Where does resistance come from? And how to understand whether it is a fear of change or a reluctance to go in the wrong direction?
In this article, we will look at 5 reasons for resistance to change and its different nature. You will get an answer to the question of when you need to actually act and when to stop.
5 reasons for resistance to change
1. Lack of readiness
One of the key points in working with resistance is readiness. Your readiness to accept changes that are already happening or will happen.
Resistance arises before some significant transformation. It is closely connected with the ego. This is an important part of you, it is responsible for safety and survival. The ego has served us well in the past. But now, for the most part, it is afraid, it has become rigid.
The ego is afraid and, in fear, generates a whole cacophony of emotions and internal sensations that prevent moving forward.
Therefore, one of the key points in accepting change is readiness. If you feel that there is resistance inside and you are not ready to do what is needed right now, give yourself time. I call this the habituation period. Get used to this idea so that it becomes ingrained within you.
Whether it is a job offer, a change of activity, the birth of a child, marriage, and so on. Resistance can manifest in all areas of life.
If you feel that you are not ready, carry this thought with you constantly. And it does not matter whether you write it on a piece of paper, hang it in different parts of the room to see it constantly as a reminder, put it in your wallet, or constantly reflect on it.
When a certain idea appears, something new, it initially frightens you because you don’t consider yourself ready to handle the consequences: I am not smart enough, not strong enough, I won’t be able to cope with this, I don’t have the right competence, and so on. There is no sense of readiness yet.
But when you walk around, reflect on this topic, while doing household chores, after some time this thought will stop frightening you. You get used to it. This idea, this new concept that you initially resisted, or rather, not you, but your egoistic part, has settled inside.
You see the same obstacles, the same possible consequences, but not as emotionally, and there is no longer such a strong response or resistance. Because you are already looking objectively. And then readiness appears.
See also When you want changes in life. Growth through challenges
2. Fear of losing control
Another reason for resistance is that we are always afraid of losing control.
What we have at the moment is stable. It seems familiar and known to us, we have been here before. But there is something unclear, incomprehensible.
It is important to accept that you cannot always control everything, and that you need to loosen your grip on control. And here trust will come to the forefront: “I know for sure that everything happening in my life at this moment serves for my good.”
Even if it is difficult, hard, it is for my good, without fail. It cannot be otherwise.
See also Balance of control and trust – how to achieve it
3. Uncertainty
The third reason resistance kicks in is uncertainty. Many people are not always confident that they will cope, that they have sufficient qualifications, or that their abilities are adequate. This throws them off balance and stirs up a strong wave of emotions.
A mechanism of lowering one’s self-esteem and self-perception is activated. This is a moment of reassessment. It is important not to downplay your achievements, but rather to review how you have changed and realize that you are capable, that you have this opportunity and will take advantage of it.
4. Struggle Between Your Readiness and Challenges
The next moment or stage occurs when there is a struggle between your readiness and endless challenges. This causes heightened resistance.
When you seem to have gotten used to the idea of change, perhaps even taken the first step, challenges that need to be overcome begin to arise.
Often at this stage, people step back: “maybe this isn’t for me,” thinking that since they made up their minds, the entire path ahead will be a green light. But perhaps these challenges serve as a kind of test for you to think again whether you truly want this.
See also: How you create illusions to justify inaction
5. Expectations
One should also not forget about expectations. When you ride this wave, it seems there is the reality of what you have and the reality of what you want. And it is unclear whether you are getting closer to it or not. This also stirs up emotions.
It is something new, unknown; you do not know how to control it, whether you will handle it; you begin to doubt whether you need it, whether you will feel good afterward. Several factors combine at once: uncertainty and the fear of losing control.
If you give in to these emotions, a powerful rift can occur between what you wanted, expected, and reality. All of this stirs up a storm of emotions, and all these five reasons generate a mechanism of resistance.
See also What expectations lead to and why you need to get rid of them
Resistance is a natural reaction
Usually, people gladly accept positive changes, but special attention should be paid when a negative reaction occurs.
When changes and transformations in your understanding seem positive, resistance burns out faster, you step over it more quickly. But usually, resistance is accompanied by fear, anger, and even aggression.
In psychology, all stages of resistance are well documented. This is a normal human reaction. And the main thing you can do for yourself is to realize this. If something inside you causes resistance, it means something grandiose lies behind it.
But then the question arises: how to see the difference? How to distinguish between resistance that leads to grandiose, joyful changes and when you feel you are on the wrong path?
The different nature of resistance to change
How does the feeling of resistance manifest when you are going in the wrong direction? How is it expressed in you? What are the symptoms?
I have never in my life experienced resistance from going the wrong way. For me, these are completely different processes, but this might be my individual characteristic.
Resistance is a reaction of the ego, that part of you that fears change, that trembles for your safety and survival. It worries about you, but in a somewhat perverted form.
And when you feel that you are going the wrong way, it is connected to the level of intuition, to your ability to feel.
When you are going the wrong way, higher powers send you thousands of signals, and the further you go, the more powerful they become, which you hear from different sides. It is impossible not to notice.
Can you distinguish sabotage from resistance, that you are going the wrong way? How much do you trust the voice of your intuition?
Fragment of the group meditation «Beyond Resistance»