you find yourself in where you gave up responsibility, and then realized it and took it back. And conversely, where you take on too much.
See also: How to Stop Sacrificing Yourself Without Being an Egoist
Responsibility Test
I suggest answering a few questions for yourself, authored by Zig Ziglar — a famous writer, consultant, and motivational speaker.
- Do you believe there is a specific action you can take within the next two weeks that would make your personal, family, and business life worse?
- Do you believe there is a specific action you can take within the next two weeks that would make your personal, family, and business life better?
- Do you believe the choice between these two actions is up to you?
- Do you believe that every choice you make leads to some final result?
You need to answer “yes” or “no.”
If you answered “yes” to each of the 4 questions or to most of them, then you have agreed that you are not concerned with how bad your past was, nor with how bad or good your current situation is.
But there is a certain specific action, a choice, that you can make right now, which will make your future better or worse. Moreover, this choice belongs only to you.
All of this means that you are not a victim; you can take many actions that will make your life either worse or better. And it depends only on you whether you make the right choice.
Acknowledging this takes you out of the blame game and puts you on a path that leads directly to becoming more, doing more, and having more.
If you answered these questions sincerely, giving affirmative answers, then you truly take responsibility for your own future, and you are one step away from tremendous changes and serious progress in your life.
By deciding to take responsibility for your own actions, you have thereby taken responsibility for your future. The significance and consequences of this decision are almost equivalent to an earthquake. Because until you take responsibility for your future, it is left to chance.
The most important thing you can do right now is to take responsibility for creating your reality.
See also: How to Get Out of the Victim State
What You Are Responsible For
Think about what you personally are responsible for. You can write your answers in the comments.
My opinion on what I am personally responsible for is my truth. Everyone has their own truth. Sometimes everything goes smoothly and well, and then suddenly a setback occurs. One reason for this is that you are not hiding your truth. You stayed silent there, didn’t want to offend someone, held back here. That is, you are not expressing the feelings that are inside you; you are hiding them.
I am also responsible for my energy.
It is important to understand where and on what your energy is spent. There is a basic principle: wherever your attention is directed, your energy goes there, and that thing is magnified in your life.
If you focus on negative events and news, the level of anxiety and fear inside you and around you increases. Thus, the likelihood of troubles appearing in your life increases.
In addition, I am responsible for my choices, which I wrote about above, as well as for my happiness, for self-love, for my inner state.
If you are unhappy, you cannot help anyone. There are people from the spiritual community who constantly participate in various collective meditations for peace, for the preservation of the planet, and so on. It seems like a noble mission, a good intention. But if you ask them: are you happy? do you love yourself? I think not everyone will answer affirmatively.
A person does not want to work on themselves, love and take care of themselves; instead, they want to save the planet, engage in service, transmitting a distorted feeling of love and happiness outward.
It is unlikely that such a person can help other people or the planet if they themselves feel bad at that moment.
The main principle of creation — to help others, you yourself must feel comfortable and be in a state of self-love. Therefore, taking responsibility for your own happiness is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
See also: 6 myths about spirituality. Who is a spiritual master
How responsibility manifests
Absolutely everything depends on our choices. We place ourselves at the center of the universe. There is only I. There is no external world for you, there is only you, and you are responsible only for what happens to you in your life.
The law of cause and effect has not been repealed. If something you don’t like is happening in your life, it is the result of your past choices. If you want to change your future, you have a unique opportunity here and now to make a different decision. It’s strange to expect some new result if you keep doing the same thing over and over.
To change something, honestly look at the situation, be honest with yourself. Many people go through lessons of responsibility when it’s hard for them to admit that your life is your own creation.
Many have childhood or adolescent traumas, because of which they later had to abandon their truth. Honesty with yourself is the first step on the path to your authenticity and unlocking inner reserves.
To realize what is happening, clearly say to yourself: “yes, this works for me.” When you admit it to yourself, you can get unstuck.
Several times throughout the day, ask yourself questions: “where am I and what am I?”, “what am I feeling right now?”, “what do I want to say?”, “what do I want to express but am not expressing?”
These are simple questions, but they help you stay conscious. Many people perform actions without thinking about the consequences.
We invite you to take the free introductory course “Cosmic Laws” to better understand how the universe works and what role you play in it.
Traps on the path of responsibility
- Passivity. Sometimes people are aware of a problem, but the result is zero. This happens due to a lack of action. Sometimes self-sabotage occurs. The ego is afraid of changes in life, and so you take no action. Responsibility includes action. You make a choice and confirm it with some action.
- Hyperactivity. This is when a socially active person, who has taken on too much, barely drags themselves along and eventually collapses. There is no energy left for personal life or personal interests. Here it’s important to understand what role you play in certain projects and why you are doing it. Do you even need all of this?
- Responsibility for everyone except yourself. You take responsibility for your husband, wife, parents, children, forgetting about yourself.
How far does your responsibility extend
Besides yourself, we are responsible for minor children. Moreover, we are energetically connected to children up to the age of 16. After that, they go through a process of gaining experience and the energetic connection with parents is broken.
Ideally, after a child reaches adulthood, parents should lay down their responsibility and give children the chance to express themselves and develop their own sense of responsibility.
If we take our parents, most of us have a situation where they are living your life. It’s hard for them to admit that you don’t need them, that each person has themselves and nothing else is needed.
When you let people go, you allow them to develop individually on their own. After some time, they return to us without a karmic connection, without any hooks, and so on.
Letting go of loved ones and releasing responsibility for their lives doesn’t mean you have no interest in them, it doesn’t mean you don’t love them or feel compassion. You simply are not trying to control them.
Honestly look at your relationships with your loved ones: husbands, wives, grown children, parents. What is happening in your relationships with them?
A true creator takes absolute responsibility for their own life.
A true creator completely and fully refrains from taking responsibility for anyone else.
The most important thing you can do for others: love yourself, be happy, and enjoy every day of life.
See also Relationships with Children. What is the responsibility for a child from a spiritual perspective
Global Responsibility
What does a person’s responsibility entail on a global level?
Here we are talking about service. Before, to exist on this planet, you either had to go through suffering or choose the path of service. Now service is a choice.
Service and your responsibility on a global level is the amount of time you spend expressing pure love.
If you choose the path of service, choose to lead other people, then your task is to show them what you personally did to end up in the place where you are now, to share your experience.
See also Transition from Suffering to a Mission of Service
Collective Responsibility
By this concept, I mean responsibility within a collective, a family.
If you take on responsibility for the collective, you must understand that you are not responsible for a specific person. Just as another person does not take responsibility for you.
In a group or collective, it is important to align the measure of each person’s responsibility, the role of each person, to agree on who is responsible for what.
This eliminates scenarios where one person carries a lot on their shoulders while another is hardly responsible for anything. From an energetic perspective, if one person puts in a lot and others put in little, it will show up very quickly.
It is important to understand that you do not control other people; they are free and have the right to go their own way if they realize that the joint path is no longer possible. Here it is important to learn to let people go.
If everyone in the group accepts that they are responsible for themselves and for fulfilling the agreements, life would be much easier for all of us.