Someone who is in survival mode, at the victim level, is not in control of anything in their life; all their power is given away to someone else.
A victim has no power by default. Someone else runs their life. They are very dependent on everything external. Because any event that happens to other people in the country, or on planet Earth as a whole, has a strong impact on them, since the person is initially convinced that they cannot change anything in their own life.
Moreover, when they try to change something, they lack the strength, simply because they fundamentally don’t believe in themselves.
The way out of victimhood always comes through taking responsibility upon yourself for everything that has happened in your life. This step is very difficult because you have to admit that for all the most unpleasant things that have happened, all your grievances, defeats, and failures, you yourself are responsible.
Usually at this step, people fall even deeper into victimhood, and everything stops there.
But today we are not talking about them. This article is for those who have somehow managed to overcome this stage of their life and already have personal experience in shaping the reality around them.
Let’s talk about where else you are giving away your power.
Dependence on the External
One of the ways you truly give away your power is dependence on the external. These are remnants of codependency: codependency on people, on circumstances. That is, when you cannot rely solely on what you want.
And while evaluating yourself based on other people’s actions or approval is all very basic, when you are more preoccupied with what is happening outside than with what you are thinking or feeling right now, that is the moment you are giving away your power.
Let me give you an example. You approach someone and ask them for 10 rubles. It’s a small amount, but what comes up inside for those who can’t do it? Awkwardness, thoughts spinning around in that moment.
Or for example, a person who looks homeless approaches you and asks for money.
What thoughts start spinning in your head? Doubt, uncertainty: what if they are deceiving me?
Catch the vibration of this approach, because it shows up in many areas of life. We try to make a decision or a choice based on what another person thinks or said.
What difference does it make to us whether they are deceiving us or not?
In this specific example, does it matter if they need the money right now for what they said (short on gas, or their children are hungry) or for something else?
At that moment, we switch to the external, trying to find logic, inconsistencies, to believe or not believe.
Shifting from Outside to Inside Yourself as a Way to Reclaim Your Power
In reality, what matters is how filled up you are in that moment. If we’re talking about money, how much free money do you have right now?
And the second point: are you ready, do you want to share this money with someone?
Everything else is completely irrelevant. Whether the person told the truth or not. What they use it for, how they apply it, where they invest their energy.
We are constantly trying to take circumstances into account. Moreover, well-mannered people probably think they need to put themselves in the other person’s shoes, understand what motives are driving them, and based on that, draw conclusions and make decisions.
We cannot get inside another person; we don’t know what drove them. We can only guess.
And here we fall into our own illusions, based on which we try to make our own choices. But in reality, we need to return inside ourselves.
And there are only two parameters here. Can I do this? Does my physical health allow it? Does my free time allow it? In this example, do my finances allow it, do I have available funds?
And the second point – am I ready to do this?
Two criteria that have nothing to do with other people, circumstances, or anything outside of you.
See also Turning inward as a process of reclaiming your power on a collective level
What if you are not ready to help
If you are not ready to help, to give money, there is nothing wrong with that. This is not a question of moral weighing, whether you are doing good or not good.
You are simply not ready. It is a matter of one second. Without explanations.
Behind explanations usually lie attempts to justify yourself to someone, and usually a mythical someone. But no one comes and asks.
What matters here is whether you are aware of it or not. Ready, not ready? I will be ready, I will do it.
I usually give myself time to ripen into readiness, because the habitual, the comfortable, it is familiar, understandable. When you encounter something unknown or unexplored, the first reflex is to refuse.
Therefore, the first point is shifting the focus of attention from outside to inside yourself, when you proceed from how they are, somewhere out there, rather than what you are feeling, thinking, wanting in that moment. Relying on yourself, but in a different form.
The second point is connected to the present. And attention to the unknown.
See also Who and when you can help. Motives and principles of helping other people from a spiritual perspective
Reclaiming your power through embracing the unknown
Being in the present goes hand in hand with diving into the unknown.
When you wake up, you try to identify yourself: “where am I, who am I, what am I like.”
Lately, there is a moment of suspension, especially when you dream some dream where you are in another reality and not very similar to your current self.
This moment is strongly felt when a person returns to consciousness, not everything loads immediately.
For most people, the day’s to-do list turns on, all your experience from yesterday loads. And this is the moment of loading past experience.
Behind this to-do list, all the thoughts associated with these people, experiences, emotional states that you once lived through are loaded.
Right now, you cannot pass by this, it is happening so obviously, though it doesn’t always sink in. You woke up? Stay in the present. Why are you reviewing your entire to-do list?
And here mantras for the day come to the forefront, when we give ourselves some kind of setting for the day. The ideal option is gratitude. An inhale of acceptance, an inhale of gratitude.
An important point is the unknown. If you use past experience, if you think the same thoughts, if you have all the same emotions as before, what kind of future are we talking about?
But when you dive into the unknown, then a breakthrough occurs for you.
Because the new is simply not registered in the body; aside from the stress hormone that arises with every unfamiliar new situation, there is no ready biochemical response, no set of thoughts.
Most people don’t like facing challenges. So the next time you encounter a challenge, when you need to find some ingenious solution to a situation, mobilizing all your mental and spiritual abilities, celebrate that moment.
This is your exit from autopilot and your dive into the unknown, the new.
Take the “Infusion of Power” Meditation, whose goal is to reclaim your power, energy, and value that you gave away to things, structures, and people.
Invest in what you want to see, not in negative scenarios
One of the laws of the Universe is that where you direct your attention, there you invest your energy. And it multiplies.
How long can you keep investing in what you don’t want?
You just need to stop feeding negative scenarios, negative thoughts, and your weaknesses.
Take back your power from the ideas you empowered, including places and circumstances. Because there are circumstances that are very difficult to overcome.
We struggle and struggle with them, empower them, and then wonder why the situation never gets resolved. We don’t invest in the miraculous resolution of the situation, the one you will handle, where you will find the solution.
Right now, I’m going to focus specifically on you, because most people hope for a miracle or for someone else to do it. They hand over responsibility to that same “someone,” expecting someone else to step up and do it.
I will handle it. I can do it. I will find a solution, I will do it all. And for those whose anxiety rises at this stage: bye-bye, power!
See also: Returning Inner Authority Through the Art of Micro-Steps
The Mastery of Non-Interference
One last point for reflection for the more advanced part of the audience.
When you have reclaimed your power and you understand that you can move mountains, an important question arises: in which cases can you interfere, and in which cases not?
So I want to remind you about the law of free will and choice. You are responsible for yourself, for what happens in your life, for the thoughts that spin in your head, for the emotions you experience, for your creations, for what you have created and brought forth.
Other people are responsible for the same things on their end.
With experience comes the mastery of non-interference, because you see the value and wisdom a person gains when they step on their own rake time and time again, when they get hit so hard in the face that it forces them to wake up and look around.
And then, despite the fact that you begin to have a great impact on the people around you and on the world as a whole, you choose not to deprive people of that experience, those lessons, those pearls of wisdom they can gain from each specific situation.
See also: Sense of Belonging as a Criterion for Interfering in Someone Else’s Situation
Why the Enlightened Do Not Interfere in the Development of Humanity
That’s why enlightened beings don’t interfere. They exist, but as you can see, they haven’t sat down, meditated, snapped their fingers, and made peace happen across the entire planet.
Because that would be a temporary solution. After 10-20-30, or even 50 years, everything would return to the same old ways, because people, in general, haven’t grown enough yet.
There are those who could change this. But our task is to change everything TOGETHER.
You and I are in the same boat. We have one planet for everyone. And instead of pulling the blanket over ourselves or blaming the 95% of unconscious people, we need to lend a hand to create an opportunity for everyone.
And you can only show this by your own example, when you live the way you would like other people to live.
When you have done everything that you are showing, but only by your own example, not with words, not with mental constructs, but simply by living that way, sharing your light and love, showing that different moods exist, but you can remain within yourself, rely on yourself.
And then, together, each in our own place, we slightly lift the world, making it a little brighter, a little kinder, without closing our eyes to the fact that right next to us there might be a person with a completely opposite disposition. But we are all in this together.
When you change, your environment changes, the people you constantly meet and communicate with change. This is how the network spreads.
Do you have examples from life when you felt yourself giving away your power?
Article based on the group meditation [Meditation #144] Returning Your Power