The motive for transformation is the starting point of any change. It determines why you embark on transformation, what decisions you make, and what results you achieve.
In recent years, the topic of personal transformation has become widespread, but along with this, the distortion of understanding motivation has intensified. Most people are not aware of their real motive: one thing is in their head, another in their emotions, and a third manifests in their actions.
This desynchronization, this inconsistency, affects the lack of clarity about where I am going, for what purpose, and the motive with which I am doing it. And in the topic of transformation, motive is of paramount importance.
Therefore, in this article, we will discuss which motives are “correct” depending on the point of the path you are on.
Earlier, we examined two aspects of transformation: giving to receive, and the goal of transformation.
The process of transformation is necessarily a loss of something that you voluntarily or forcibly give up so that something new can replace the old. This is an important understanding that, for some reason, many people constantly miss.
The second aspect concerns your goal with which you enter the transformation.
Read the series of articles on this topic if you missed it.
The motive for transformation: what truly drives you
External motive for transformation: the desire for recognition
Our basic courses are transformational. When a person purchases a course, it is assumed that they come with the motive to change something in themselves. And in fact, this is already a blessing and correct.
Because there are a huge number of people who are dissatisfied with everything in life, but they categorically refuse to change anything in it. And they do not make a single move to change anything.
There are certainly such people in your circle. They ask questions: how to do this or that. You meet them six months later — nothing has changed, everything remains as it was.
Against their background, even when you act with a selfish, external motive: “I will change something in myself now, and then my husband will start to appreciate and love me,” or “then they will understand what they lost,” this is still a step forward.
This motive is often encountered in youth: “I will become beautiful, smart, athletic, and then he will understand what he lost when he broke up with me.”
This is an immature approach, but it exists, and it is also correct at this stage because it drives you to change. And it does not matter that it is external — you are not doing it for yourself, but so that others finally see something. But such a motive exists.
I remember myself being like that in my youth. But now, quite mature people come with the same motives.
Over the past few years, there has been a radical change in how people perceive information, how open they are, how ready for change, how unafraid they are to venture into something new. This is partly connected to the illusory world that was born in our minds.
Instead of learning to analyze, synthesize, and move toward clear thinking, we have collectively shifted in another direction. And this is something we have had to deal with in recent years.
But at the initial stage of development, as a motivating factor, this will also be correct because it helps to break out of the inert swamp where you are a victim, controlling nothing. This is already a kind of movement forward.
Let the motive be such, but from our perspective, years later, it seems somewhat crooked, yet it is still appropriate according to the given stage of development of a particular individual.
Read also: How to get out of the victim state
Internal Motive: Self-Improvement and Feelings of Inadequacy
Another common motive for transformation is endless self-improvement, when you operate from a sense of inadequacy, of not measuring up.
There is always some unattainable ideal that surpasses you, that is cooler in one way or another. There is always someone more beautiful, smarter, always someone more loving, more caring.
We assemble this perfect something for ourselves and try to strive toward it. But since we start from this internal feeling of “not enough” — undervalued, unloved — this also becomes a driving force.
Will this motive be correct? It depends on the period of life you are going through.
For some, it is actually a big kick to move forward, especially for perfectionists, of whom there are quite a large number among you. In that case, you really just need focus on where to apply your efforts.
If in the first case it was an external motive, here it is already an internal motive.
But you need to gradually remove all these conditions, examine this ideal, figure out what it is actually assembled from, and what are the criteria, the parameters by which you evaluate everything and consider yourself falling short.
See also: Self-Improvement, or How to Stop Endlessly Fixing Yourself and Start Living
Rational Motive for Personal Transformation
What will the motive be when you reach the state of “I am enough”?
When you are filled from within, even if there are occasional setbacks, but rarely, not like before — every other day or every week, every month?
You are in a more or less balanced, harmonious state most of the time.
Rare moments are usually associated with some serious trials you face that force you to dive deeper: illnesses, a loved one’s sickness, something serious.
You already understand that this endless self-improvement leads nowhere. What do you think the motives will be?
Up to a certain stage, what is wrong with setting a goal, even if it is super ambitious, and moving towards it? And according to this goal, you fine-tune yourself, not because you are “not enough,” but because you see the benefit in it.
Let’s say you are an ordinary employee of some company, and you want to become a higher-level manager. You understand that certain skills are needed for this, and you upgrade yourself according to the required image.
Would that be wrong? If you are not acting to the detriment of others, plotting intrigues, or manipulating people, then it is a perfectly normal, objective goal that you are pursuing.
Is it selfish? Yes. Egocentric? So what? Does it help you move forward? It does.
This is how most people live. You are either at the first stage, the second, or the third. But there is no direct spiritual development here.
See also True Motivation: Three Hidden Motives That Actually Drive You Through Life
Why People Come to Spiritual Transformation
Who has been coming to the topic of spiritual development in recent years? Remember when it was fashionable? It was fashionable to meditate, fashionable to be part of some women’s circles. Was there any altruistic motive there?
Everyone does it, so I do it too.
I have warned many times before that it is time to stop engaging in spirituality if you came there for such motives, because you supposedly voluntarily choose transformation without understanding what lies behind it.
Summary
To understand which transformation motive drives you right now, ask yourself three questions:
- Do I want to change myself or prove something to others?
- Am I moving out of interest or out of a feeling of “I am not good enough”?
- If no one sees the result, will I continue?
The answers to these questions quickly show what level of motivation you are at.
What was your initial motive when you entered the transformation?