Some time ago, I went through a deep inner crisis.
It was a time when many landmarks in my life either collapsed or stopped being valuable.
A time came when I didn’t understand where to move in the new world. I felt intense turbulence, sensing how everything that wasn’t truly mine, the superficial husk, was “falling away” from me.
It was hard, there were tears. I realized that I am not the person I saw myself as. This was both a valuable, beautiful, and frightening discovery at the same time.
Upon emerging from the crisis, I felt as if I had moved to another level, starting to gain some kind of inner wholeness, you know…
Information began to reach me that now is the time to pay attention to my unique gift, to find it, to nurture it. The time has come to follow my soul, to live by the laws of my heart.
And I began to search for that unique gift that I undoubtedly have, that gift, upon finding which, I would feel whole.
To do this, I decided to draw on the experience of one of my past lives, where I had already found my gift. In one of the past life regressions, it turned out that this gift is living from the heart.
Moreover, this unique gift was given to me in abundance for its full realization in my current life.
But I didn’t understand what that meant or what “living with an open heart” meant for me personally, so I continued my research.
What it means to “live from the heart”
It turned out that for me personally, living from the heart means accepting myself in all manifestations: successful and unsuccessful, happy and sad, talented and not so much, and so on.
Living from the heart means, at any moment, being yourself here and now, loving and valuing yourself in any circumstances, because this is all me.
And it was difficult for me to understand what it means to accept myself in moments of failure, rejection, or defeat. It was precisely these moments that turned out to be my “weak link.”
But I began to understand that whether I am successful or unsuccessful is an assessment of my mind. It is the mind that assigns a plus or minus to my current state. But that doesn’t mean I need to reject and hide myself from myself in those moments.
This realization was a true revelation for me!
Go through the meditation “Being Yourself. How to Express Your Truth with Love,” which will help you free yourself from the energy, emotions, beliefs, and limitations that prevent you from being yourself, and to broadcast your truth with love.
I continued exploring myself, began searching for where in my current life I had lost my unique gift, at what moments I stopped living from the heart and went against my own soul.
We all come from childhood. That’s where I found several situations that helped me “get rid of” my gift. I’ll give the most vivid example.
In third grade, I transferred to a new school with a stronger and more advanced program, and I started sliding from being an honor student down to getting C’s. I was very upset back then, experiencing genuine suffering.
Now, as an adult, I decided to return to that situation and look at it through the eyes of my soul.
And what happens on an energetic level inside me? It’s as if I’m hiding, pushing away a part of myself. That part that was unsuccessful, that got C’s.
I don’t accept that part of myself, I diligently pretend it doesn’t exist, I don’t see or notice it. That’s how my rejection of myself, of my heart, happened…
Of course, there were plus sides to this – it’s like a quick-acting pill – I rejected myself at an inconvenient moment and it didn’t seem to hurt that much…
But in the end, it all led to the crisis I wrote about above.
We invite you to the Dance with the Shadow workshop, where you can welcome back those parts of yourself that you once rejected.
Open Your Heart
Next, I’ll share how to open your heart anew. The main steps:
- Find the traumatic situations that closed your heart.
Return to your childhood, find the most vivid, key traumatic situations. Identify several situations that are similar in their inner experiences and feelings.
- Heal these traumatic situations by talking with your inner child in each one.
Return to each of these situations, now as a conscious adult, to the situation where you are a little child.
See that you are alone together (your inner child and you, the adult), put the situation “on pause,” and begin a conversation with your crying little one.
Talk about this situation, why it is needed in life, why it is important, what key insights it provides for your future development. Talk about how beautiful and happy you will grow up.
Nourish these situations as a whole and each one individually, nourish your little self, with the energy of the soul and with the insights and experience you gained as a result of what happened.
Send rays of love, acceptance, warmth, and kindness to your little self and to all the situations as a whole.
Do this until your little one starts to smile and asks to be held. Take them in your arms, give them a place in your heart, promise that now you will always be together and happy.
See also Mindfulness Practices, or How to Turn Off Automatic Emotional Reactions
Inner Child Healing Technique.
- After the wounds are healed, study your bodily sensations. What did you feel in childhood when you made a choice “from the heart.”
Return in your memories to those moments when you made a choice, and that choice turned out to be right. Mentally “dive inside your body” into the moment when you made the choice.
Study your body’s reactions: what the body feels, where and how energy flows. Remember and anchor these sensations.
Congratulations! Now you know which decisions come to you from your soul and which from your mind.
Now, in a situation of choice, you simply need to turn on the “main indicator” — your body. And then everything is simple — you are free, based on your body’s sensations, to choose whether to follow your soul or your mind.
The meditation “Returning to Yourself” will help you regain your lost sense of unity with your spiritual essence and wholeness.
My Life from the Heart
What does living from the heart ultimately give me in this period?
It is a feeling of fullness, openness, and self-acceptance. I feel that I am truly “opening up,” living in the flow, rather than engaging in some absurd race where there are no winners or losers.
Why feelings? Because I am still only learning to experience these emotions fully and every day. I am still only learning to be myself, to listen to my soul, and to follow my heart. However, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step…
Living from the heart is a unique gift. And it is unique for every person.
By ignoring the signals of your heart, you are rejecting a part of yourself, essentially a part of your soul, and you stop hearing it.
A person cannot be happy if they live in disconnection from their soul. Therefore, living from the heart is not only your unique gift but also a spiritual duty that leads to understanding who you are, why you are here, and where you are going.
See also: Why a Closed Heart is Dangerous for You