There is a category of women who dream of living off their husband. And another category — women who have been burned and prefer not to depend on men in any way.
In this article, using examples from comments by our readers and subscribers, we will examine both the first and second options. Also read about how a woman can claim her power.
Work for pleasure or not work at all
Many believe that a woman should work for pleasure or not work at all (in a partnership).
Comment: “And I believe that upon entering marriage, a woman’s quality of life should increase. Otherwise, what is marriage for?”
You love at the level of the first chakra — money.
For me, marriage is about relationships, about spiritual connection, about kinship of souls and love, not mercantilism.
Based on your option, I should not have gotten involved with Maris at all because, at the time, he arrived with one small suitcase, and everything he had, he left to his children.
I see that in your case, your unprocessed traumas are speaking.
In principle, both men and women should work — for pleasure.
Otherwise, you get a “strange” model: the man “must” toil without pleasure, simply because he supposedly “must,” while the woman flutters like a butterfly, and if she works, it is only for pleasure.
In reality, there are many such stories. For example, a wealthy businessman buys his bored wife a hairdressing salon or a small shop so that she does not whine and bother him out of idleness.
And it is not even about profit, just as long as it is not at a loss — the main thing is that it brings pleasure.
See also Working for yourself from the perspective of energy and spirituality. 5 points you need to consider
For Women Dreaming of Living Off Their Husband
If you want to stay at home and do nothing, and your husband agrees to it, do as you please.
Arrangements in a couple can vary. For example, a woman may take care of the home and raising children, while the man earns the income.
But you negotiate all of this with your partner.
You may be unmarried and hope to find a husband thanks to whom you will not have to work. Then you must clearly understand that you have no support in life’s circumstances.
Such a story should be well known to women who have had to go through a divorce with young children or raise children alone.
These women know what it is like when you can only rely on yourself. Life can be unpredictable.
Women always enter relationships hoping it will be good and long-lasting. But situations can be different and most unexpected.
Therefore, when you continue to count on someone else as your support, be prepared for the possibility of being left with nothing.
You will have no profession, no financial safety net, nothing to lean on. This is a moment of your strength.
There are people who just wait for someone to come and take care of them. Such people can only be pitied. This is a 3-D model of perceiving the world, and these people will have to work through it.
On Financial Relationships Born from Trauma and Fear
“After the first divorce, I left everything except personal belongings to my husband. With the second, we have separate finances. Even if I can’t satisfy all my desires, I know for sure that everything I buy for myself and my apartment is my personal property, and there will be no problems with property division.”
In this situation, trauma is evident because the woman was cruelly deceived, or more precisely, betrayed.
Being traumatized is bad. It is bad to build relationships, including financial ones, out of fear.
The universe is a mirror. Everything you have hidden inside (your fears, anxieties, concerns) is confirmed for you through various situations.
For the same reason, for women who are completely dependent on their husbands, life knocks out their support, and their husbands leave.
Since most women in the post-Soviet space suffer from low self-esteem, they perceive such situations as confirmation that something is wrong with them or that they are bad.
Women get traumatized, left without a foundation, without money.
See also: Three types of relationships. Do ideal relationships exist?
What makes a woman claim her power
When you have one crisis in life (for example, losing a job or the death of a loved one, a man leaving), you can cope with it.
It is difficult, but possible, especially if you are a strong woman.
When two supports are knocked out from under you (for instance, you are left without both a job and a husband), it is hard.
But when three or more supports are knocked out simultaneously (without a job, without a husband, with a small child in your arms, and not just one), it is the most severe crisis you have to go through.
But it is followed by tremendous growth, if you pull yourself together and overcome it.
In such periods, you turn your focus from the outside inward; everything false, superficial, and what you were clinging to falls away.
You turn inward, delve into yourself, analyze what was done wrong, learn to accept yourself and your path, gather pearls of wisdom, and a breakthrough happens – you claim your power.
See also Awakening of Feminine Power. Best materials for true women
What do you think: should a woman work in marriage, be independent, or, on the contrary, live at her husband’s expense? Please share your opinion!
The article is based on a broadcast from the #conversation_on_the_couch section “Separate budget. Who is it suitable for”