“I’m tired of fighting…”
“Life is some kind of endless struggle.”
We hear phrases like this quite often.
It could be about problems at work, health, children and husbands, or even a cheeky house cat.
Many of us came to the “alternative” path of development precisely from this fatigue and a reluctance to live in a state of struggle or defense.
But, despite the level of spirituality, the feeling of struggle sometimes appears even in the most advanced.
Most esoteric books and lecturers urge and teach:
- to accept the world and all its manifestations,
- and as a result, to give up any kind of struggle.
So what are we fighting?
And how do we stop fighting the struggle itself?
Struggle is a habitual state in the 3D world
From early childhood, we are raised to be, if not a fighter, then at least a defender.
By the time we reach a conscious age, we are deeply convinced that if we don’t take certain steps, someone else will take our place in the sun, and if we behave “too peacefully,” there will be problems.
Look at how many people are afraid to do anything, precisely expecting problems with competitors, the state, the tax office, changes in the political climate, and the like; they are afraid to build relationships, relying on their own or their parents’ negative experiences.
Depending on the situation and personal qualities, we are either in a deaf defense waiting for a blow, or we are already swinging ourselves…
Tired of fighting, we come to the knowledge that the Universe merely reflects our vision.
In the modern world, flexibility is essential. It’s hard for people who stick to their line and are unable to turn even half a step to the side. Read why it’s important to be flexible and how to learn it.
Knowledge is not yet understanding and acceptance, and certainly not application.
Now I know that if I smile at the world, like the raccoon from the fairy tale, then the world will smile back at me, like a reflection in a pond. But I forget to smile.
Habit is one of the most tenacious “entities” within us.
It’s like a boxer who left the sport long ago but, upon an unexpected touch from behind, might instinctively throw a punch to the jaw out of habit.
Our brain is the most disciplined organ: if it was always taught to react THIS way to a certain stimulus, then to react THAT way, it will have to be retrained and retrained.
Also read: How Self-Trust Affects the Quality of Your Life
Trust gives a person access to powerful internal resources that nourish them and help them on their life path.
Learn how to trust yourself and the world.
Struggling with your reactions
The great Einstein was right: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
So, once you realize that your habitual reactions to recurring situations lead to the same “tears,” you begin to retrain yourself to react.
And this is where the stage of fighting old reactions begins.
If situations themselves burst into our lives and are impossible to ignore, then reactions are automated and therefore need to be caught.
Usually, the first reaction to problems is different:
- For some, it’s panic: “What do I do? What will happen to me because of this?”
- For others, it’s anger: “Have they completely lost their nerve over there? Well, I’ll show them!”
- Someone quickly calls everyone they know and seeks help.
- Someone, for the hundredth time, swears not to nag their husband about his beer can, to smile at the screaming boss, and so on.
In a word:
You know best what a SITUATION is for you and how you REACT.
By thinking about a problem, you allow it to grow.
Watch the video Let Go of the Problem — Fall into the Solution and use the 3-step algorithm.
Catching yourself by your “tongue,” by your “hand,” or by an emotion, you mentally lament:
“There I go again, stepping on the same rake, in the same spot, with the same screams!”
That is, you are already scolding yourself for the reaction.
Stop right there!
Quietly and peacefully exhale and praise yourself:
“I’m great! I’m just brilliant! I’m not fighting the situation, I’m accepting it as a task, an interesting task!”
Of course, it’s great if you already know how to quickly switch into the Observer state, but that comes with experience.
See also The Observer State. How Not to Get Drawn into Conflict
What to do when you get drawn into a conflict situation and become its main protagonist? There are techniques that will allow you to feel independent and protected.
Even if you stopped and pulled yourself together later, still try to be happy for yourself and admire yourself!
In order to continue working on yourself, remember the first reaction, the words that came to mind, in the small details.
It’s clear that not everything directly mirrors our message to the world, but you need to start with this: with the very first reaction and the very first thoughts.
“Play” the reverse game:
- The world attacked you – I stand in defense.
- It doesn’t love me – I don’t love myself.
- The boss doesn’t understand – and I’m all “understanding,” right?
And the next stage, we dig into WHAT EXACTLY leads us into situations and reactions.
By lifting layers of past experience, past grievances and traumas, we slowly find the “guilty ones.”
Fighting the “guilty” and offenders
No matter how hard we try, when remembering the past and trying to forgive and understand what it was teaching us, emotions overwhelm us at first.
We cry, get angry, blame, and only later, remembering that we need to simply give thanks and find the Pearl of Wisdom, we fight with ourselves again.
See also How to Stop Living in the Past
Think and write down a few points – what this situation, this person taught you, how your life changed, what you realized and understood thanks to that event. These are the pearls of wisdom.
Very rarely does anyone manage to look at a situation impartially right away, and there’s no need to immediately repeat memorized words of forgiveness and letting go.
Don’t fight your emotions – scream it out, speak it out, cry it out, whatever has surfaced.
There’s a wonderful way to “talk out” what’s been brewing:
Find a small stone on the street (usually its appearance and weight will match your emotions) and tell that stone EVERYTHING, even things you would never allow yourself to say.
It’s best to go to the shore of a body of water and, using any words, pour out your “…how could you do this to me!? …did you even love me at all?! All … jerks.”
Very often, a feeling of self-pity for your dear self arises.
Feel sorry for yourself, have a good cry, just don’t fall into it for too long, making excuses with the “uniqueness” of your trauma.
How we cling to grievances, traumas, and our “special” problems, and why we cherish and nurture them – that’s a separate topic for discussion.
See also: Being Vulnerable — Weakness or a Display of Strength
From this article, you will learn whether vulnerability truly equals weakness and what the advantage of this state is.
Having analyzed the situations, grievances, and beliefs, we rewrite them.
At first, it’s very engaging and not without risk. Are you sure that all beliefs are hindering you, or is it even a belief at all?
Some people completely drop out of reality to dig up, for example, their childhood.
It’s even worse when they ruthlessly drag their parents into it, voicing their “complaints” to them.
Not only will it just hurt them, and they will hardly understand “your cult,” but most likely, your excavations of the past will have no direct relation to the specific people from your childhood.
It was YOUR perception of their words, your lesson.
You can free yourself from childhood grievances, but you shouldn’t fight the “guilty” people.
See also: How to Learn to Truly Forgive Grievances
Learn how to move from a state of self-pity to liberation, gaining strength and inner harmony.
The Fight for Your “Special World”
And so, having worked through a lot, built your relationship with the Universe, Angels, and boosted your energy, we change our system of cause-and-effect relationships.
Having gotten into yet another unpleasant situation, we already understand that the Higher Powers tried their best to steer us away from it, or at least saved us from a worse scenario.
In a word, nothing is accidental and everything happens in its own time.
But here too, people often go to extremes. In every event, in every word, they look for clues from the Universe, Soul lessons, and so on.
Don’t confuse when your soul is clearly uneasy and something is inexplicably wrong, and you suddenly receive a confirming sign – with simple everyday events that can be “spun up” into a hysterical fit through complex reasoning.
You are getting ready for a trip, you drive off, and your soul is “not at ease,” you are no longer sure you need to go there and want to turn back, and suddenly you have to brake hard because of an erratic driver in a red BMW with license plates 666.
You probably should recall road numerology, ask the angels, and even run to the Pyramid and look into the eyes of the Higher Self.
See also: Road Numerology
What three identical digits on a car license plate mean
But when thoughts spin in your head for half the day: “What are they trying to tell me from above, when my cat Barsik sneezed twice in the morning?” that’s already…
In short, it’s time to just dust the apartment.
In conclusion, I want to remind you: Don’t wait for a “happy ending.”
I’ll work through everything, accept everything, and then happiness will come!! No…
The entire “story of the struggle for the New Self” will go in circles, or rather, in a spiral.
You will keep discovering new horizons of Life, and that means new tasks to work through will surface.
Your Universe will become wider and brighter, more interesting and complex; the questions won’t end, they’ll just change levels.
And you don’t need to struggle, you need to live!
Don’t forget that even though your Soul is learning here, you live in a body, in the physical world!
Find that golden mean where the Soul sings, the Body delights, and the World is so glad to have you in it!