Today I saw a comment on a website: “I also have that feeling of an unfinished exam and abandonment.”
And it doesn’t matter which article it was written under… I think many of you are familiar with this feeling right now… the feeling that you’ve been given a FAILING GRADE.
I didn’t expect that after the “New Coordinate System” broadcast, everything would change so much… as if my own words ACTIVATED a new layer of something that’s hard to define.
As if someone “upstairs” gave the go-ahead and off it went…
Whatever I look at right now, I immediately see that everything needs to change here too… and on a global scale.
This doesn’t mean that what used to work has stopped working. No. It works. But I’m no longer SATISFIED with it in its current form.
I’m disgustingly unsatisfied.
Last week I literally skipped a webinar. I showed up and realized I DIDN’T want to be there.
The only thing that pleased me about this situation was that I didn’t force myself to do something I didn’t want to do.
But the pangs of conscience and sense of responsibility remained; I had nightmares all night where I was trying to explain the reasons for my behavior…
It used to be simpler. You could start from scratch. Throw away what was and begin anew.
Now I have a completely different feeling: I need to reshape everything that already exists to fit me…
Returning to the analogy mentioned in the broadcast, to see everything that was in the new perspective of the 3D world.
A difficult process, personally for me.
It’s like someone stuck a net into a fish tank and stirred everything up… The water is murky, you can’t see anything, even though you know where everything should be.
Well, we’ll just have to wait for the murk to settle, or for the cleaning filters to restore order.