Have you ever planned something, but in reality everything turns out the opposite?
And you’re even afraid to dream about anything now, because it doesn’t come true; you forbid yourself from thinking about what you desire, so you won’t have to experience disappointment later.
Or you can describe in full detail what you *don’t* want, but you don’t know what you *need*. Sound familiar?
Let’s figure out why this happens and whether it’s possible to switch one polarity — the negative one — to another with a plus sign.
What is Inverse Polarity, or Why Everything Turns Out the Opposite
Inverse polarity is the habit of seeing the negative in everything and focusing on it. It most likely develops in childhood and strengthens over time.
And it’s not so easy to break free from.
Inverse polarity is linked to self-doubt and undervaluing yourself.
A person doesn’t believe they deserve to have their wishes fulfilled, their requests granted, or to be treated with respect.
They’ve had little confirmation in life that their desires can come true: one dream didn’t come true, then another. Perhaps they didn’t know how to achieve what they wanted, or they lacked self-belief.
One or all of these factors influence a person forming a belief that dreams don’t come true: what I plan still won’t work out, I won’t be able to prove I need it, and so on.
See also: How to Allow Yourself to Dream
5 Steps Towards Your Dream
The other side of inverse polarity is that a person understands very well what they DON’T want, but has absolutely no idea what they DO want.
This can relate to absolutely any area of life and is accompanied by discomfort. There’s a part inside that knows the person deserves better than what they currently have, but their beliefs and life experience say the opposite.
And so they express denial: “I don’t know how, but not like this.” They can’t admit to themselves, can’t believe, that they deserve better treatment, better relationships, better living conditions…
For example, you say: “I don’t like it when people show me disrespect or neglect; I can’t stand being lied to.”
And if you encounter this kind of treatment, you feel strong discomfort.
But at the same time, you don’t say that you deserve respect, that your opinion should be considered, because deep down you don’t believe it.
So what to do? How to reprogram yourself for the opposite?
See also: How to Write a New Paradigm of Thinking
Read about what actions you need to take to make the new paradigm take root in your life.
How to Reprogram Yourself for Positivity
Step 1: Write Down All Your “Don’t-Wants”
Start a journal and write down everything you don’t want. The more, the better.
There can be many such “don’t-wants” in every area of life: family relationships, work, rest, your appearance. Write it all down.
Also write down your fears about being disappointed that your desires might not come true.
For example: “I want to get married, but I’m afraid my man won’t propose,” or “I won’t win this contest anyway,” “I won’t be able to earn the money for the trip anyway; some force majeure will always happen, and I’ll have to spend the money.”
See also: Hidden Motives Driving You When Achieving Goals. Two Questions to Gain Clarity
Step 2. Reframe them
Write the direct opposite next to each statement.
For example, instead of “I don’t like that I work a lot and have no rest” — “I deserve regular rest, and that’s normal. I need to rest.”
“I want to start a family and I deserve it. I am ready to start a family with a loved one, someone who shares my feelings and this desire.”
Your brain will resist, your inner critic will say: where has that ever been seen, what audacity. But that’s normal.
You need time to get used to the reverse polarity.
Read also The Inner Critic: Enemy or Friend. How to Befriend It.
Step 3. Integrate new beliefs into your life
When you feel discomfort and the urge to say what you don’t want and what you don’t like, think about the opposite. What kind of treatment do you deserve?
Carry your journal with your “anti-wants” with you and peek into it if you find it hard to immediately rewrite a “don’t-want” into its opposite in your mind.
First, you’ll get used to thinking in a new way, then you’ll begin to express and broadcast to others what you do want.
After some time, the mind gets used to looking in the other direction, and reprogramming occurs.
You begin to see not only what you don’t want, but what you do want instantly kicks in as well.
Step 4. Trust the Universe
If you’re afraid to dream, fearing the opposite will happen, it’s important to understand that it’s all in your head.
If you were able to create a reflex that your desires don’t come true, you can create the opposite one too.
Trust the universe — listen to your heart. If it feels joyful, everything is good; if your solar plexus is twisting, then it’s not your desire or the right path.
Listen to your body’s signals. Pay attention to the signs around you. Learn to trust your inner voice; gradually the old program will fade, and your confidence will increase.
See also How to Recognize Answers from Higher Powers. 8 Ways They Communicate with You
Step 5. Love yourself
This is more of a process than a step. Self-love is the foundation upon which everything is built.
Self-love is a long and difficult journey; without acceptance and love, you cannot find harmony, satisfaction, or enjoyment of life.
Ideally, you need to reach a state where you don’t have even a hint of doubt that you are undeserving of something.
In which areas of your life is it hardest for you to determine what you want? Share your stories of when your desires came true in the opposite way!
The article is based on materials from accompanying webinars for clients of the Keys to Mastery Center.