“An object of foolish love, blind attachment” Dahl’s Dictionary
“An object of blind worship” Ushakov’s Dictionary
“An object of admiration, reverence, a call to have a free conscience, an independent and bold mind [according to the Old Testament: a divine commandment to the prophet Moses]” Ozhegov’s Explanatory Dictionary
Today I want to turn your gaze inward and reflect together on the idols we sometimes unconsciously create within ourselves.
How often, out of habit, do you think of certain well-known concepts as something that exists somewhere out there, in the external world? And most likely, you’re reading these lines with surprise and thinking: “What is she talking about, what idols inside myself…” But perhaps you’ll still find it interesting to look at this phenomenon from a different angle.
Read on to see how some of your beliefs hold you back and why it’s important to stop idealizing beliefs.
What idols are we talking about. Why you shouldn’t idealize beliefs
As it turns out, an idol is not only an object of admiration, but also of blind worship — not only of someone, but also of something.
And inside ourselves, we also create our own “idol” — both with a plus sign and, very often, with a minus sign, attaching certain labels to ourselves, whether our own or imposed from the outside.
For example, many people often say about themselves:
- “I’m such a categorical, impatient, demanding person,”
- “I’m such a failure and a loser,”
- “I’m so positive and good,”
- “Everything works out for me, I can handle anything,”
- “Nothing works out for me, and everything slips through my fingers,”
- “I’m so confident,”
- “I’m so confused,”
- “I always stick to a healthy diet,”
- “Life is short, and food is pleasure,”
- “I always keep my composure no matter what. Willpower above all,”
- “I always watch my figure,”
- “Large crowds of people irritate me,”
- “I can’t live without communication,”
- “I love solitude,”
- “Anyone will do, as long as I’m not alone,”
- “I’m so touchy and vindictive,”
- “I don’t hold grudges, and I start each new day with a clean slate,” and so on and so forth…
Write down a list of your inner statements, beliefs, and attitudes. When you write, be as honest with yourself as possible. And you will see how many of your own familiar characteristics you carry within you.
They are literally like a second skin, which, like a shell, sometimes fits perfectly, and other times chafes and causes pain. And then we start seeking help from psychologists, enroll in self-development courses, and read specialized literature. We try to sort out our problems, not realizing that we created them ourselves.
I have called these problems idols, because they trail behind you like they’re on a leash, even when you don’t notice them. You worship them and believe they are the only true and suitable beliefs for you.
You become so attached to what delights/offends you, approves/provokes you, understands/doesn’t understand you, loves/doesn’t love you, amuses/infuriates you. We have created unshakable images inside ourselves that “our reality must by definition correspond to.”
And for a time, we hold on to our dear, familiar little idols, just so we don’t betray ourselves.
But it is precisely by holding on to them that you prevent yourself from moving forward with a free stride, without dragging behind you the entire burden of all these images—these correspondences—like Volga barge haulers dragging a barge.
See also: The influence of the spoken word on shaping events in your life. How to develop creative thinking
Rescuers from idols, or what makes you reconsider your beliefs
And here rescuers from idols come to the rescue—problems, crises, collapses, trials, losses, disappointments—which knock these idols off their pedestals. When these idols fall, it is always painful, unpleasant, agonizing, but we don’t understand any other way.
Until recently, I lived dividing the world into black/white, mine/not mine, suitable/unsuitable, right/wrong, I accept/I don’t understand, and so on. A classic example of living in duality with rigid zones of separation.
But life is impartial, and it strives for harmony and balance in everything. All distortions and imbalances will be corrected and regulated, whether we want it or not.
My time came too…
How wisely everything is arranged. It is golden autumn now, and all the trees accept their new gold-orange-red attire naturally and with love, with the same readiness with which they previously wore green.
And when winter comes, the trees will also accept their uncovered, sometimes unattractive nakedness, without resisting or fighting for the remnants of leaves at any cost.
Do trees have idols? As you understand—NO. Trees live their lives according to their nature, accepting themselves as different in different seasons.
But a person clings with all their might to their “white fluffiness,” to their favorite “outfit”-image, and suffers bitterly if it suddenly turns out to be a fake.
After all, you cannot deceive yourself, no matter how much you veil inside yourself everything that, until a certain point, you do not accept in yourself.
There is a time and place for everything
So what should a person do? A person simply needs to LIVE and experience all of their experiences in whatever colors fit the situation.
After all, there are moments when you are angry, not kind, irritable, not calm, daydreaming, not focused, dwelling on a grudge, instead of forgiving, envious, instead of being happy for others, hating yourself, instead of hugging and accepting yourself, angry that you can’t convince someone of something, instead of simply supporting and loving them as they are (not like you!), and so on in the same vein.
But the main thing is that all these situations and experiences have a beginning and an end, and knowing this, you understand that it won’t last forever.
See also How Illusions Limit Your Life
Why It’s Important to Review Your Beliefs
So is it worth fixating on and worshipping these idols for years (idealizing beliefs), while you are changing, the life around you is changing, your environment and even your occupation are changing, your age is changing, everything is changing every second?
Is it worth spending the precious time of your life on creating and maintaining these idols that block out “a free conscience, an independent and bold mind” in union with love?
Perhaps you will say that this is difficult, and I will agree with you, because I myself learn this every day. And every day I am different, every day has its own color, mood, state.
The task is simply to listen to yourself and be at peace, in harmony, in agreement with yourself. Just try to make this effort, even if it doesn’t work out right away.
Lately, I’ve been very supported by Hegel’s law, where quantitative changes turn into qualitative ones. Just one small step every day. It really works.
But again, you could say that I have now made this law my idol. To some extent, yes, but also no. “Yes” — because I have accepted it into my space, but “no” — because it is not an absolute postulate for me, but rather a kind of beacon whose light shows me the way.
But as soon as the goal is achieved, this beacon will remain far behind, having served its purpose. And I will thank it and continue on my own path.
The same should be done with any old/new mindsets in life. Use them as a tool at the right time, rather than blindly worshipping and following them for your whole life.
That is the only difference between free will and blind worship.
Idols within us can both brighten and simplify our lives, making them clear and defined, and also disappoint and limit us when we continue to use them at the wrong time and in the wrong place, falling into their captivity.
When a traveler sets out on a journey, they take with them maps, navigators, compasses, necessary addresses and phone numbers, tickets, tents, special clothing, a pot, matches, food, and other things.
All these attributes are needed to get from point A to point B and to ease the hardships of the difficult path as much as possible.
But as soon as they reach their goal, all these things are put away in a far drawer as unnecessary, and they use other objects, furniture, clothes, eat balanced food, take a warm bath, and sleep in a soft, warm bed.
Every mindset was created in its own situation, and each one has its own time.
See also How to Go Beyond the Limitations of the Mind
And how do you find inner balance between established mindsets and different situations? What helps you let go of outdated mindsets and become flexible when circumstances are stacked “against you”? How do you use these opportunities?